Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

2:21am: Bana-wank. I'm so proud... I think.
Typically, Eric Bana fans are a fairly un-wanky lot. For the most part, they seem to respect his wife, think his kids are cute, and just generally fangirl the man, write slash about him, and laugh at his impressions. I've found it to be a happy fandom for a nice guy, except when a rabid ViggOrli writer will start in on a Banalando writer for no real reason except Eric is getting in the way of the Other One Twuu Wuv. (Let me tell you, it was a fun time when the pictures from Cannes started rolling in.)

Of course, that all changes when you step into the IMDb.

Back in July, in between the two denials that he was the next James Bond, it was announced that Eric's been cast in the now-delayed Spielberg film Vengeance. The boards for Vengeance are a cesspool of wank, so I won't even bother to post that all here.

Over on Eric's boards, the fangirls are mostly squeeing, playing six degrees of separation and generally playing nice, until boss_xkr8656 asks "I wonder if Eric Bana is a Jew Because he is playing a Mossad agent in Spielberg new picture".

This thread was started in July, and they're still going strong.

Some of my favorite quotes.

"He's not a jew. He'z Croatian if I recall" - because you can't be both! Never never!

Following that little discussion.

PatrynXX says "That kinda question is always anti jew."

Brevity_thing responds "You're being ridiculous (as you perhaps know.)"

And they're off.

A few people try to at least get the conversation back onto Eric Bana, but it does little good. It seems that the last post on the page (from a day ago) was the capping off point, but as with everything at the IMDb, it's never really over, and we all know that.

2:47am: How critiquing a fanfic is like flying a plane into the WTC
This one is sort of hard to trace back to the roots, but however it started it's certainly wanky. It seems to have started when Urd-chan heard that one of her fanfics was being discussed on a forum and getting less than favorable reviews. Criticisms were exchanged, someone got banned from the InyashaEcchiFanfics Yahoo Group People begin arguing over what makes a flame and what is just constructive criticism while several members post in spite of fears of being banned for not agreeing with everyone else. Next thing you know Urds fanfic gets another less than favorable review by No-tUrd and ( Urd compares bad reviewers to terrorists )

Which, believe it or not, offends some people.

One entire exchange gets posted in a livejournal including Urd's email in which I'm pretty sure she not only demonstrates an amazing ability to TOTALLY miss the point, but she also manages to say the exact opposite about who flamed who when and where when compared to ( a post on yet another of these ridiculus yahoo groups )

More than a few members leave the group with a scathing message to mark their passage:
Subject: STFU MOFO

And now the owner of the InuYashaEcchiFanfic yahoo group is repeatedly threatening to delete the group, only to back off and scold the members instead:
Subject: Re: [InuyashaEcchiFanFics] STFU MOFO
Warning: Shit Ahead. Wear esential protective gear.

I have one thing to say to you Saya. PISS off.

I am FUCKING sick of all the goddam crybabies on this list. EVERY time something happens on the list they come crying to me instead of trying to take care of the issue themselves.


ETA. Yet more of the wank, this time some of the backstory of the person banned and falsely accused of flaming. These entries are copied out of the new Urd hate group on LJ with permission.

Numisma replies to Urds message on IYED-Art in which Urd states that she has no reason NOT to believe Numisma was the one to post the flame, therefore Numisma is guilty.

and a second email reply to Urd's public posts on that group, neither of which ever got a reply

5:30am: Thunder, Thunder, THUNDERBRATS! HOOOOO!
Background info:

The Thundercats fandom has a long history of fights, flamewars, and generally uncivilised behaviour. It's a seriously titchy fandom, and a scarily volatile one. In years past, flames and mockery have been mainly reserved for people who were blatant trolls, wankers, or assholes, but lately the fandom's elite inner circle has turned on itself. Two days ago, the building tension climaxed, released, and exploded into a fury of scraping claws and flying fur - and the final battle was not in the form of a popularity contest or furry shipper discussion, but rather an abortion debate.

Demonprist is the fandom's token whiny socialist. She's 30, she lives with mummy, and her favorite pastime is rambling ad nauseum about how simply terrible it is to be poor, clinically depressed, and living in a patriarchal capitalist country. All together now. Ewww.

At some point, she got into a disagreement with Cheezey, the undisputed queen of the Thundercats fandom. The spat seems to have originated in email, but for reasons unknown, Cheezey responds by posting the following rant as a public post on her livejournal, in which she shreds Demonprist's email line for line and manages to turn a discussion about voting into a personal soapbox rant about why all women who have abortions are evil, irresponsible murderers. She expands on this in the comments section. Some evil would-be abortionists have their babies adopted, in which case they are volatile nutsos who will waste all the adoptive parents' emotional and financial investments by ruthlessly demanding the babies back, just when the taxpaying parties in the equation have got the little bastards all nicely kitted out in Baby Gap. Or they keep them, in which case they're Evil Welfare Queens popping out tax guzzling future drug dealers at the expense of ordinary, decent, hardworking Americans. But it's okay, people. Cheezey has the answers. Keep your legs shut, you bunch of skanky, loser hos.

Not long after the original post, Purrsia joins the fray. Purrsia is well known in the Thundercats fandom for being self righteous, bitchy, and a rightwing screwball, not to mention one of the biggest flamewar provocateurs on the internet, so it comes as no surprise when she sees Cheezey's post and eagerly seizes the opportunity to post a seven page tirade attacking Demonprist, liberals, Kerry supporters, and the entire pro-choice movement. And the fact that she has her tongue firmly embedded in Cheezey's ass is a bonus, one imagines.

At this point, a few other fandom regulars jump in, one to lend yet more support to the pro-life voices, and another to simply poke fun at Demonprist while managing to avoid the abortion argument entirely.

The flamewar rages on for 45 posts, including a Demonprist Pity Party Translation Guide, more painfully simple minded snark from Purrsia, and a random tangent about ADD.

Finally Demonprist comes along to hold her original ground. She rants on for four pages, then concludes her argument by chastising Cheezey for posting publicly in the first place.

Cheezey's husband and Purrsia step in to take a few cheap shots at Demonprist before Cheezey returns and responds to Demonprist's four page rant with a seven page rant of her own.

Purrsia quickly drops back into her customary sycophantic cheerleader mode, whilst Demonprist retreats to her own LJ, to make a public post whining about other people making public posts whining about her.

This is the kind of wank that makes your own fandom look blissfully sane.