Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

10:48am: Hellsing is SHOUJO! Look at this Incognito’s pic! He’s clearly fanservice for the ladies!
Anyone who is in Hellsing fandom has the pleasure to make acquaintance with the special individual that is glassdarkly. She has offered gems in the past like an hysterical rant about the dreaded possibility of IntegralxSeras, a hissy fit saying she would leave the community, evidence that YumikoxAnderson is teh canon, and a nazi icon flame war in one of her threads (just to say there’s not only pairing flamewars in Hellsing!). Pity all these were deleted.

Now she’s back with evidence that Hellsing is SO shoujo. But using Incognito as the so-called fan service for girls may not be her most brilliant move.

Enjoy the show! I mustered my self control to not wank! And I crave for gory Hellsing icon claiming that my fandom is shoujo.

7:45pm: HP wank- Don't Tell Me I'm Wrong!
Story time, kids!

This person posts a bitter 'ship rant that speaks out against intolerant shippers claiming their 'ships to be canon, when they are very obviously not. She goes on to tell us we're all allowed to like any pairing we please, as long as we never dare say it's canon when it's not expressly stated in the books themselves. Fair enough.

Ragdoll then claims that Canon Is All- except when Rowling makes a mistake in the books that disagreed with something she said in an interview. Oh well, math's not JK's strong point, but it's enough to bring the wrath of canon!whores upon her poor head.

The wankage really starts pumping (excuse me) when Blacksatinrose points out an eensy bit of hypocrisy on the original poster's part. Her obviously aggressive use of logic is then ignored, kicked in the throat, and shot at with a flame-thrower by some toady named tephra and the ANGRY GOD OF CAPS LOCK (Ragdoll again), who not only completely misses the point but also drags irrelevant information screaming and kicking into the argument of whether R/S is a valid ship, and how oppressed the non-R/S shippers are. Woe unto them.

The bitter hypocrisy is suffocating.

(I still want to know how BSR proved anything about R/S shippers, when she wasn't even talking about R/S to begin with. It looked to me like she was the most reasonable one out of all of them. Am I wrong?)

It's a small wank, sure, but I thought it deserved to be mentioned for the sheer WTF factor of some of the replies. Stay tuned for further developments.

ETA: That tephra person wallows in smugness for no apparent reason, and BSR bows out gracefully, thus ending the debate.

Or does it???

dun dun dunnnn.....

7:59pm: Sailor Moon Wank!
Long time reader, first time writing in.

Meet Princess Destiny, Fanfic Writer, Author, Editor, Webmistress, Publisher, Model, and Actress (capitalizations all hers). Once one of the biggest names in the fandom, her infamy grew because of, in her words, "the popularity of my Fanfic 'Spin The Bottle,'" and in everyone else's words, "her complete and utter inability to accept any form of criticism, particularly regarding that overbloated altar to mediocrity, 'Spin the Bottle.'" Princess Destiny and her ever-shrinking pool of diehard fangirls retreated to her (now ToSed by Yahoo) 87 mailing lists. Also, for the low, low price of $500 AUD (approximately $350 USD), she will design a website for you!

One day, Tsy Dom Nym stops by and remarks on her web skills in her guestbook:
"What an ugly site! Best viewed at 800x600? Please, who are you kidding? I wouldn't pay $5.00 for such a web design, let alone $500."

Princess Destiny blocks Tsy Dom Nym's IP and edits his original guestbook entry to say the following:
"What a great site! And so beautiful too :) You must have spent a lot of time and effort to make such a range of fanfiction for us all to read! Thanks a lot! I'd pay for you to design a site for me ANYTIME.

And it all goes downhill from there. Because the rest of the wank is a) partially deleted, and b) a pain in the ass to scroll through, the rest is presented in screencaps.

( OMG! Someone doesn't like my Crappy Website! )

ETA: Oh, look. Fangirl. Because apparently, one post wasn't enough to contain her rage.

10:03pm: Those crazy Tori fans...
Tori Amos 'fandom' now has their own version of fandom wank. Nothing compares to the real thing, of course, but there's lots of snark and making fun of Tori fans. And Tori fans are nuts, so there's plenty of ammunition. Even if I wish the people bitching would learn to type correctly. Still, it's a family-size bucket of mini-wank for all to enjoy.

They even got reported to LJ Abuse. Aww.

(I originally posted this in otf_wank because... Well. Mock me if you will.)

10:14pm: When you wish upon a wankstar, your wank dreams come true
The following has been provided by a kindly anonymouse. Enjoy!

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Awfully sorry, but couldn't find anywhere to post a wank request in this comm. Forgive me for slipping it in here, and hope it catches someone's attention.

It's about the further brave exploits of little_needle aka wankstar.

First of all, here's the the fairly recent fandom_wank about little_needle's hissy fit over Isiscolo, regarding the running of QuickQuote: http://www.journalfen.net/community/fandom_wank/441562.html

Isiscolo's account of the whole thing: http://www.livejournal.com/users/isiscolo/159427.html

This ended with needle's grand (announcement of) departure from HP fandom :
http://www.livejournal.com/users/little_needle/261237.html

However, she had NO intention of giving up HER ownership of QQ.
Oh, no, she will hold onto it like grim death. Instead of handing over the management to someone else, she proceeded to recruit several new editors, amongst them titti, electricandroid, and pogrebin, who worked like serfs to produce issue after issue under her demanding scrutiny (needle herself did not seem to do any work):
http://www.livejournal.com/community/quickquote/41279.html

Unsurprisingly, not long after, titti, electricandroid et al make their departure (which was done discreetly behind the scenes, but they have let drop comments in various journals), and so needle, despite going through a "cancer scare" announces a new set of serfs to do her work: http://www.livejournal.com/community/quickquote/50348.html

A veritable bundle of energy, she also starts a new "exclusive" community for Harry/Draco fics, and invites well-known writers to join: http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=seekertoseeker

The "cancer scare" turned out to be not cancer at all, and darn don't I deserve some paid LJ time for this?: http://www.livejournal.com/users/wankstar/34399.html

The writers at seekertoseeker comm duly post some of their old stuff in a desultory fashion. (As far as I know) no one has bleated about not being invited to this comm. However, needle senses some discontent, so here is her wonderfully wank-tastic ranty rant from today! (has been stealthily edited several times since it was first posted to tone down her initial rantiness though):
http://www.livejournal.com/users/wankstar/35122.html

Favourite quote - "I have never failed at anything before."
Sorry about the length, I hope someone can make sense of this messy post, and post a coherent wank. Many thanks.

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ETA: Awwwww...a little baby i_wank has emerged from the spooge.