Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

8:00pm: We may be small, but we're still wanky
First wank posted, be gentle, etc. Wank still ongoing, but amusing. QAF-US fandom.

It starts when revenentrose, a Brian/Michael shipper, posts a long, long essay on her journal discussing "how can they get rid of Ben and Justin? Which, of course, will naturally lead to Michael and Brian falling into each other’s arms." She posts the link around and asks for comments from Brian/Justin and Ben/Michael shippers.

Wank ensues on the original thread, proving yet again that people really can argue the exact same question nonstop for four years without getting tired of it for an instance.

My personal favorites:

How old is old?: Do you honestly think Brian at... what? 32?... is ready to "grow old gracefully?" Or to grow old at all? He's 32, not 82 for Christ's sake! How the fuck old do you think 32 is?

A defense? Now why would I need one of those: As for a defense of B/J... I don't need one. They are together. The only "defense" of their relationship that I need will be in the final 13 episodes of the show, coming to Showtime sometime in the Spring of 2005.

Just keep those uncircumstandtial B/Jers jumping like bugs: And obviously contains some things that B/Jers feel the need to analyze down to the tiniest detail, since they jumped it like bugs to a bright light, so I think you hit the right notes. ;) I've enjoyed reading their varying opinions, though deluded and uncircumstandtial at times.

But post-it note babies are good!: Typically when I click on links I end up pulling out my hair, wondering WHY, GOD WHY?!! But not today. :D I love this post. I want to cuddle it, marry it, and have its little post-it notes babies.

Put that brain away and you too can appreciate the pretty!: Oh, noooo! You've gone over to the dark side! Lol, j/k I agree with you on a shallow level. I enjoy B/J, too, sometimes. Like I told somebody else, if I leave my brain by the wayside I enjoy B/J very much.

So which is it going to be? Deep thoughts? Or fanfic?: B/J shippers have more fanfic, and B/M shippers have more deep thoughts. Er, posts about B/M. I've not seen any pro-B/J posts that elaborate beyond, "So, what was your favorite B/J sex scene?"

Both sides are happily wanking away. Enjoy.

8:44pm: Rules are for LOSERS.
tipgardner seems to think that he(?) is doing a favor to fanfiction communities by posting on them, and therefore should crosspost to every community on LJ but not follow specific community posting rules, y'know, 'cos it wouldn't be fun anymore.

[Just for the record, everyone's being super-sweet in the comments. It's the post itself that amused the heck out of me. Enjoy.]

8:56pm: Mmmm.. spam.
At fanficrants, i_am_spam informs the masses "YOU HAVE NO SPLEEN!"

People poke the troll.

He then Posts a rant meant to draw flames.

People are, for the most part, polite.

Okay!

10:09pm: In a rather fanatical subsection of the LotR fandom are the Elf bodice rippers. For whatever reason several of the writers insist upon using whole phrases of Elvish in their stories. This creates a problem because
a) the languages are incomplete and
b) because they are imaginary.
Enter orchydconstantyn formally of the cut throat Sailor Moon fandom and prolific writer of almost unreadable sop. Some of you may remember her from when she was booted off an archive after her husband made threats to people who hurt her feelings:

I thought I left behind this schoolyard shit in the fucking schoolyard.

If I ever find out which one of you motherfuckers has reduced my wife to tears, you will wish that I killed you. And don't you fucking think for an instant that I am not deadly serious. As you may suspect, Orchyd is very important to me, and anyone who hurts her in even the slightest way is therefore my enemy.

Italics mine, bold Erik's - lest there be confusion about the intent of the innocuous "anti-death threat" he made. Wank on.


EDITED TO ADD

Of course we wouldn’t be here at all is either side knew how to just. Let. It. Go.

There’s a new RPG/”humor”? community being desperately advertised as “We don’t care about this!” “Still don’t care!” Though at least one character that seems to be a slap in the general direction of crazyca. But all this "join my new community! proove we don't care!" stuff - orchyd might as well have posted a big sign demanding people pick sides.

Then there are those who rush to aid poor orchyd - Though a dictionary might be useful here. First word to look up: Bully. Second? Ascend.

Those veterans of the first Eriklebleu death threat will be happy to know the husband has weighed in. He's helpfully defined spite vs. hate, quoting Machiavelli, comparing Orchyd to Galileo, Joan of Arc and Iraq and or Saddam Hussein (note to Orchyd: You might suggest to hubby that he stop “helping” you. He’s making your side look even more insane. Unless of course you agree wholeheartedly with everything he wrote – in which case, wank on!), proving once again that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

( Warning for LONG and CRAZY - this one's been simmering )

10:33pm: This is the Wank That Never Eeeeeeeends...
More stupid from The Org.

And you thought it only happened to badfic authors...

NemoSperry: HEREZ MAI VIDEO GUYZ W&R PLZ!
Bubblehead: Um, wasn't that great a video. Here are some things you could fix...
NemoSperry: OMG UR FLAYMING MEEEE! IF U DUN LIEK MAI VIDEO, GO KEEL URSELF!!1111two
Rest of the Org: Er...WTF?

Unfortunately, the mods locked it, so Nemo will have to get rid of his self-righteous hard-on elsewhere. *snaps fingers* Dang.