Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

1:39pm: Who watches the Watchmen?
Obviously not Brad!

Yes, we have LJ abuse wank!

It all starts in THE Brad's journal itself, more specifically with this comment.

Yes, it appears that not even brad trusts lj_abuse! So of course, abuse_lj_abuse begins praising Brad. All Hail Brad!

But within the comments there, the wank begins! With ghostlight and druid_va going at it, and an ex-LJ Abuse team member shows up to express her displeasure, which even brings out the spelling/grammar wankers.

Also, tangentially related to the LJ-Drama/SALJ wank, since SALJ members show up on Brad's journal to add their two cents.

2:23pm: George Lucas and the Wank of Ages
So the other day, George Lucas gives an interview regarding the new SW DVD set. It contains this quote:

"The thing about science-fiction fans and `Star Wars’ fans is they’re very independent-thinking people. They all think outside the box, but they all have very strong ideas about what should happen, and they think it should be their way. Which is fine, except I’m making the movies, so I should have it my way."

LJ user spacedowtjedi posts it to the starwars community, saying:

Here's what I hate : HES RIGHT, SO RIGHT. It's his stuff, he should do what he wants, I know in his position I WOULD
The flipside, If feel just as strongly for certain things to remain 'sacred' Or changes that shouldn't have happened.
I think I will now remember this quote, try to use it whenever I get upset about something. As much as we feel it's OURS , It's also his..

Naturally, people disagree. Well, mostly petshopboy1983:

I am sick of this line of horseshit that they are his movies and he can fuck them up if he wants. What a cop out. They are not really his movies. The only reason he has any money to tamper with them in the first place is becase WE payed for it. At worst we are stock holders, executive producers at best.
Grow some balls, fanboys. The ladies find it appealing.

And of course, more wangst over how much right George has to alter his own movies. Because god forbid we just be resigned to this by now.

3:00pm: You're destroying fledgling authors, you bitches!
Yes, deleterius wank again!

A new user appears. User is obviously a troll. User posts a story about how Deleterius members destroy young authors' hopes and dreams in the community.

There's all the usual lessons from Troll school: Deleterius members are obviously ugly, can't get laid, and geeks who know what Tolkien would have wanted written in fanfiction- the same accusations the troll makes in her LJ bio.

You'd think they'd at least come up with original accusations.

3:03pm: Rival Schools, United by WANK!
The Rival Schools fandom isn't that big, but it can wank pretty well when given the chance. So, here we go!

In the RS Network, there was once a group of kids who thought that a possible romantic relationship between Yurika Kirishima (a sweet-faced violinist who is so prim and proper that she puts Michiru Kaiou to shame, and is also the older sister to one of the main villains) and Akira Kazama (a former biker chick who is also one of Yurika's closest friends) is not a bad idea. ( Spoilers for the Seijyun ending )

And of course, the Akira/Yurika discussion is featured in the RSN board...

And there's when the wank starts.

( Faithful representation of the characters: I'm the only one who can do that! Kiss my toes, bitches! )

***

( Charles RB and Voidstar joke about it... )

( The wank between Charles, VS and the others starts to slowly flow... )

***

( Bitch bitch bitch, nag nag nag. Charles v/s Snowstorm, round 1, fight! )

***

( Snowstorm says, SEX is EVOL!!! Because it interfers with JUSTICE!!! )

***

( Void Star and Snowstorm LOVE to play table tennis with each other's ideas, ne? * sits close to them with popcorn* )

***

( VS calls it quits for the moment. And look at Snowstorm's reactions! )

***

EDIT: Forgot to post this GEM:

( Snowstorm, the Great Defender of RS Het!!!! Watch her as she twists canon info to make it fit into her La-La Land!!! )

Between Snowstorm's phobia to slash and sex in general, delusions of the RS people being SO PERFECT that thy can't be tainted by any human feelings like selfishness, and claims to be one of the VERY FEW persons capable of writing "faithful" fics, I'm feeling dizzy. In the words of Kuradoberi Jam from Guilty Gear: "Isn't there a kind (wo)man around who'll lend me his/her shoulder?"

7:04pm: Gives "spirit fingers" a whole new meaning...
One of the last of the original Bagenders, Little Sam, has allowed a statement to be posted to Turimel's journal to give some more insight into the hobbit channeling and ( You are not gonna believe this... )

( And then there was Abbey... )

Jesus fucking Christ on a Wheat Thin, the rest of the story gets even worse. Seriously, go look at it yourself. Warning: sporfle alerts.