Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

1:09am: NIN Wank
As to be expected, the NIN fandom has its share of colourful characters and the Echoing the Sound forums tend to be a breeding place for wank and pointless posts usually not worth reporting. Blayne aka Quill is one such character and during the year I've been lurking the forum, she's had some choice moments. But her latest rambling? Ladies and gentleman, if this isn't Batshit Insane, I don't know what is.

( Trent Reznor is stalking me and I want it to stop, dammit! )

The comments aren't very wanky, mainly because at this point, no one takes anything she says seriously, but damn.

2:29am: Now this is a first: Passions wank!
Even though it's a major plotline on the show right now, netanyapereirra whines over on passions* that no one should use the word "rape" in their posts, because it makes her cry as she's been raped before. And when taken to task that, um, maybe this isn't a rape hotline and that she might not be the only person who's had a rough time of it, she has to go into a litany of all of her woes.

Nazis score a mention, too. Small wank, but still. Can't go wrong with Nazis.

[* Yes I belong to a Passions community. Shut up.]

3:16am: Didn't see this one coming, but wow...
The Yugioh fandom is not exempt from wank. There have been pairing factions, ship wars, character bashing, het vs. yaoi and yuri, you name it. However, the LJ mods of Yugioh (YGO) based groups are pretty professional individuals. They usually step into flame wars with clear heads to layeth the smackdown, then disappear quietly into the ether of fandom once more.

Or so I thought. Meet dj_moves2001, the creator of a small Seto/Jou yaoi group called jou_loves_kaiba.
It's been around for a little over a year on LJ and things seemed to be all buddy-buddy between her and the mod she appointed, darkmus. The people who joined were very happy with the group.

Suddenly, without warning, dj_moves2001 disappeared for months on end and darkmus stepped up as 'The Mod' in her place. The regulars wondered at first if dj had gone on hiatus, then newbies came into the comm, boyporn was shared, and we forget about her for shiny new things.

Apparently, that pisses her off because she has now launched a tirade about it being 'taken from her' here: http://www.livejournal.com/community/jou_loves_kaiba/158146.html. It's complete with ZOMG!I LEAVE INTARNETS U SUX, bad grammar, and shitty uncut bitmap graphics as a going away present. Isn't there a law about breaking the same rules you set up in the first place?

If not, why spoil such a beautifully wanky thing?

5:29am: Running to fat
Sinfest creator Tatsuya Ishida receives flack for today's comic for being an insensitive clod who makes fun of fat women. Never mind that Squigley is supposed to be a male chauvinist pig. At least one person points this out, but the others seem to be a little distracted.

The genuine wank is tiny, but it has potential. Witness the following excerpts.

finding_coral: Fuckin A... and why don't people like big girls??

cmot_dribbler: Cause it shows lazyness, and a lack of respect for oneself. (IMHO)

11:56am: You don't *get* it! And we're all jelouz! And fundamentally insecure!
Remember Turimel? She was scammed by VB and OB, and has now written a book about it called "When a Fan Hits the Shit".

Unfortunately, none other than the Forces of Evil (capitalization mine) are at work to make Teh Book (capitalization hers) lose its battle against the evil hobbits. How? By writing bad reviews in Amazon.

( 'Are you guys so fundamentally insecure that the only way you can feel satisfied is to see my book fail?' )

And now I'm slightly sour because I don't have an Anne Rice icon.

ETA: Fixed the book's title. Ahem.

10:08pm: Some Digimon fans are batshit crazy
Digimon fandom is fairly quiet nowadays, but a few years ago we could wank enough to compete with HP fandom. Good times, yo. But, ever so often we get a mighty explosion of splooge. This is one such occasion.

Yet anothed mediocre fic hits the Pit of Voles. Haven't read much of it personally, but it looks like yet another pairing-obsessed, character-bashing crossover fic with no real substance. However, the real splooge is in the 4 pages of comments. Four friggin' pages.

Before I begin, I'd like to say that the recent manner of smashing names together to indicate shipping preferences is stupid. Thank you. For those who (thankfully) don't give a shit, the term "Takari" is used to refer to the Takeru/Hikari pairing while the term "Daikari" is used to refer to the Daisuke (Davis in the dub)/Hikari pairing. Yes, we have stupid pairing wars.

One reviewer points out the obvious:
!!!!! 2004-12-04 1 Anonymous
ABSOLUTE CRAP!
You're just writing this to spite Gallantmon's work becuase he didn't write his fic a Takari. And to satisfy your obsessive fangirl craze for Takari.

This is, of course, countered by the author, who is wanky enough to pull the "don't like, don't read" card. Things go from there as Mykan jumps in with "DAKARI-FOREVER," oh so wittingly countered by the author's "TAKARI FOREVER." Buddha on a fuckin' Segway, people, you're having hissyfits over which cartoon characters you want to sleep with each other. Things take a turn for the worse as Mykan keeps wanking. And wanking. And wanking some more.

You'd think that'd be the end of it, wouldn't you? Not in this fandom. Mykan is soon joined by another rabid fan who thinks roleplaying a cartoon character will win him brownie points in teh intarnet race:

Takeru "TK" Takaishi 2004-12-11 1 Anonymous
second great? oh please, that song describes Davis perfectly, he could never touch me cause I have something he doesn't, friends, a loving girlfriend namely Kari, and the crest of hope

Mykan stop your little war before you take it too far, believe me we have so many Takari fans that hate being flamed by jealous and upset crybabies like you Mykan, it wasn't our fault your fics got deleted

So now they're off to snarl at each other over which 11 year old cartoon character gets to sleep with another 11 year old cartoon character, and Mykan makes the rest of his/her particular subsection of Digimon fandom look stupid. So does the Takeru imposter, for that matter. Eventually it devolves into a "my favorite character is better than your favorite character" wank, alleviated at one point by a fairly cute parody by T-2000 and a few voices of sanity. They are, of course, promptly ignored as Mykan keeps wanking to the look of his own text. Will he continue wanking until his fingers fall off? Who knows!

Yeah, it's still going. Ah, but I love the batshit crazy in my fandom.