Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

12:40am: Yes Virginia, there even is Naruto wank...
Low and behold, with the creation of http://www.narutofan.com 's message boards comes with it multiple instances of wank. Where to begin? So many good choices!

Killer_UK makes a post in the Misc. Section about why FUNImation is a horrible dubbing company.

S/he writes:
it is just me or is this stupid american company eating away at all the good animes japan are churning out. i mean wot the hell is goin on?!?!?!
we're lucky that those bastards aint taken naruto yet, but come on other good anime are gone now

Hard to believe that s/he is ONLY 18.

Baka_San on page two of the post brings in from left field the infamous 4-kids entertainment dubbing company.

4kids should be shot. They just butcher everything they get their dirty little hands on. Bastards...

More wank ensues-- including Hinatalovesme getting defensive over Killer_UK making nasty comments about Hinata and taking it personally. Definitely keep your eyes peeled on this one...


The other selection(s) that I have brought to attention today are from the Fanclub section of the Narutofan forums. In theory, the Fanclubs were supposed to be for your favorite characters, but there are multiple character bashing threads. Mods haven't done anything yet, so I'm patiently waiting for when the Pro-character and Anti-Character people meet up and have posting wars.

The Anti-Sasuke Fanclub" is lead by TheMadFish who character bashes Sasuke and manages to get 13 followers to follow his lead-- complete with the cute graphic of:


The anti-sakura fanclub"> is lead oddly enough by Uchiha_sasuke and definitely is the wankiest of the three.

This is a group for ppl like me who think Sakura Haruno is a hell-a-annoying character up to the point where you want her to be killed off from the series in the most horrid of ways. -- Uchiha_sasuke

Maybe i can get the mood up a bit?
DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE SAKURA!--Mattan

Addy wants to kill her off:
man.. i wonder what type of fitting death she should get. Any thoughts?

There's also a slight Pro-Anti-Sakura post war on that thread as well. Some posters try to make sense of the situation by posting thoughts that are atleast neutral and intelligent (ie: Sakura has so much potential, and I've been waiting for her to have more of a role in the saga - post on page 4).

Alas, this is just a few of the MANY semi-wanky moments.

6:44am: They just can't let go...
Fandom_Scruples Update!

Now they're whining about how isolated those with conservative values are in the world of fandom.

*gets out world's tiniest violin*


...Does this wank qualify as a beaded dead horse yet?

10:27am: Leaky Cauldron Rocks the Vote
In Harry Potter Fandom, The Leaky Cauldron posted Declare Yourself to Vote, a stirring call to the November polls. Predicably, along with the "Thanks Leaky Cauldron!" comments, some fans have their robes in a bunch and are protesting the post. Someone complains that "everyone knows these efforts will bring out more votes for Kerry," while others maintain that Harry Potter fans are made up from politics of all stripes, even the "book-burning Republicans."
( Seductive Highlights )

This Declare Yourself to Vote post has garnered a respectable 465 comments as of this post. Read, and enjoy the blessed release.

3:50pm: Damned Dirty Zombies
This one's an easy one (and a little one) - Shaun of the Dead wank via IMDB.

It starts with the seemingly innocuous question:

"Any Americans seen this yet? How well will it be received?"

OP asks this, because apparently his American girlfriend doesn't get the humor.

It stays polite for a surprisingly amount of posts. Then, just under a quarter of the way down, much like blood in a zombie movie, the splooge begins to splatter.

( Some highlights include: )

Which then turns into politiwank, American-vs-British culture, materialism in film making, American-vs-British humor, etc. Note the amount of people who start their threads with, "I am an American and I..."

IMDB. It's like shooting fish in a barrel of splooge, in a way.

P.S. Come for the wank, stay for the trivia.

6:04pm: George Lucas vs. the Stormtroopers
Look - another wanky article!

Highlights:

The opposition to Mr. Lucas' changes shows how far America has slipped off its foundation -- the idea that the individual has inalienable rights -- and is teetering on the brink of the sort of evil Galactic Empire that he imagined for the silver screen.

Not surprisingly, intellectual property thieves have found their champion in a Libertarian, who wrote: "As far as the morality of [stealing] Lucas' movie goes … [i]f destroying art means making more of it available in more pleasing versions, then I say let the destruction begin."

There is a word for this philosophy -- fascism.

The oppressive state depicted in Mr. Lucas' Star Wars -- the dreaded Empire -- has already had its day on earth. In fact, they had the last century, the bloodiest known to man, dominated by National Socialists and Communists. As witnessed in Germany and in Russia, tyranny typically begins with censorship. And censorship begins with the extermination of the individual's right to create, speak and write.
The evidence is unmistakable and it is everywhere, from government intervention in speech on talk radio, politics and the Super Bowl to efforts to eradicate sex, guns and cigarette smoking from music, television and movies. The assault on George Lucas' right to Star Wars is the latest example; it demonstrates that, when the state restricts speech, the mob will not only oblige -- it will offer suggestions.

Oh boy.
I don't know what to say.
Apart from
Get over yourself!

7:26pm: An anon requested S*P wank
In the Something Positive webcomic there was a recent storyline where main character Davan broke up with his girlfriend Branwen when she got a dream job in Canada.

( Read more... )



Icz

10:56pm: OMG! Yuri wank! :O (found link on rabidfanssuck on LJ)
Why do guys obsess about penis in yuri? Here, let me give you a completely bullshit explanation!

It's tiny, but Orin_Quon is doing a fine job of wanking himself into a big hole with his dick worshipping.

Someone'll probably post something about this tomorrow, but after reading the forum itself...I think there was already a bunch of wank going on even before Orin whipped out his dick opened his mouth.