Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

History

13th June 2004

2:30am: I don't know how to describe this...
Is it wank? Is it just bizarre? I'm not sure. Basically "malaysian porcupine" declares her fanatical undying devotion to Dash Mihok, a distinctive-looking but little-known actor. (You might recognize him from "Romeo + Juliet" or "Day After Tomorrow.") Apparently:

    I was thinking, do u lot think Dash could be like a religion, I worship him everyday and only live for him. I even have a small shrine dedicated to him in my room! :D
W. T. F? And then katsqueek1111 shows up. In all caps. Declaring malaysian porcupine to be a idolator and attempting to convert her to Christianity in SCREAMING ALL-CAPS:

    I HAVE FACED REJECTION MANY TIMES IN MY LIFE. AS A CHILD GROWING UP, FROM FAMILY AND KIDS, AND AS AN ADULT. I KNOW YOUR PAIN. LIKE I SAID IT IS FUN TO LIKE AN ACTOR, BUT ITS TEMPORARY, IN TIME YOU WILL WANT A MORE CLOSER ONE ON ONE CONTACT TO MEET THAT VOID IN YOUR HEART. THATS WHERE ONLY GOD CAN FILL.
malaysian porcupine immediately backs away smiling glassily. ("Don't make eye contact...doooon't make eye contact...") jriepl tells katsqueek1111 to OMGSTFU. Surprisingly, she does. It's short and bite-sized!
Current Mood: energetic
2:31am: Hate threads are beautiful
Graceskies posts this lovely thread in Fanfic_hate and the splooge hits the fan.

Hate threads are beautiful. But they don't go far enough.

It's time to take on the really overrated fics.

We know you're out there. You've been seething, wondering why The Fic is garnering raves. Every gushing review, every rec, every swooning fangirl of The Fic fills you with a deep, righteous indignation. Because you know it's terrible. You know The Fic sucks.

Now your time has come.

Tell the world why The Fic deserves to be burnt.

Spread the hate.


And they bring it in droves. Everyone's an Anonymouse and there's gratuitous abuse of the caps lock. Plenty of leaping off cliffs and slitting of wrists, enough to keep the whole family happy. Bring your splooge suit and have fun.

Thanks to samantha543 for the tip off. :)
Current Mood: annoyed
2:30pm: DOM IS SO UGLY
So, some girl claims how Dom is the ugliest ugly that ever uglied on metaquotes. Legions of brave brave people finally come out in replies and agree!

"Finally, someone speaks the truth."

"Oh, my lord - how I wish her post weren't locked, because I so very much agree. Not *so* much on Billy Boyd, who I think is cute (though not particularly hot), but Monaghan - I just. don't. get. it. Ugly Fugly McBugly, with poo on top. Funny? Sure. Good actor? Yeah. Attractive? Can I have some of what you're smoking?"

"I came here from metaquotes and I agree wholeheartedly with this assessment. Plus, he's cross-eyed. And has some rather peculiar vocal intonations. In fact, he is a male Juliet Stevenson."

And so on.

A link to it is posted on Domgasm to the said quote and fangirls laugh it off pretty much.

So, I make a post on my journal about it. The reason I didn't post this on [info]i_wank, is because I wasn't wanking in my mind. I was just saying what I think about beauty. I guess I should have said that it wasn't just about her comment but "Hollywood" standards. Hey, don't blame me I was sedated.

Weird comparisons are made, few people agree blah blah.

[info]voodoo_in_tx makes a post about how wonderful I am, and then alas! Someone shows up with the different opinion, finally.

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<a [...] way.">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

So, some girl <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/community/metaquotes/1197045.html">claims how Dom</a> is the ugliest ugly that ever uglied on <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/community/metaquotes/">metaquotes.</a> Legions of brave brave people finally come out in replies and agree!

<i>"Finally, someone speaks the truth." </i>

<i>"Oh, my lord - how I wish her post weren't locked, because I so very much agree. Not *so* much on Billy Boyd, who I think is cute (though not particularly hot), but Monaghan - I just. don't. get. it. Ugly Fugly McBugly, with poo on top. Funny? Sure. Good actor? Yeah. Attractive? Can I have some of what you're smoking?"</i>

<i>"I came here from metaquotes and I agree wholeheartedly with this assessment. Plus, he's cross-eyed. And has some rather peculiar vocal intonations. In fact, he is a male Juliet Stevenson."</i>

And so on.

A link to it is posted on <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/community/domgasm/">Domgasm</a> to the said quote and fangirls <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/community/domgasm/67897.html?nc=23">laugh</a> it off pretty much.

So, I <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/frodaish/137500.html?nc=27">make a post</a> on my journal about it. The reason I didn't post this on <lj comm="i_wank">, is because I wasn't wanking in my mind. I was just saying what I think about beauty. I guess I should have said that it wasn't just about her comment but "Hollywood" standards. Hey, don't blame me I was sedated.

<a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/frodaish/137500.html?thread=1338140#t1338140">Weird comparisons</a> are made, few people agree blah blah.

<lj comm="voodoo_in_tx"> makes a post <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/~voodoo_in_tx/60424.html?nc=7"></a> about how wonderful I am, and then alas! <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/voodoo_in_tx/60424.html?thread=169736#t169736">Someone shows up</a> with the different opinion, finally.

<i><a href="http://It's funny like you can get all pissed about something and simply overlook what she REALLY said in her post, and post "in reply" and in defence of that guy something that boils down to the same thing... Except you write it in a "half-full bottle" way while she did it in the "half-empty" way.">It's funny like you can get all pissed about something</a> and simply overlook what she REALLY said in her post, and post "in reply" and in defence of that guy something that boils down to the same thing... Except you write it in a "half-full bottle" way while she did it in the "half-empty" way.</i> ... etc in the link.

<i>"So, drop the fight if you want to give lessons about "hasty judgements". That's what you're doing to this girl."</i>

I am told to drop the "fight" :(

Rather small, but I think she will get frustrated that I am not wanking back. :)

<b>ETA</b>: Who's the lucky anon? :D

<i>Lantern jaw
Thinning hair
Pimply skin
Putty nose
Snaggly teeth
Nondescript eyes
Dumbo ears
Constantly mugging and showing off
Adequate actor, nothing more.

Does he exceed the sum of his parts? It's all down to personal opinion. I tend to think he doesn't. </i>
3:43pm: Because Everyone Knows Sex Appeal Ends at Fifty
Someone on the RottenTomatoes.com boards starts The Battle of the Hotties, a poll tournament to determine the sexiest male celebrity. A good time was had by all as they happily drooled over their lust object du jour and cast their vote with a gleeful squee and a click of the mouse.

But alas, wank found its way into the wet-pantied revelry. You see, in Round Three, Johnny Depp, the lust monkey of every girl old enough to fork her fingers and lock the bedroom door, was pitted against that paragon of British sexiness, Alan Rickman. Oh, how the spooge did flow.

When it becomes apparent that Mr. Rickman just might win the row, the Johnny fangirls explode. Accusations of ballot stuffing ensue. Cries of "BUT LIEK, HES SOO OLD and NOT TEH SEXXORZ" rise from the Depp contingent, who cannot seem to fathom the idea that a man north of fifty can be attractive. Threats of sockpuppetry fly.

Anram12 proposes that only those with 50+ post be allowed to vote. After all, it's hardly fair that people who just registered be allowed to join in.

The mod, Katie, responds with a slightly more eloquent version of PLZ die, Kthxbi.

The wank continues until the mod closes the thread early, tallies the votes, and declares Alan the winner. Johnny fans call her a loser bitch with no life. Ah, the irony.

Depp vs. Rickman in a Steel Cage
3:56pm: Warning for HP fans
No wank yet, but it's sure to start appearing as Jordan Wood is now in the HP fandom
11:24pm: It's Offical: All Gamer Wank Leads to White Wolf
I hang out in the Roleplayers LJ Community. It has a few little kerfuffles occasionally, but it mostly seems to exist to get RPG reviews, gaming logs, and general discussion.

Today, DJ Smeg reveals he Doesn't like the World of Darkness. )
Current Mood: relaxed
Current Music: Reflection -- Christina Aguilera -- Mulan soundtrack
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