Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

1:03am: Queer Eye For the Oversharing Ex-Wife of the Straight Guy?
So, I run TheBESTSITEEVAARRR!!!1!! this little pop culture portal called PanFandom, and one of our most popular fandoms is Queer Eye For the Straight Guy, which is largely due to the fact that it's the only such community of its kind for the fandom. Also, Brooding_Soul writes killer recaps of the show and the forums get a lot of traffic, so BRAVO's official show web site links to us quite prominently and frequently. Although they posted that Thom hates our color scheme. Whatev, Filicia. I wasn't crazy about those red light-up coffee tables you bought that redneck that one time, either.

Anyway, a few weeks ago, Queer Eye aired this episode called "Do You Know The Mullet Man?" in which a man wants to get rid of his spectacular mullet and be a Make Better so that he wouldn't embarrass his daughter at her upcoming birthday party. He was portrayed as being a very sweet and loving father and the ep had a lot of "Awwww!" moments. As he always does every week, Brooding_Soul opens a thread about the episode, which can be found here.

Half a dozen posts down, someone named Liz comes in to post her letter to Bravo. You see, apparently Mark Faries, the man featured in that episode, is a big stinky liar. That wasn't his daughter - that was the daughter of his shiny new wife. His REAL daughter, he lied to and told her not to come that weekend. (This has been verified by a half dozen different sources, and even in the ep, he mentions to Carson that it's his stepdaughter, and Carson seems very surprised.) Here's the letter:

( Mark lies. Mark lies... when he cries. )

I have to admit I did smirk at the whole "I hope no child ever has to go through the trauma of being left off her rightful place on an episode of reality television ever again!" Then other friends of the girl's family show up en masse, having all been banned off the Bravo boards, to verify and add details of Mark's assiness. A few posts later, Mark's ex-wife shows up to give us details on how, exactly, Mark Faries deserves to get gonorrhea and die:

( She has been cheated by him all her life, this was just the final blow!!! )

We honestly had no idea what to do about this thread, y'all. It's so obvious that these people got banned by BRAVO and decided to use our forums as a medium for getting the word out, but they weren't doing anything *wrong,* per se. Finally we decided to just leave it there because "It makes me wrinkle my nose in disdain" isn't a valid reason for deleting a post, but maybe we did the wrong thing, because now everyone's sharing their own personal Bad!Parent stories and... ack.

I feel for these people, really, I do, but it's like, I just watch because Kyan and Thom are pretty and give good grooming and design advice, you know? Sigh.

3:30am: Slash wank, take #78,894,569
'cause these are always fun, right?

My favorite obscure fandom (in which I've been slacking abominably for the last ... year ...) is Wild Wild West, dedicated to a t.v. show that ended about 15 years before my birth. It's fun, most of the fans are great, and the series itself is the Gayest Thing EVAR. You Smallville kids think your show's got The Gay? How many undoctored screencaps do YOU have of Lex tied spread-eagle on a big gold-embroidered bed, wearing black leather chaps, while a man holding a riding crop leers at him? How much naked mud wrestling does Clark get up to? And has anybody gone through an entire episode dressed only in a feather skirt and a necklace?

I naively thought it was a practically wank-free fandom. The people I associate with are mostly veteran fans who've learned to chill the fuck out, and the writing quality is very high overall. I'd been told that there were a few psychos out there, but I'd written those off as fandom ghost stories. Til now. Today I heard from someone who read some very good gen stories and wrote the writer to compliment her, only to get a psycho rant in return because the author'd somehow found out the reader was a slash fan. I had to go check out this woman's message board.

( Lo and behold, I found slashwank. )

And it just gets better from there. After all, everyone knows that the only legitimate reason to write fanfiction is to Mary Sue yourself into your favorite characters' pants. Everything else is just sick.

I'm going to go back to my non-psychohosebeast-ridden corner now, if it's all the same to you.

7:27am: DBZ and Roleplaying
I bring you more wank from the Guardians of Order forums. It's small, but a good one.

RatBastard asked if anyone knew about fan conversions of GoO's BESM system for Dragonball Z -- this isn't really an unusual question, as many people ask 'How do I do /blank/ in /insert system here/?' And he gets a few helpful responses, mostly steering him towards people who asked the question before and got answers.

( But apparently DBZ fanboys are wankers. )

I don't know what is better -- the wank, or the fact both of them feel the need to put on-topic gaming tips for DBZ at the bottom of thier posts.

Full Post

3:01pm: From The Twisted Sakura Trees
So Sakura Con was held last week in Seattle, and many people are displeased with how it was run compared to previous years.

The Assault and Flattery section of the message board is especially rife with wankery.

Highlights include:

Two threads proclaiming that people want their money back

Two MORE threads saying basically "You can't complain because you didn't volunteer" (disregarding the fact that many volunteers are among those complaining)

(note--I posted in some of the threads, but I don't think it was enough to merit placement in i_wank)

5:43pm: Anime Wank.
Been around for a while, but this is my first time posting. Go easy on me Do me hard and fast, baby!

*cough* Anyway, out of boredom I headed over to the Anime Nation forums to see what kind of stuff was going down, what anime was being released/bought etc.

Stumbled upon a thread called What is the worse popular anime?, and boy is it getting wanky.

It starts off tame enough; Keiichi-chan posts his/her most disliked popular animes, and people follow, sometimes agreeing, sometimes not.

But then we get the people jumping into to defend their favorite animes. And thus, the wank begins.

It looks like it may have died down for the time being, but you never know.