Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

1:51am: If this works I am *so* starting a Gerard Butler fansite...
Meet Sharon (aka Coymoon and Parielle), the webmistress at martoncsokas.net. Sharon is revolutionizing the terms “ownership” and “copyright” by applying her own unique blend of fannish entitlement to them. Sharon feels that “owns” any and all pictures of Marton Csokas (the guy who played Celeborn in LotR) posted on the web because, well she does all the hard work of finding and reposting (and watermarking!) them to martoncsokas.net.
( LotR, you always bring the crazy. How I <3333 thee )

EDIT: One of own wankas real life run in with Sharon!

EDIT THE SECONDI: This isn't the first time Sharon's had a bitchfit about someone "stealing" her work
EDIT the trilogy
Sharon's UPDATED! She took down the banned list and several of ktnb's stolen piccies, but added this screed:

EXPOSED: For your information, the sabotaging and looting of this web site is definitely discouraged. I stand by this popular Internet decorum - Among webmasters, there exists a prevailing courtesy against the "looting" of a legitimate web site for photos and information to be used on satellite web sites. Though this cannot be enforced, we do proceed in good faith relying on integrity, ethical behavior and respect for one another's work. I really hate to stamp all these photos, but we all know there's always a few rotten eggs in every basket. It's shocking to realize what a so-called fan can do to desecrate and violate the dignity of their favorite actor(s) by their sick fantasies. Click here for a sample but be forewarned that it's very graphic. The gal who did this composite actually wrote me and offered to make up some pics of Marton for the Archives. Pathetic, eh? Seems they prefer Vin Diesel as a partner for Marton. And just for the record, the Archives has absolutely NO affiliation with these undesirable CULT FANDOMS (yes, strange but true) present among forums, journals, diaries, guestbooks, message boards, picture shrines, and pornographic fanfiction, photos or drawings, that seek to denigrate and vilify Mr. Csokas's good name and character. This should remind you that there's a very dangerous element in today's Internet culture. It's called ANONYMITY. It allows a person to dabble in whatever evil behavior they want because consequences don't exist when nobody knows them.

So now she scrawls her name across the pictures to PROTECT Marton! Wow, she really is his number one fan...
Or has just completely lost her marbles.

10:05am: This is the wank that never EEEEEEENDS...
Some of this is kinda tl;dr, but there's some pretty fucking funny stuff in there too, so...

Hey guys, remember lonewarrior's adventures in playthedamncard?

Well, she's at it again, making a post that simply says, "bye" (punctuation and grammar hers). Naturally, people snark and talk about icons.

Then someone called warriordefender shows up, saying, "I am not lonewarrior but i think one person in this comm who I will not name was awful to her. I think you guys should be more sensative to someone who got molested (so what if she can't spell? GOD YOU GUYS ARE FREAKS.)." This prompts more snarking and some attempts to reason with warriordefender that don't go well.

(This is also the point when people start writing the Wank Song.)

galuxkitty tries to find out who warriordefender has a beef with. Warriordefender replies that blackjackrocket "disgusts" her. Blackjackrocket: "Then my work here is done."

There's also what looks like a completely unrelated conversation about Star Wars going that resulted from a post by zodiacstargazer basically telling warriordefender to go away.

People suggest shrinks, beg not to get on Fandom Wank while discussing how much of the post is ACTUALLY wank and question whether or not lonewarrior was actually malested.

If that didn't have enough wank for you, well, it's far from over, so hang onto your hats.

cyanidecoffe makes a wank'd banner.

profsparky makes some icons mocking lonewarrior. It is in this post that a mouse shows up. The mouse starts insulting people.

Meanwhile, people wonder if profsparky's icons went too far, and vappa, the mod, asks Sparky to take down icons with the word "malested" in them.

So that should be the end of it, right? Right?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA yeah right.

Vappa makes a mod post, and our buddy the mouse shows up again and gets accused of ripping off Simon Cowell.

With regards to rumors that warriordefender and lonewarrior are the same person, the mouse isn't that they aren't, because lonewarrior would never do something like that. People then accuse the mouse of being lonewarrior, and vappa attempts to diffuse the situation. Someone suggests disallowing anonymous comments; no idea if this suggestion is acted upon or not.

But hopefully, that really will be the end.

1:55pm: A very special tl;dr LOTRips wank
oselle, an Elijah Wood fan writes "close to 5,000 words" on her feelings about the pint-sized B-star.

"We are drawn to Elijah because he is so beautiful, and he is beautiful because he is whole, as we should be, as we might someday be again. He is like the sun, or the full moon, whole and radiant and perfect. Ah, how he shines."

The comment responses to this post are ( wholly supportive ) however, there is much behind-the-scenes mumbling in locked posts and after the first slightly negative comment is brushed off esorlehcar decides to air her views.

( Making a celebrity into a god isn't something I'll ever understand... )

The two argue back and forth ending with esorlehcar giving up and ranting in her LJ instead.

( I'm simultaneously so sorry for this woman I could cry... )

Various commenters express their support of esorlehcar but it's not long before oselle pops up to comment in what must surely be an ironical fashion.

( That's just...creepy. )

esorlehcar reveals she is posting under the influence of drugs whilst oselle manages to misunderstand the word "wank" and accuse esorlehcar of being a damn dirty rebulican.

you even included some handy hot-button "talking points" like "scary" and "violent." Boy, with skills like those you should be working for Fox News. [*]

Semantics are dabbled with and it just gets better as two more of oselle's friends come to defend her honour.

Unfortunately (and hilariously!) they manage to apparently only skim the comments as baylorsr first accuses esorlehcar of something she refuted in her first comment and then of something which a completely different person said.

( As I already told oselle when she made the same claim... )

In a further fit of irony, oselle writes a not-so nonspecific post extolling the virtues of humanity which stands to slight contrast with her repeated assertations that they were all "assholes" who were as broken, horrible, and utterly miserable as the world itself.

4:04pm: ( The Trevor Blumas stalker spams LJ )

6:41pm: A while back, an LJ Community, Drop By Dragoncon was started for attendees to lose poundage by the Great Gathering of Fans that takes place every Labor Day weekend.

Someone had to go one, ahem, better. On the Dragoncon community, in this post we are introduced to an ana community.

Wank doth ensue when after a couple comments like, "Um, it's a disease and "I love seeing beautiful real woman," aidsadelic ripostes wittily with, "god hates a fatty."

Further down, baphnedia does an admirable job of keeping his head while those about him are losing theirs. If you can stomach reading the whole thing, my hat be off to you.

edit: after the post gets deleted, it starts wanking again. The fun just never ends if you're aidsadelic.