Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

10:01am: Crystalwank Update
Since no one has posted this here yet...

In which Crystal has a brain tumor, is going blind, nearly died from our cruelty, and, oh yeah, is four different people.

10:37am: Sort of OT, but its going to bug me until I ask....
For us semi-newbies, and for the total newbies, I have to ask this. Please be gentle as you razz me for ignorance.

What do some of the terms I see used all the time mean? Like OP, OTP, BNF, and AU? Or any other terms there might be. Can we possibly get a guide for the clueless?

Thank you for your time. Feel free to commence with the finger pointing and laughing.

EDIT: Saying thank you to all of you who responded here, instead of trying to catch up with each individual post (I admit it, I'm lazy as hell). It warms my heart that you all responded so nicely, instead of raking this newbie and others over the coals. Such lovely people here......

8:09pm: Hail Jennifer, mother of wank!
Looks like JDR is feeling..."frisky" lately. No, wait, I meant "insanely bitchy".

For the uninitiated, JDR is an insane, semi-housebound otaku with a queerly loyal cult following, and all KINDS of issues. She is also the World's Greatest Victim, and never admits fault if she can pin it on someone else. Also she thinks that we're on the verge of a Big Gay Holocaust, and uses her exceptionally piss-poor "art" and "thought"--all of which, I can assure you, has a delightful bouquet of fruity "I wish I was Japanese" and even fruitier "My Goddess this is brilliant and OMG SO KAWAIICLEVAR" notes--to get the message across.

( JDR to Crystal: I WILL BURY YOU (in creamy spooge volume)! )

Christ, I love JDR.

9:10pm: Justin . . . Guar . . . ini? He was on Survivor, right?
Just kidding. Anyway, a friend of mine is a major fan of his and she passed this excessively verbose wank on to me.

JMan'sWorld is the group on MSN where all this went down, and since I'm entirely too lazy and too unfamiliar with the fandom to wade through the spooge and try to make sense of it, I'll cut and paste what she told me let her do it for me (she's "Cinthe500milegirl" in the thread):

"Okay, my friend Mary started a thread suggesting that we all pick one day to buy Justin's CD and then donate the CDs to a charity or some such thing.

Well, JJ [JJlikesugar] - one of the psychos - suggests that everyone send them to someone who is going to the Columbus benefit and the CDs could be donated to the kids at the hospital.

So Fog, the psycho DA, says that it would be a good idea if someone going to the benefit wanted to handle it.

No one was offering, so I did - I said that I was going to contact Pam, the woman in charge of the benefit, and see who I had to talk to.

Well, that day while I was at work, Fog found out that a couple of girls at American Sweethearts, a Justin/Kelly board, had already planned a similar project, donating things from the hospital's wish list - and she posted about it, and then added her own editorial comments slamming them for being Jellies [for the unwashed masses, Jellies are folks who like Justin and Kelly or who want them to be/believe they are a couple].

And then all hell broke loose.

One of the girls in question posted in response, and she had a pretty good argument going until she threatened to report our board to MSN and get us shut down if the managers didn't quit dissing them.

And now JJ has started sending me nasty emails, telling me how dare I try to coordinate this project with the AS one, and she's sending her CDs to someone separately, and this should be a strictly JMan'sWorld thing....blah blah blah"

Great fun within

Bonus: JJ, who seems to be both illiterate and under the Delusion that she is in the Seventeenth Century from all the Random Capitalizations.