Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

12:45am: You do realize this is just a movie, right?
The LJ community comic_creators is normally a very non-wanky place where people may discuss comics, particularly their own, show off their artwork, talk about their story ideas or scripts, etc. And then... Along comics Metalhero who apparently thinks this is the perfect place to discuss Star Wars and how George Lucas OMIGOD TOTALLY RAPED MY SOUL AND TOOK MY CHILDHOOD OUT INTO THE ALLEYWAY BEHIND THE PORNO THEATRE AND BENT IT OVER A GARBAGE CAN AND FUCKED IT UP THE ASS etc. etc. ad nauseum, in a rant that we've all seen a million times, even before the damn Episode III came out.
A pretty wanky discussion ensues, as Metalhero calls anyone who doesn't think his irritating, off-topic rant was brilliant a "cock-jockey", and then claims that he's been "climbing the comedy ladder for going on four years now" (he's 19). (That's on top of telling a person who was politely challenging him that "you're wrong. End of story". What a charming, charming young man.)

As a special added bonus, this appeared TWICE on my friends list, but fortunately the mod at comicartist is a little more on the ball .

8:06am: YOUJR LIFE WOULD SUCK TOO IF YOU MALESTED AS A CHILD.
Yu-Gi-Oh! wank that has surprisingly little to do with Yu-Gi-Oh!.

lonewarrior posts in playthedamncard about why she hates Kisara. Someone gets "ticked off" and disagrees.

It all goes downhill from there.

Lonewarrior feels the need to respond to the other poster's disagreement by bringing her personal life into it. This causes blackjackrocket to wonder what lonewarrior and her boyfriend have to do with anything.

Lonewarrior responds that "she said thinking about a cartoon's suffering made her shudder, so I can tell something that would make her faint" while insisting that Kisara fans were warned.

Blackjackrocket maintains that lonewarrior's first rebuttal to the other poster was insulting while insisting that whatever lonewarrior has been through has nothing to do with the subject at hand. Lonewarrior is very pissed.

Blackjackrocket suggest that lonewarrior should make a lonewarrior community, "so you can piss and moan there instead of clogging up a cartoon community," resulting in this exchange.

They fight some more and moonymonster tries to get them to agree to disagree.

Still more people get involved, while lonewarrior and blackjackrocket continue to go at it. And lonewarrior finally turns the caps off! galuxkitty also gets into a debate how much five-year-olds know.

Someone says of all the posters, "If fandom_wank was still around, they'd probably give you a medal, just for being so childish and whiny."

10:00am: Golden Shiny Wire of Wank
Fanficrants is at it yet again. You'd think with a name like "fanficrants", people would get used to the idea that it's a comm for snarking at bad fanfiction , and being generally bitchy and disagreeable. But apparently, chaos_r is a little slow on the draw:

ZOMG STP R4NT!N N TEH R4NT COMM! UR MEEN 2 TEH CHYLDRUN DAT RITE FANFIK! ITZ JEST 4 FUUUUUUUUUUN!

Invokes Godwin's law, among others. Because ranting about fanfiction is so totally WWII.

Enjoy!

12:28pm: Ghostbusters Mary Sue Gang Wars
Years ago, Bo Holbrook, an American Ghostbusters fan, founded Nightsquad. Nightsquad is essentially a group of Ghostbusters fans who write Mary Sue fanfiction about their own crew of Ghostbusters. The regular Ghostbusters (Venkman, Egon, Ray, & Winston) work during the day, and the Nightsquad crew covers for them at night.

A couple years later (this is still years before now), Kingpin, a Ghostbusters fan from the UK, forms his own Mary Sue fanfiction crew over there after being kicked out of Nightsquad. They call themselves Graveyard Shift UK. They cover at nighttime for the UK Ghostbusters (whoever they are).

Bo is furious because he says it's a ripoff of Nightsquad. Instead of letting go and moving on, he wanks on and on about it for years.

And here we are today, witnessing YET ANOTHER BO HOLBROOK/KINGPIN CAGE MATCH. Certainly not one to take the higher ground, Bo starts off immediately by calling Kingpin's writing "atrocious," and that's why he "fired" him in the first place. Apparently he considers writing GB Gary Stu fic a profession, and he can "hire" and "fire" people from Nightsquad. He tells Kingpin to start calling Graveyard Shift Nightsquad UK instead. Also:

Bo: Nightsquad's REAL now. We don't have to write shit anymore if we don't want to. All we gotta do is hang out and eat at Denny's.

Okay!

Kingpin basically says no, he's not going to change their name, for some kinda bullshit sounding reasons (e.g. they're over in the UK and don't actually associate with the Original Ghostbusters). Bo resorts to name-calling.

My favorite retort to Kingpin's lame excuses is by TheRazorsEdge, who is one of Bo's minions:

TheRazorsEdge: I don't see how the fact that they don't share an HQ makes Nightsquad disconnected from the OGBs. In half the f*cking stories, they get their assignments directly from Ray or Janine.

PSSSST... YOU GUYS! IT'S NOT REAL!

5:25pm: Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab (BPAL) are a popular gothic perfume oil seller. They sell a wide range of pure perfume oils which are individually hand mixed; consequently there is a huge backlog and orders take a minimum of two months to arrive. To combat this there are several LJ communities devoted to swapping and selling the oils independently.

In one of these, still_serenity makes a snarky post about remembering to order from the site rather than buying off a community.

Various snippy dialogues (in which passive-aggressive :)'s are heavily abused) ensue including such jems as:

there will always be people like you who would rather beg here than give your money to the business that creates the product you crave. [*]

Wow, who lit the fuse on your tampon? Maybe you should go back to bed and try to get up on the right side.
...
your comments are the equivalent of the RIAA whining about the sale of used CDs. My advice to you is the same as to them: try living in the real world. [*]

Wow... you really are the rudest, most unpleasant person I have run into in this journal or the forums. I thought BPAL made people happy- not a bitch.

If it bothers you so much- stay in the private BPAL community I see you belong too and keep your rudeness to yourself. [*]

And yes, perfume oils can be a fandom. How else would you class an obsession with something so great that you would put potentially poisonous substances in food to eat or wore it even though it gave you hideous welts because it smelled so good.

11:13pm: The Pointy Haired Boss disapproves!
(Sorry for the lame topic title.)
This has been going on for a while, and I was hoping someone else would comment about it. Oh well.

Over at the Dilbert LJ Feed (dilber3), people start asking why the Calvin and Hobbes feed was closed. People mention bandwidth reasons, copyright reasons, and the like. mikohki suggests someone blurted out at LJAbuse, because there was a (*gasp*) troll posting "explicit material" in the feed.

No way.

And the same troll (schwarzer_tod) is attacking the Dilbert feed as well. Oh, the humanity.

( It's flashback time! )