Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

12:46am: Beatle wank (sadly no footage) O.o
Figured I'd bring some of the Originally Wanky Fandoms up here. And believe me, as far as splooge goes, Beatle fans just might have invented it. I wasn't even there to see it first-hand, but the stories man... Plus the fact that some fans can still go blind from the self-pleasuring after so many years. It's a thing of beauty. Unless it's the Old Skool wankers going blind, with their hairy palms and scary Beatle-cut comb overs...

Rambling aside, I was browsing the McCartney fan forums, and came across this exercise of hypocrisy and "interesting" debate. Warnings for sometimes very annoying signatures.

The short version for the lazy (because I am generous):
Random Fan1: OMG I found Paul bashing when I googled for "I hate yoko"!!! TEH PAIN!
Random Fans2&3: Umm, dude, hypocricy much?
One fan or two: OMG I HATE HER TOO!
Other fans: That's so not cool. And let's just ignore the Yoko issue plz~!

And then two board members start arguing back and forth but the damn jizz is in my eyes and I can't discern what they're trying to say anymore...

Incidentally, the OP doesn't make a peep.

Of course, if you follow the links to the offending site, there's a nice bit of juicy splurt too.

Extra offer: No fandom is complete without the Wacko Nutties and conspiracy theories and psychics, right? Look no further. Beware of the freaky pop-up flash. I don't know whether to be amused or afraid. *cries*

1:16am: Day After Tomorrow Wank
Over on the IMDB.com message boards, a seething hotbed of wank if ever there was one, someone posts an amusing message about how Jesus is responsible for global warming. It's humor, and at first people play along nicely.

But you know that won't last.

It's like shooting fish in a barrel. I'm almost ashamed of how easy wank is to find in that place.

8:53am: Old ickle David Wenham wank
After reading the Day After Tomorrow wank at IMDb, I was reminded of something I had found at another board over there, so I decided to see if it was still there, without things having been deleted. Sure enough, it was. Since I don't remember this being posted here, I'll post it now. It's kind of old, but, some of the comments are golden.

Someone posts a link to some pictures of David Wenham with his girlfriend Kate Agnew. There's the usual squeeage about how pretty she is. That is, until theperfectdrug1978 shows up and espouses her wisdom:

i dont think shes great looking, im way cuter. shes looks like modern dental help and cosmetic surgery and hair relaxers gave her some aid in looking half decent. otherwise she would look like a typical british wench from 1642. trust me, i wouldnt throw her to the posse. like i said, im a dyke, so i know she aint cute. maybe she should become bi sexual and increase her chances, cause that david wenham guy is wasting his time. hes way cuter than her, its just plain wrong. shes the lucky one.

That makes me laugh. Who knew that being a lesbian made you the ultimate authority on the beauty of women! Wait 'til I tell my Mama! She'll be so proud!

theperfectdrug1978 comes back again later with: i dont think shes that great, and i should know, im a dyke. i would say shes about half as good looking as half the population.

Isn't there a Jurisprudence law that gets broken by those comments?

Anyway. There's more sniping back and forth about how she's not that pretty and he deserves better!!!111, she looks older than him (yeah, and?), and a few voices of reason that are of course ignored.

Also, added points to the person who comes in with "My cousin used to date David Wenham. Before The Two Towers," and is fairly quickly shot down.

Anyway, it's old and it's wee, but I thought it was funny, so I decided to share it.

Have good holiday weekends, all.

9:44am: Qanonreip is in the eye of the beholder, or something.
In hpart, artimusdin posts Snape/Harry artwork (it's rated PG at worst, don't worry).

People make the usual "I lurve it!!oneBBQ11!" comments, until:

Saeva nitpicks a couple of things, like Harry's brown hair and Snape's "Asian" features.

Bring on the wank:

Constructive criticism means "only saying nice things"

Please disguise your criticism by sticking it at the end of a very long list of nice comments

You do realize that a professor would say worse things at art school, right?

Saeva then comments about it in her own journal and at hp_essays.

Artwank. Gotta love it.

11:19pm: "Case Closed" (Detective Conan) wank
This one hardly comes as a surprise. Detective Conan, one of the most popular series in Japan, had just been dubbed. The first dub episode aired on Adult Swim on Monday complete with a changed title, and changed names. A dub-only fan has shown up on detective_conan and spouted fangirlisms about how hot the (dub) voices are using only the Anglicized names In this thread enjoy a rant about how stupid the name change from "Detective Conan" to "Case Closed" due to copyright issues is, and death threats for not knowing the original names.

This is followed by another new dub fan who complains about being "pelted with Japanese torrents" and then says they will do whatever they can to keep the peace.

Finally the first rabid fan decides things are too quiet, so she must remedy things by posting every new tidbit that she finds online as news The regulars somehow don't seem impressed.

EDIT: Minor update, but there's a lovely thread rebuking the elitists for their treatment of the newbies and another in which the topic of spoilers comes up and someone protests against ghettoizing the fandom.