Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

9:31am: wee cute fanfiction rant
(From wank_report, and I know nothing about the fandom but some things are universal.)

A fanfic is posted on a community dedicated to some anime pairing or other. It contains gay pr0n and a lot of descriptions like 'Pondering violet found playful emerald' and 'Satiated violet found burning emerald'.

Nobody has a problem with the gay pr0n, but a few people take exception to the writing.

The first thread is actually fairly cordial, if long-winded. We do learn that the author has 'a very stylist way of writing.'

The second thread, which continues here, heats up a bit, especially when chaosd jumps back in:

Violet eyes opened and shifted between seas of emerald.
It's very good you included this sentence in your example, as everything else in the two paras pales before it. I'll try to explain, being honest.

Sane reader's reaction would be between "disregarding" and "grabbing for an ice pack", depending on the overall fic quality and number of times the ficauthor brought it up before. Because over the years anime!fandomness exists, this turn of language's been used for everything, floor-wiping included. It's been parodied so much that a sufficiently uncaffeinated author out of his/her pre-teens won't ever think of using it in a somewhat serious piece.

( And the author explains herself, sort of... )

The author actually manages to keep things fairly civil, but don't worry, her 'friends' jump in to inform everybody that everybody critiquing the story is just jealous, and also that she has more fangirls than the other people and therefore is right.

Small and cute, like a tempest in a (violet) teacup.

2:59pm: Return of the psycho stalker
( The wank kept rolling in from every side )

Apparently, those buttons have been getting quite a workout since the Trevor Blumas board appears to have gaps in its postings. However, the deletions prove only one think to our crazy-ass stalker:
( All roads leave to gay )

( Michael Pardo is a liar.... and he sucks, literally )

( Pardo (mental case) responds to accusations by Cooper (homophobe & circumcision supporter) )

7:00pm: Yaoi Wank version 0.132159853 *siiigh*
It all started with a seemingly innocent post like this at 4chan...

( Who knew that such a cute little pic could start such a wank? )

But after 2/3 squeals, ZOMG people start wanking!

( Are you THAT young and stup..., er, naïve? )

***

( Watch me go all High and Might and Ranty! )

***

( I beg to dizagreeeeee! )

***

( Ph33r mah Authoritah Biatches!! )

***

( What's wrong? What's right? WHO THE (BLEEEP) CARES?! )

Sheeesh... Can't we just get along and look for our preferred kind of smt, dammit?

9:59pm: Harry Potter sorting hat wank!
shadowsider posts an application on hogwarts_elite. People vote on the application and it looks like Shadow will be sorted into Gryffindor.

shadowsider doesn't like it.

I am actually having trouble breathing, I'm laughing so hard. Gryffindor?? Or gods, even worse, Hufflepuff. You people need therapy. LOTS and lots of therapy.

Other gems include:
And pushing for Slytherin? Please. Read my userinfo. Better yet - read my journal. I scare my own wife on occasion, and not because I would ever lay a violent hand on her. Violence isn't my thing. Darkness, however, very much is.

Move over Ozzy!


The REAL hat would have seen inside my head and known where I belonged. It would have known that there's every chance I'd eat the other Slytherins for dinner, nevermind anyone from a brighter house. You, my darling hunted, were not that observent.

Yes folks the REAL sorting hat! You know, the one in that fictional universe?


And the #1 reason why he should be sorted into Slytherin?

"I work in a goth club. Bartending. In the dark."

Welcome to my fandom.