Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

11:07am: How about some mild Deleterius wank?
cactus_wren posts a lovely Mary Sue with the characters Nezzie, Koki, Kibbles (yes, you read that correctly) and Ariel.
One of them is Elvin [sic] King Elrond's neice. Yay.
Overall it's a poorly spelled, nearly impossible to read story.

Someone slips the author a link to the thread.

Author pulls standard defenses:
1) "I have a disability so I can't be arsed to use spellcheck!"
2) "I like my story and you're all bitches!"
3) "Read the Bible and get some love in your hearts...if you have them!" (that was followed quickly by a "fuck all y'all" type post).

The author's Pit of Voles page changed rather quickly as well.

We also find out that since we don't like her fic, we must be Iraqis.

4:10pm: We have Girlfriend Wank at Friends of Josh Groban. Yes sirree, people are dissing on our hero's girlfriend... again. It goes something like this:

ilovejoshgroban: I hate January Jones!

everybody else: You horrible person, you're giving us a bad name! This thread will be locked soon!

NebularXplosion: OMG, how dare you threaten to censor somebody's feelings?!

everybody else: Shut up! She's giving us a bad name, do you hear? It's not as if we're so full of crazy that we don't need her help or anything!

Page One - outlined above

Page Two - the possibility is raised that Josh is gay. Because any pretty male celebrity with a girlfriend is automatically gay.

Page Three - singtomejosh breaks out the Capslock of rage.

Page Four - I invoke the name of fandom_wank, and nanapati pitches a boldfaced red-fonted fit.

4:32pm: Wank starts in fandom and heads out into the big wide world...
Some of this is quite old, but I don’t think any of it has been mentioned here before. I haven’t linked all the wanky threads because I seem to remember that, at one point, just about every other thread on this site was exploding into spooge and it was all pretty repetitive. On with the story...

Over at jonathanbrandis.org, a memorial site for the late actor Jonathan Brandis, the shit hit the fan earlier this year when shauri29 posted claiming to be a long-time friend of the actor and complaining that regular poster R Garcia, the actor’s old high school teacher and friend, is not entirely accurate in his representation of Brandis’ life (for the record, questioning of Garcia’s identity and his relationship with the deceased had apparently occurred previously at another Brandis site). The real furball starts a few posts later in the same thread, when Mona posts claiming that shauri was Brandis’ long-term (and long-distance) girlfriend at the time of his death. Several sceptical anonymous posts follow, including one by a Salda Marta Maka-Kyoo, supposedly Pacific Island royalty, claiming to have been engaged to Brandis before his death. The authenticity of everyone who claims to have known Brandis begins to be called into question. The community splits into three groups: sceptics, believers, and those who just wish everyone would shut up. All sides restate their points ad nauseam and complain that no-one is listening to them. More threads go up, in which there is much wailing and gnashing of teeth. At one point, a poster (see also this thread which, while on a different subject, is also rather wanky) more or less accuses the mod of taking bribes. Eventually the mod disables anonymous posting. The most vociferous of the sceptics, Elo, sets up her own Jonathan Brandis message board and proceeds to talk about very little except the jb.org debacle

But it doesn’t end there, me hearties! No, some time later another of Garcia’s former pupils appears on the board to defend him, and at some point Elo believes her honour has been called into question and reappears to defend herself. Sceptic/believer wank is born again!

The latest development is that someone has written an anonymous letter to Garcia’s school accusing him of paedophilia based on his posts at jb.org. And Elo? Not gloating at all.

7:10pm: The best and most beautiful Furuba wank EVER!!!!
One BIG ass spoiler about one of the main Furuba characters has been revealed in the manga...

And what's the deal?

Watch as the heads of rabid fangirls everywhere explode one by one!!!

And it's not over!

The people in the Furuba comm in LJ aren't thrilled either!

I do admit one of the theories formaulated in the LJ com makes some sense. But until THE truth is out there...

* suits up, sits on top of the Everest and grins as she sees how the splooge starts to take over the world *