Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

8:24am: Invader Zim waaaaaaaahnk
On LJ community invader_zim weeniemuffin asks:

ok, so whats with all the irken porn?

do you people actually get off to it? its disgusting. sure, whatever floats your boat, but come on, can't it be something real that floats your boat?

why can't you just like the show without twisting the images into something horribly wrong and just disgusting?

am i all on my own thinking this?

And the spooge, naturally, starts rolling.

A few highlights:

twistedrecesses: "When Bush turns this country into a Christian nation, you might find a job with him."

OP: "the point of having an immagination is to expand your mind, not fantisize about little gren men fucking."

norvegicagives a long reply about the variety of human kinks that are out there which generates a seperate snark-thread between her and the OP ... leading to this priceless gem from the OP: "yes, critical thinking happens in california, but we think about intelligent things, things that are useful."

*SNERK*

Care Bear porn is cited.

And finally, after the wank appears to settle over night, the OP closes out with a classic waaaaaah you're all meanies and I'm leaving forever whine!

Ahh... delicious spooge.

10:05am: How about some...
After the Ashlee Simpson lip syncing fiasco last night, the entire internet is laughing... So I present thee with Ashlee Simpson wank... involving... Ashlee Simpson :D

http://www.ashleesimpsonmusic.com/community/Topic.asp?assetid=942266&artistname=Ashlee%20Simpson&artistid=488&title=Get+your+jabs+in+now

First post, be gentle, use lube when you have to...

6:15pm: Last night, VH1 showed a program called "The 50 Most Awesomely Bad Songs Ever," chronicling some of the really stupid yet somehow catchy songs that have come out over the years.

People decide to engage in intelligent debate on the subject.

It's not so much one long wank as a collective of people being, um, rather uncivil in their counterarguments.

(Wow, I'd put in "a collective of a number." I am such a member of the Redundant Department of Redundant Redundancies.)

8:16pm: Flashlights and Frottage... as only HP could bring it
*warning: first wank and still laughing, so slight incoherence may be ahead*

Now we already know what a horny calm bunch those in the HP fandom are, (self included), but nothing gets us all worked up like some good Het/Slash bash. Now is no different!

slytherincess was checking out frotting_goodhp and found these rules. Enter reaction wank.

When she found the community wasn't het frottage friendly, the caps lock abuse begins as she rants about sexual stereotypes, eighteen buttplugs?!, how hot het is, and gives us the wonderful quote:

Get a mirror, get a flashlight, introduce yourself to your own effin' vagina, and become friends.

Not too much at the moment, but it's lovely, and knowing us in the fandom... this baby'll grow. *grins*

8:31pm: Meanwhile, in Apt 302...
Over at the GameFAQs message boards, someone asks of Silent Hill 4: The Room:

I got the demo for this game and got to the part where{[[[SPOILERS]]]} spoiler deleted for teh sensiteeeve I don't want to buy the game but want to know what happens. So if anyone could summarize the story and why the guy is locked in the room and who did it I would be very happy. Thanks.

Kinda asinine, considering there are FAQs and walkthroughs on a place called GameFAQs. However, the first response there is a doozy:

why should we tell you if you are saying that the game that we enjoy is not worthy of your xbox?

And it only goes downhill from there, bringing in state test scores (not even SATs, apparently they're all too young), Walter thinking the room is his Mom, a particularly funny screw up in an explanation of the game (don't read if you don't want to be spoiled/confused, or aren't at *least* half-way through yet), and many bouts of an "I've been here longer than you, Nyah!" pissing contest.

And fun was had by all, except for poor Henry, who doesn't have the internet and can't get out of his fucking apartment (and even if he *did* have internet, it'd probably be all haunted anyway. Walter'd probably set naked pictures of himself as the desktop, the freak).

10:23pm: RMA Wank? Who'd knew?
A little wank over using LJ cuts in Ohnotheydidnt. What do they want cut?

Who the performers are in the RMAs, evidently. Because the poor West Coasters want to be kept in suspense, or something.

The mind boggles.

11:24pm: The wank is still out there. Cue theme music!
The Haven Board is a spot known throughout the world internet as the home of XF wank. Their show is long since over, but wank remains.

Apparently, the mods decided to get rid of the MSR folder, home to a certain clique group of fans. The MSR bunch has been shuffled over to the Coffee Clutch, the board’s off topic-folder and home to another elitist group of fans. Tensions have been mounting, and by golly, Oz! has had enough of the MSR fans’ excessive posting in her territory.

Within, you will find hilarity of the “Help, help, we’re being oppressed!” type, debate over whether or not joking about Satan is cool, pushy elitist bitches, the assertion that bad grammar = “rape and butchering”, angerballism, "If you don't like it, don't read it. Nyah!", English as a second language wank, and the gratuitous use of oversized text.

( we will not tolerate colonization! )