Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

10:34am: Hark! I hear the strains of the waaaaaaaambulance!
Yes, another fanfiction community report. Must be something in the water. And this is trying so hard to grow into a wank.

So there's this Suikoden community called Suikosnark that exists solely for the purpose of snickering at badfic, Mary Sues and other oddities in the fandom. Yeah, like deleterius and marysues and half a dozen others. Nothing new under the sun, right? It gets pretty wanky sometimes, but it's usually kept under ye olde friends locks. So that the spooge doesn't fly everywhere, you know, and we keep the tissues handy just in case.

A little while ago one of the unlocked posts were discovered and a few people got a little perturbed. While the original post itself was definitely wanky in some places (sorry, but I take all PWPs with a grain of salt), there was wank on both sides. Mild, though. It didn't go anywhere until a few members of an RP blog known as the Suikoden Comment Box discovered the community members' ff.net account names and issued a choice smackdown-except-not ( in which this member is accused of being a stalker, jealous of the RP members' 1337 writing ski11zorz, and a homophobe ).

Then they created an LJ community.

It's entitled "Snark the Snarkists!" and the aims are as follows: For all people who are sick and tired of (or just downright pissed at) all those self-righteous, condescending writers who rejoice in flaming and leaving so-called "constructive" criticism, this is the place to rant about it.

Nothing's happened so far, but the community was just created this morning. I have high hopes already.

ETA: And the first post brings wank. Wow, that wasn't completely predictable or anything.

4:23pm: Remember the Bulbagarden Mod Wank from a while back? Yeah, here's some more, but this time it involves another board as well.

Since I don't go to the other site, I'm really not 100% sure as to what exactly is going on, but evidently the guy who runs Serebii.net is blasting Bulbagarden for offering raw episodes, even though Serebii offers public support for #free_pokemon, which does just that.

So consequently, people who go to both sites are caught in the middle.

Perhaps some of you can decipher this thread. I know I sure can't.

4:47pm: HP Icon-Stealing Wank!
hp_freak2 at xanga.com (WARNING: DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT CLICK ON THE LINK IF YOU'RE ON DIAL-UP. IT IS EXTREMELY GRAPHICS-INTENSIVE) has apparently decided to hotlink every single HP icon that other people have made on their site.

This does not sit well with the icon-makers:

WHAT THE HELL? YOU'RE TAKING PEOPLE'S HARD WORK AND CLAIMING IT AS YOURS?! STEALING FROM LJ HP ICON COMMUNITIES, PSH. you're pathetic.

I'll even leave you a link where you can see how much you could be fined if just 1 of these icon makers chose to prosecute you.

IM goign to advise EVERYONE who makes Icons o copyright them. For, it's bandwidth stealing, and copyright infringement. And guess what, I KNOW some of those icons are copyrighted. And guess what my phone is next t ome and I shall be calling authorities in the next week.

[Yay! Icon copyright police! Forget those pesky original copyrighted photos you "stole" so you could make your "original" icon... /snide commentary]

I'm glad people are replacing their icons with ones that say what a loser you are. I'm particuarly fond of the porn one.

Some have even gone so far as to replace their icons with new ones featuring pithy little phrases, like:

I'm a foal [sic], loathsome, evil little cockroach, who has been stealing icons and claiming them as my own!

This icon ran away because the fucker who postedthis stole it claiming it was her's [sic]

P.S. - Should I be as amused as I am about the phrase "plantform [sic] 9 3/4" at the top of the page?

ETA: Here are some more comments on hp_freak2's LJ.

But wait, there's more:

An "apology" from hp_freak2 at the hp_icons comm

Go fck your mamma if you're SO bored

Aaaaaand the site's been shut down for going against Xanga's TOU.

7:21pm: Annnd bringing you your regular dose of Rammstein wankage is, as always, the Herzeleid.com Forum.

Wingaershek has looked up translations of lyrics and is mildly disturbed. Not about all the incest, necrophilia, rape, and pedophilia, you realize--it's the hermaphrodites and casual sex that really bug hir.

The forum rolls its collective eyes and goes about its business. But wingaershek feels compelled to keep posting... and posting... and double-posting... and insisting that s/he's being attacked. From there the wank is hard and fast, touching on everything from politics to autism to mods yelling "Shut the fuck up back there, kids, or I'm pulling over and we'll never get to Grandma's!" All in the concise space of three pages, whoopee.

9:14pm: An Exercise in Tedium (if you'll pardon the bad pun)
First timer reporting. I'm sure everyone knows the drill by now.

Before I begin the report, I feel the need to give a bit of backstory. Fire Emblem : Sanctuary of Strategy (FESS for short) is a rather well known forum where fans of Fire Emblem - an S-RPG series created by Nintendo - hang around. It's a pretty reasonable place, especially since this incarnation of FESS has mods that don't take shit from anyone.

As for the main attraction of the wank, you may remember him from this particular incidence. After this wank, he left FESS, claiming oppression from the other FESSers. FESS moved, and many older members who had left before return. Recently, TediusZanarukando returned. Older FESSers recognise him right off the bat, and proceed to mock him silly.

In his short stay at FESS, he manages to get on the nerves of other members. His insistence on killing off Tiltyu (Tailto) of FE4 whenever he plays the game immediately sparks irritance, as well as spouting off what was considered common knowledge to FE4 players. To fan the potential splooge, Adilink creates a topic to bait TediusZanarukando, which ironically turns into a serious topic. I'm sure there are more examples, but this is only the potatoes of the wank.

After a while, one of the moderators of FESS - I'm not clear who - bans him, on the grounds of TediusZanarukando's sexism and several other members dubbing him a "bot". TediusZanarukando goes crying to the Irregular Winds BBS (which has NOTHING to do with FESS whatsoever) about it, wherein the resident FESS Bitch-Mod Superbus lays the smackdown.

It's relatively small, but considering how wanky Fire Emblem fans can be, I'm expecting it to grow from here.

10:08pm: Deleted for ghastly formatting, bad links and all manner of horror.

10:25pm: Say not adieu, mon duckie
Those Ducks always manage to confound expectations. The wank dies not, even on a thread for an episode that aired two weeks ago.

By Page 7, the splooge of yesterweek has dried. All is peace and calm and sober retrospection. Until CAer psychofilly drops by for a civilized
chat.