Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

7:46am: Because the wank spilled over to this community...
sashwizzled posts to fanficrants the following:

Dear fangirls,

There are more important things in the world than fanfiction and the people who write it, believe it or not.
So, when you all stump together (using money that could be feeding your kids, feeding yourselves or possibly, God forbid, going toward Third World countries) to buy expensive computer equipment for your favourite fanfiction author just so that she can keep writing your favourite fanfiction... Zarrah's brain melts.

It may be the Christmas season, but dude. Think about it. If this person didn't write fanfiction, would you give a damn?

No love,
Zarrah

Disclaimer: Yes, this is about Cassie Claire. Yes, I do know Cassie Claire was robbed and that's why people are doing it. No, this does not change my opinion.

At first, it wasn't really that bad. No one was really vehement, mostly people just agreed or disagreed politely and stated reasons why or gawked at the whole thing. Eh, except this comment.

But, then Cassie herself visits the thread and things start to get a little ugly.

Honorable mention wank: Have you ever been robbed?

Yes, I participated in the thread, but I wasn't part of the wanky bits. Thusly it was not posted to i_wank.

8:01am: Countess, meet your Prince Alarming
If you are a SWF, freakishly thin, with unusual hair color and pretensions of royalty, consider becoming the bride in Christ of Jeffrey Paul Rose. Since the unfortunate kidnapping of Ericka Ashley Visconte Hohenzollern-Sigmaringen, Princess of Romania, the position seems to be open.

It seems that in addition to being an American college student, Ericka is an heiress of the House of Caradja, only child of Lady Ana (a Romanian embassy official) and Nicholas (a CIA agent), is a pretender to the throne of Romania. Her alluring vitals:

Name: VISCONTE, Ericka Ashley
Date of Birth: 12 September 1984
Place of Birth: Unknown (possibly Rochester, NY, USA)
Height: 5'10" (178cm)
Weight: 95-105 lbs (43-47 kilos) ; thin bones; ring finger: size 4
Hair: White-blond(e) [natural "strawberry" highlights (slight)]

Need I mention, after providing these personal statistics, that Ericka is also fictional? This inconvenient fact has done nothing to dampen Jeffrey's very honorable ardor:

Jeffrey's true and Christian love has been gushing forth in torrents all over the Web and Usenet for the past several years. Jeffrey doesn't just spam, he spams macaronically, sometimes in a combination of English, Romanian, and Latin, to the most unlikely places (Fiber Arts Discussion Board? The Swiss Sports Portal?) So hermetically sealed is Jeff's world that it's nearly impossible to figure out where the wacky all started. Nearly, but not impossible.

First clue is in the epic chat transcript ascribed to Holly, who is, confusingly, the princess's lady's made, but also apparently an ordinary person with the handle Anastacia. Holly is from Ireland and so, naturally, types with an Irish brogue (warning: keep eye drops handy, it burns). Second clue is in this online diary post.

Yes, this seems to be a case of Ultima Online gone terribly, horribly wrong. More wrong than it is already, even. Anyone out there want to put me and Jeffrey out of our misery and confirm this? Anyone want to send the poor boy a Translyvanian cookie?

11:39am: Please read, fellow and sister fandom_wankers, and love me and despair
Okay, it's time for the quarterly Reminding of Certain Rules. One in particular has come up several times in recent weeks, and while we really wish this wasn't necessary, the mods feel that it's important to emphasize this one in particular:

Do not take things encountered here on Fandom_Wank -- or any wank communities at JF, for that matter -- off-line. Do not call the people being wanked, do not attempt to interact with them, do not contact their friends/workplace/et cetera, do not track down and post personal information about their real life. I'm not going to single out any members here, sorry, the point of this post isn't to embarass anyone, but here's a relatively minor example of an anon suggesting it. Granted, this is just a suggestion, but there have been more egregious examples of actual F_W members actually claiming to have done it -- which is the real problem.

This, along with the "no spamming in an attempt to crash the server" is one of the few absolutely essential rules here. With only the single exception mentioned below, there is no grey area here. Over and above the extreme wankiness of doing so, it leaves ZR and Robin and Journalfen open to potential liability issues. As such, this is one of the few zero-tolerance rules here. Therefore, if any member of F_W takes things encountered here off-line, they will be summarily banned, no questions asked. This applies even to people who just claim they did in a comment, because we're not going to do the probably-impossible research to ascertain whether you did or didn't. If you think you're gaining popularity points by posting about it even when you didn't, we have no problem with taking you at your word. We're here to laugh and mock, not harass people. Since F_W is a very loosely run selfmodding community, most rule-breaking will only get mocked and jeered at by other non-mod members. This one, however, could easily lead to actual RL consequences for the owners and community and the wankers themselves, so we're taking it very seriously. However, these people can take their case to fw_debate if they choose. Just a warning: we won't see the humor of it, so "I thought it was funny" won't be considered a valid excuse.

To clarify one point: just being accused by a wanker is no evidence at all. We're gonna ignore and probably mock unsubstantiated accusations, cause, let's face it, wankers are wanky, and a good many of them hate fandom_wank and its members, so we're going to go with the "innocent until proven guilty" perspective there.

One obvious exception: as has happened in a recent wank, a person being wanked could initiate off-site and off-line issues. At that point, F_W rules are obviously trumped by personal privacy and safety considerations, and you are quite justified in doing what you feel is necessary to protect yourself IRL. Also worth mentioning are the more innocuous issues, such as charity donations -- as have appeared in a recent thread -- and the like. These are, barring special circumstances, obviously in a different category.

( In a feeble attempt to make this seem shorter... )

10:11pm: Sex and the Wank
First time poster

Anyway it seems that even series that don't air anymore can keep ebing wanked.
I present you satc_icons a community filled with every icon desire.
Sadly lately it has also been the breeding grounds of some "disagreements" based on spoilers, icons and off-topic material.

First sparklediamant asks herself and us
"A few posts back, someone was kind enough to post their creations, one of them including Big's identity. Now, I realize that not everyone has seen the last episode (myself included). I understand that people are trying to not find out details so that it will be fresh when they watch it."

And than dear akaleia start off the wank..
Instead of replying in the thread she just makes a new posts in the comm itself, very nice
come on..

So now it starts and we get nice little posts like this:
"I hate to see someone's panties in a wad over something so silly."
Refering to This nice little comment

But than missandrony replies in the post with: "I mean, unless you're looking for a specific ep so you can make icons, last time I checked, this is still an icon community." and is rewarded by a snarky response.

And than they solve the problem by setting up a satc_drama specially for the likes missandrony who are considered the bad seeds while it was clearly dear old akaleia who started the wank.


A small wank but very funny
Seeing that all the while akaleia uses one of the "hated spoiler" icons in question.


Update: It seems that akaleia is so over the whole wank. That she needed to comment on missandrony journal....

Now deleted it said something like
"I am so over it...." Yet she posted a quiz result and continued with the threads
Can someone please look up if the girl is even old enough to legally watch SatC? Her mental state makes me doubt if she is even old enough to watch these shows.

11:39pm: F_W Debate Wank!
C'mon, someone had to post it!

iczer6 asks if it's okay to put a post on f_w asking members to consider contributing to a drive for what appears to be a very worthy cause of a non-BNF HP Fandomer called sapphireisle who's mom is suffering from a rare form of cancer and who has been desperately seeking help with very expensive medical bills from all and sundry for the past year without success. Her dad is about to be laid off from work, too, which will only heap further misery on the situation.

(This is a cause that, earlier today, begun to be taken up by an ever-increasing amount of F_W members after a suggestion by Icz in Laptopgate.)

funkyhelix thinks it'd be tapping the shoulders of those that have already seen it.

cleolinda thinks she can link it in her journal and get people who haven't already been annoyed with it.

On the other hand, ladybirdsleeps thinks other people haven't seen all the comments. And also that As long as it's clear you need permission first or we'll mock you, then it shouldn't become unmanageable or even all that annoying.
</i>

Not too wanky so far BUT..

Aw, I won't spoil the best bit for y'all Here ya go!

Small, but amusing!

Btw, only decent to point out that Sapphire's mom's site is http://www.4christina.org