Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

1:35am: Jak, Jesus and shit flinging rhesus monkeys!
First wank, so be gentle, pass the towels and all that fun stuff.

Over on the Livejournal Jak community the_precursors, blasphemy_mar makes a post about how she is tired of fans "ranting" in the community about pairings, plot points and changes from game to game.

( RARR RANTAGE YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!...or something. )

The first two responses are relatively tame until queensimia appears on the scene and proceeds to mock away. It all goes downhill from there with intentional capslock abuse, a new nick for the OP and gratuitious yet amusing picture posts.

( It's not your opinion that pisses me off, it's the helmet-wearing retarded manner in which you present it. )

About half way into the sixty some odd comments to hit the origianl post, witchitar08 joins the fray to defend blasphemy_mar because damnit, it's an opinion, she's allowed to have it and "SHE WARNED YOU ALL!" Most community members continue to be amused, accusations of commenters having no lives fly and one part of the thread branches off into OT-land involving internet babies and lube (all in good fun, natch).

Things quiet down for a short time afterwards, but business as usual is soon interrupted when blasphemy_mar pops back in several posts later to smack the collective community upside the head for disobeying its own rules.

( You all need a life! )

More wank and mockery ensue, continuing for another sixty nine comments (and counting), in which the OP is accused of "flapping their e-penis around" and some complain about the drama eating up room on their flists. Again, witchitar08 drops in to accuse the moderator of being "the biggest fucktard to ever walk the planet" and, as a result, is banninated by purest_chaos. Her efforts appear to have been in vain, however, as one comment before, blasphemy_mar posts to say she taking her ball and going home.

At the moment, the thread appears to be winding down with some members throwing coments back and forth in call caps for their own amusement. I'm personally rather fond of the "dancing Corgi" icon thrown in near the end along with half a dozen other amusing/mocking picture posts.

EDIT: D'oh! Sorry about the "first wank" stuff, folks. That's what I get for posting at 2am. Anyway, carry on. People had fun with that much, so I'm not going to edit it from the post. I'll take my "punishment" as it comes. :)

8:38am: With Potential to grow!
Nothing better to bring along some publicity for a new record then a bit of shocking news

So Trent from Nine Inch Nails has cancer, hasn't he?

11:28pm: Animoprhs Wank! I'm soaking in nostalgia...

Ah, Animorphs.  For those who don't know, it's a surprisingly mature YA sci-fi series that spawned a god-awful, short-lived TV show (this will be important later).  Incidentally, it was my first fandom.  Back in '97 or so, it boasted of having the most fics in the book section of The Pit (this was back when ff.net was cool).  It was also a cesspool of wank, from rabid ship wars to nitpick bitching.  The fans matured over the years and real wank is pretty rare these days, which makes this all the more precious. 

It starts when mattiris posts that Shawn Ashmore (who played Jake) is dating Michelle Trachtenberg.   wraithlord42 feels that the comment is inapropriate .  geritar shows up to support the OP, mentioning that Brooke Nevin, who played Rachel, is talked about all the time.  This leads to a discussion of Brooke's acting ability (or lack thereof). 

burned_rose also shows her support for the OP with lettered points.  wraithlord42 retorts by saying that anyone who automatically associates Shawn Ashmore and Animorphs has mental problems.  musemuffin asks who made wraithlord42 the community police, and she responds by saying, "Conscience made me the community police."  Right.  She wanks for moral reasons.

There is, of course, the requisite wank over the merits of the show.  Then seraficradiance shows up to announce that she doesn't know who Shawn Ashmore is, which makeswraithlord42 very happy.  And it all ends with a mod post .

Yes, it's small, but so is the fandom.  It's almost enough to make me go rent the videos again.  ::sniff:: This brings back so many memories of the good old days...

11:34pm: Pony Wank - Ebay and Cousins.
Remember, EZBoard is evil and full of spyware and/or popups.

The start is here when BabyGlory17 says, "Look, Rapunzel on Ebay!" Everyone else does what they do during any live auction, and shits a brick about there even being mention of it. It all sums up as "OMGWTF dun't post about unended auctions! Now we have to pay two hundred and twelve bucks instead of two hundred and eleven! You bitch!" It even carries over to another post, when Baby Glory complains about her cousin not selling extra ponies to her and people tell her to STFU, that no one has to sell her anything, and she doesn't deserve it because oh yeah, you blew Rapunzel for us!

Said auction? Right here and pulled up by typing "rapunzel" in a search.

And this is why I buy the cheap, shitty ponies that only put me back the cost of a translated manga instead of the price of my RENT.