Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

6:47am: Pony wank triple feature baby
Got THREE wanks for y'all today.


For our appetizer, is it hoarding to have two of one pony?

( Bits and pieces of the argument. For the full thing with all the stuff I couldn't be fucked to copy over, click the above link. Do it now. You didn't? That's why your mother never loved you, you know )

And that's enough of that!

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Now onto our main course.


Bebear1995 took some scans of the ponies from her store's catalogue. Or something like that. What makes this notable is that in the toyfair pictures, two of the ponies in her catalogue were of the pegasus variety. In her catalogue? Not so much.

Anyway, Dietotaku (you may remember her from the 'YOU CUT YOUR PONY'S HAIR!?' wank that none of you remember) shows up, disagrees in her special way, Bebear gets annoyed and takes them down, Dietotaku reposts the pictures, namecalling starts, mistakes are made, MEN DIE.***

Mostly it's bitching about small plastic horses and what shapes they'll be made in.

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For dessert, we have tried and true opening up MIB ponies.


Rpeters22 got herself some ponies! They were still in their box. She thought they were cute! So she took them out after asking if anyone else wanted to trade for them so she wouldn't have to. No one did, so there was openage.

The spazzing begins. Notable wankers: Lovely tickle who tells us that Rpeters22 has destroyed cultural property****, Glorfindel (as seen above), MareGathersWords who asks us Does that mean the person who owns the Mona Lisa is entitled to paint over it because they paid for it? after complaining that the fact they own the ponies is no excuse for them doing as they please, and Frisket17 who insists that Rpeters22 had a social responsibility not to open her toys.


Remember! To open the ponies is to give in to selfishness and help bring us one step further to the crumbling of society.


( explanations for various terms )

4:34pm: Michael Jackson and 80s style charity
A metaquote about 80s fundraisers and Michael Jackson is bound to be mildly amusing, right? Not for this person, who goes from raging to boring in one short (but not short enough) thread.
The moral of this story: “that’s not funny!” Or maybe it's "celebrities are people too!"

7:47pm: Punish the adulters!!!
Well, hello there, Wanketeers!

Perhaps the most amusing/bizarre thing about the wrestling fandom is that the best wank, the finest of the wank litter, is started by the celebrities themselves. And no matter how fucking insane the fanfic gets for the fandom, there's a real life story involving a real wrestler that is probably more batshit crazy.

The undisputed kings (and queen) of all wrestling fandom wank is, hands down, Team Xtreme. This is the trio (or, well, when they were less messed up, they were a trio) of Jeff Hardy (fandom faery king), Matt Hardy (fandom uh... well, the guy that's always slashed with the fandom faery, because incest is practically canon in this fandom) and Lita (Matt's girlfriend, "punk chick" with a big tattoo, pretty and seems like a cool chick; unfortunately, she really really sucks at wrestling).

Jeff has long since become cracked out and was released from the WWE, which brought on much wank. Matt and Lita, however, seemed to be pretty solid. They both worked hard, had some injuries, but they had each other. Except, well, Matt came off as kind of a prick in his book when mentioning Lita, but he came off as kind of a prick all around. No big deal. They've been together for a long time, and they seem to be pretty good at staying off heavy drugs, which is what gets most wrestlers.

Except. ( In no other fandom would the celebrities resort to internet flaming, but that's why I love wrestling )

But the best fannish stupidity to come out this, is the petition to "Punish the Adulters", since, yeah, by the way, Edge is recently married:

http://www.petitiononline.com/072684/petition.html

That'll show 'em!

Though, perhaps the miracle of this wank is that it doesn't involve Triple H in any way.