Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

8:46am: HP wank in full effect
Thanks to scarah2, halogirl8, and acony_bell for all the info on this wank!

This wank took place over years and is a long and convoluted saga. But if there's any blanks to fill in, let me know.

ritalicious and royelin have been around the HP fandom for quite some time. Their identities seemed suspicious to some, but they were popular enough that nobody wanted to say anything.

( sockpuppetry, Harry Potter style! )

But, Faye's friends are still in denial.

More proof is offered.

There's even talk of hiring a private investigator.

BONUS WANK: The name Donna, a friend of Angie/faye_kinnit_, is mentioned several times throughout. halogirl8 had this to add about her:

"As for Donna. Oy vay. This story just goes on and on. She used to be a mod at DA, and was demodded in conjunction with a newsletter about my copious evil [<--link added later] that was conceived by Angie (the one talked about in slytherkins journal.) She wasn't demodded for the newsletter, but her involvement was widely believed and Angie and the other people responsible for the newsletter essentially let her take the fall."

ETA: Faye_Kinnit confesses!

11:37am: Legion of Super-Wankers
This one's a few days old, but priceless none the less.

Over on the DC Comics forums, there tends to be a lot of small wank. Usually it comes in one little spurt, then everyone hurries to make apologies, clean up the mess and basically live in harmony. Every now and then, though, things aren't settled so easily.

Point in case? Ms Tree's open letter to DC about homosexual super-heroes from the Legion section of the forums. Right off the bat you have all the makings of a nice little wankfest: mentions of previous arguements, naming of names, calling the creators cowards and jerks. It's all there.

It slows down around page three when the OP stops posting, but gets a few light faps out around the end. Not bad for half a month's work.

Highlights include:

I stayed home because it was cheap but my parents did not give me a curfew. I went to gay bars and had sex with at least 100 men.

My degree in psychology (No good can ever come of anyone flashing credentials on the internet.)

And my favorite: No one wants to see "Captain Gayman and his bum badit avengers".

12:18pm: Trevor Blumas, world's most patient human, finally calls the cops
And wouldn't ya know--our old friend Michael Jerome/Master Yoda/Darth Vader is proud of it. More site traffic for him and his macrobiotic, Freemason-hating, boy-band-boffing delusions!

In The Globe, which Michael helpfully reprints in case you don't happen to have the most recent copy on your nightstand, Trevor says:

"Can you believe it? It's really, really, really bad. Before I tried to ignore it. But now it's gotten to the point where I just had to call the police and have an investigation."

Trevor, I'd say we've been in a near-constant state of not believing it since the site was first mentioned here. For those who have not yet made the voyage to Crazyland, take lots of bottled water and several flashlights.

3:58pm: Because Diagnosis Murder tie-in novels are CLASSIC LITERATURE, you plebes!
I was going to post to fandom_lounge but I think this qualifies as wank. If you don't think so, let me know and I'll move it.

I have been living in the internet equivalent of a cave in Tibet, because hey! Have you heard of this new "in" thing? It's called SLASH and it's sooooo wrong and omg hold me mommy!

This of course spawns some responses, both reasonable and hysterical.

Meljean Brook explains why she writes fanfic and asks readers and writers a few questions about what they read/write and how they feel about the legalities of it.

I'm a real writer and you're NOT, nanny nanny boo boo! In other words, Lee Goldberg who is a real professional writer (you know him, of course! He's the one behind that dramatic masterpiece, Diagnosis Murder! Yes, the one starring Dick Van Dyke. Shut up. It is TOO real writing) needs to relax, just a wee bit. Like maybe he needs a couple of valiums, a half bottle of JD, and to get laid, because I can tell his stress level is through the roof from way over here.

Thanks to coolredwyne over on LJ who pointed these links out.

And remember: no trolling. If you're going to comment on any of those blogs, and I don't doubt you will, don't be an asshat. Thanks.

5:39pm: The Doctor was right. Wanking does cause madness.
Two classic elements of British Broadcasting culture come together, in messy array.

Doctor Who, the televisual delight of several generations, has a new series out. There is much rejoicing.

Points of View is a classic pool of spooge for the BBC. Irate viewers and listeners from the English heartlands have free reign to generally rant and rave about their pet broadcasting irks. Sort of like Livejournal, only the taxpayer pays for it.

John Blewitt (he didn't) is one of these people.

The Reverend demands LOVE, not FEAR.

"I am a preacher in the Methodist Church and I was completely shocked and unprepared for the Dr Who episode broadcast on Saturday 09 April 05.
The subject matter is very REAL and such activities as seances and contacting the dead DO HAPPEN today with disastrous consequences many times. Messing about with spiritual areas we cannot control should not be done - this is clear from the Bible.
Apart from my disquiet about the content of Dr Who, I was also concerned that it was screened at 7.00 pm when many young and vulnerable people would have been watching. In a day when Christian values seem almost to have been forgotten we need to remember again that LOVE not FEAR should be at the centre of our community and national life."

Fairly standard responses, so far. The "You're a fool, and you don't understand the underlying moral!!" posts. The sarcastic faux support. The accusations of  BBC sockpuppetry. The "Ha, a Christian being upset about fiction!" posts.

Not to mention the illiterate trolls, stating that "popes, preachers programmes like dr Who are all daft and the loonies who listen and watch are nuts." And of course, where would we be without the classic self-incriminating "you should probably add people who post on the points of view message board to that list too".

All in all, a tasty little Saturday tea-time wank.