Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

1:21pm: QAF Fandom: All Wanky, All the Time!
In which we learn that the QAF fandom ships and has fetishes for venereal diseases.

Gentle readers, there is too much to bring all of it for your self-pleasuring amusement, so please content yourself with this, my humble offering of wank.

Warning, spoilers for QAF Season 5 featured heavily in this wank. If you're one of the few, the proud, the believers, who still cares what happens, and doesn't already know, stay away from the links.

Some QAF fans who live in Toronto, the Toronto Crew, decided to hold "Stalkerfest 2005". This means, "decided to follow the cast and crew around at all hours as they filmed season five." bigboobedcanuck, one of the Toronto crew, reported their findings in a comprehensive spoilerific post. The Toronto Crew, turns out, had accidentally called one major spoiler too soon, causing some fans to believe that things would unfold differently.

rhiandra, brings us spoiletiquette, the rules that you must follow if you want to share your spoilers. This means, "TELL ME EVERYTHING THE MOMENT YOU KNOW IT!!! YOU OWE IT TO ME!!!" The Minions Pounce, there and elsewhere. There's even a reminder that the Toronto Crew isn't the Associated Press (in case anyone was confused) and doesn't OWE THE FANDOM ANYTHING.

The real goodness lies ahead! Cut for small S5 spoiler.

( Your wank is right this way! )

11:21pm: Wank in the HP fandom? Who knew?
http://www.livejournal.com/users/themostepotente/71720.html

Themostepotente makes a post about how people who aren't fanartists shouldn't critique fanart.

Wank ensues.

11:48pm: House M.D.'s tiny wank
Ahh, House. A relatively new fandom, and one would think it's snarky, smart topic would make the trolls run for their respective covers. It's a rather small one, but considering I have seen little House wanks I thought it'd be fun to post. :D

Sadly, this is not the case.

ella_megablast (who happened to make the journal, oh, an hour or so before posting!), starts off the wank:

Let me start off my post with a big FUCK YOU.

I don't see why you geeky cocks have to take one of the few pleasures in my life, wipe your ass with it, and then post it on the internet as FAN FICTION.

GET A FUCKING LIFE! CAN'T THIS COMMUNITY BE ABOUT THE SHOW ALONE? NO ONE WANTS TO READ YOUR SHIT-COCK FAN FUCKING FICTION, YOU PIECE OF SHIT, PISS-DRINKING, LOSER, VIRGIN FUCKS!

Clearly, her OMG ANGREE bold font and RIDICULOUS USE OF CAPITAL LETTERS shows she means business, folks.

It takes around five minutes for the first outcries begin from presumably the piece of shit, piss-drinking, loser, virgin fucks that took offense to such a statement:

...And it's a relatively normal reply! Acrimonius simply states, "... And this is why we need a moderator.", which sums it up rather nicely. Pandora_poet attempts to reason with the troll, stating "Children are afoot. Mind the language." in which She replies, "CHILDREN CAN SUCK MY DICK!" Pleasant, really.

Then it starts to get really fun:

atlantapendrag gives a helpful tip to a possibily PMSing Ella: "Hon, the maxipads go sticky side down." Others suggest that she may want to take her anti-crazy meds.

Finally, we get the ultimate reply to this fanfiction hating troll: FANFICTION! Complete with mansausage!

We finally find out just why Ella is so angry: FANFICTION RUINED HER LIFE! OH NOES!

bcome_so_numb declares Ella as "Best Troll of the Year", which is where it slows down. I must admit, I think the 'Best Troll' contest was rigged, because I've seen far better trolls. But what can you do?

All and all, a small one, but ya gotta love it. I think this was worth it to see a fic using the term "mansausage", personally.