Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

9:25am: To nerd or not to nerd? Salon reports on HHGTG wank. Sorry, I meant to say debate.
Originally from here:
http://www.salon.com/books/feature/2005/04/28/hitchhikers/index.html

But I'm cutting-and-pasting for those that don't have the bandwidth or patience to go through the mandatory advertisement to read it.

Lost in space

Douglas Adams fans, anxiously awaiting "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" movie, debate how to express their passion for the sci-fi novelist without looking like nerds.

( Nerds? Oh noes! )

2:34pm: A brand spanky new 100 Bullets wank!
A long time ago in a galaxy far far away...

...there was a planet dubbed Gunsmoke.

And then there was Trigun wank.

Our story begins when fadingembers posts a silly and cute Star Wars/Trigun crossover drabble to 100 Bullets. People enjoy it.

Then, knives_gurl decides to post a copycat drabble with the same punchline, and is told by jaina that it's poor taste to gank someone else's ideas. knives_gurl makes the fatal mistake of stepping to the mod, and is promptly banninated.

People point and laugh at the irony, and all is quiet for about twenty minutes.

Somewhere along the line, shardd makes something of an "I told you so" post in her journal. This post, along with the 100 Bullets ban and other assorted mockery, prompts the classic "SCREW YOU GUYS I'M GOING HOME" post from knives_gurl, complete with the iconnable "I hope you get ass raped by a fucking baboon" and ""SHOVE YOUR GODDAMN SNOBBNESS WITH YOUR MOTHER FUCKING PEN AND FUCK YOURSELF'S!!!!!!", along with the deletion of her fics from Fanfiction.net.

She then deletes her journal, undeletes it, removes comments, redeletes it, and as of this posting, has undeleted it again.

All is quiet for a few hours while the troops regroup.

Then... It's that missing Star Wars chapter, Attack of the Socks!

(My timeline is a little unclear here, so bear with me; I had gone to bed at this point.)

lolyousuck posts about thirty graphic Knives X Vash twincest pics to 100 Bullets. The post is quickly deleted, and the community is put on moderated status for the time being.

At the same time, our OLD PAL millyfan (you remember her, right?) shows up in jaina's personal journal as sweetsicks, a sock she's used before to post nonsense to 100bullets, and promptly starts snarking at Jaina, implying that knives_gurl gets a free pass to act like an asshole if she is disabled. She magically morphs back into millyfan two comments in.

sweetsicks again drags out the clique argument and encourages clique members to go spend some quality time with themselves.. The issue of who is whose sockpuppet and wanking during RP sessions and its effect on fic is discussed, and the term "hive clitoris" is extrapolated from F_W's "hive vagina." In an act of TMI, millyfan brags that she hasn't experienced the Big O like it's a good thing.

People continue to point and laugh.

Not one to be outdone, lolyousuck shows up, making sure that everyone knows she's totallie not millyfan. sassyhush, who may or may not be millyfan with a fake nose and eyeglasses on (SassyHush was MF's original handle), shows up to tell lolyousuck to knock it off. Regardless of whose hand is in the sock is this time, the icon is teh win (millyfan made the icon herself; it's a rather funny piece of self-mockery.)

The aftermath:

Tachikoma01 pops in to fadingembers's journal to swear and affirm that millyfan is not lolusuck. Never mind that the sock in question is lolyousuck, and that journal has since been bahleeted. Spelling counts!

fadingembers also writes a funny poem.

glass_bullet tells everyone to STFU already, and knives_gurl pops in as anonymous to call for an end to the wank.

(Does this move millyfan up a couple seeds in the Greatest Wankers Tournament?)

6:13pm: Comics need more Pandex!
At Newsarama, an announcement is made that a couple of upcoming Teen Titans issues will be written by Gail Simone and illustrated by... Rob Liefeld.

Now, for those of you who aren't intimately familiar with comic authors, Rob Liefeld is something of a controversial choice, mainly due to his tenuous grasp of human anatomy. (For examples, his webpage.)

Wank explodes on the discussion thread.

( Highlights, lowlights, and an illustrated lesson about the human body. )

Believe it or not, it all degenerates from there.

Update: Liefeld responds! So do his fans!

8:24pm: Queen Latifah Wank
Pointed out by a mouse here, and it gave me a giggle.

Over on the ohnotheydidnt community on LJ, someone posts some pictures of Queen Latifah in sweatpants and no make up.

the_lonelysound starts the drama here by insinuating that Ms Latifah is, er, unattractive... and people get really pissed off. Cue a) random mentions of models and anorexia, and b) a complete inability on the part of various people to understand sarcasm (even though it's not very good sarcasm if you then point out you were being sarcastic whilst using the "marquee" tag).

Bonus wank: OMG she so butch!1!!! where deerscare invokes the words "gender spectrum".

Edit: Icon courtesy of anonymous.

( CAPSLOCK MADE YOUR OPINION IMPORTANT!!!! )

10:18pm: PSA - Are you new? That's okay!

...brought to you by this comment.

Hi! New to Fandom_Wank? A visiting mouse? Great, great. That's fantastic. Here's some helpful links and information to help you.

First, you should check out our user info. It has our rules to live by, and lists our off-shoot communities. There's also a link there to our helpful guidelines, which is also something you should read.

Next up? The actual community page! Wow, huh? Isn't it spiff? That layout comes from mortari and versaphile.

Now what's important, is that side bar on the left. I know, so hard to see with all that wank distracting you. But look! It's important, trust me. All the way at the bottom, what's that? Why, it's a list of mods! And well, it's out of date, but that's okay. If you tag one of 'em, they'll fix your shit for you, or you know, pat you on the head or what not.

Mods listed, and from my shitty memory:
hugsnkisses - pwnz j00
backfromspace - that guy with the thing? You know, the thing? Bah. He hangs out in fw_debate a lot trying to make youze guys all happy. Why? I have no idea.
flutterg - stealth ninja mod. Who is she? Only the Phantom knows.
renjenri - she is...BATMAN! Not really, but how cool would that be?
sepiamagpie - He has a lot of My Little Ponies. This is important for any F_W mod resume. He was also voted in by the f_w masses, so he obviously is philthy reeeeech enough to bribe a lot of people.
phosfate - She won the fandom_wank deathmatch which means jack and shit, but she was voted in by the masses and owns several glue guns. Don't fuck with her.
panthea - I have no idea who this is. I think it might be a robot.
wankprophet - He tells the best stories because he's Gandalf. No, really. And he was voted in by the masses, so you all LOOOOOOOoooOooOoOOove him.
arkane156 - She created the very first fandom_wank, and therefore this is all. her. fault. Plus she told El Jay!Brad to choke on cock and lived to tell the tale!
sorchar May or may not be an actual mod, but has an ugly!cat icon that can kick your ass.

Enjoy your stay and try to be less annoying. Thanks!