Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

12:11am: Kay. So. Um, in honour of it being fandom_love now I have just this to say:

I guess scans_daily isn't the great satan and everything really is subtext, even if it's a teenage boy admiring a woman = buttsex with batman.

Um. I mean. I love scans_daily for showing me that I should not discount the opinions of others because I am a elitist swine. Love. Etc.



Can I be a mod again now? I LOVED. YOU SAW ME LOVE.

*sob*

2:11am: I love my socky pals!
I just wanted to post to fandom_love in order to share my love of my fellow sock puppets. Truly, you are all a beautiful bunch of people, animals and things, and I love you all so very very much.

*HUGS AND RAINBOW INK*

2:56am: You people make me sick.
I don't believe this.

So you've all seen the light, huh? Going to be nothing but love and kisses and *vomits* pony hugs from now on in?

HA. Ha, I say. You're all addicted to wank and you know it. I give you two days, three tops, before you're wishing you'd never even heard of "Fandom Love." But it'll be too late then. Your haloes will have turned into nooses and I hope they choke you like nooses usually do.

And might I say, I find it incredibly suspicious that this was done during a time when I'm having difficulty with my internet connection. What, were you all so scared that you were afraid to do it to my face? You had to wait until I couldn't disagree or something? I guess turning wank into love also turns backbones into licorice.

While you're all patting yourselves on the back and rejoicing in your newfound (self)-righteousness, maybe you could take a moment to think of the people you've shut out. The ones for whom Fandom_Wank is more than just a community about snark. Those of us for whom it's a much-needed outlet, a way of venting our fears and insecurities and jealousies among like-minded individuals. What are we supposed to do now, huh? Or do you even care? Probably to you we're like ants, or like the goth kids in high school that nobody would eat lunch with. I bet you didn't know that we have feelings just like everyone else. No, you just made this change all on your own, without consulting anyone, just like Hitler or some other Nazi dictator. When someone goes crazy and shoots up the entire cheerleading squad because they couldn't vent their rage on FW anymore, I hope you'll still be so proud of yourselves.

Take your love and stick it where the sun don't shine. And I hope it gives you hemorrhoids.

6:20am: My Favorite Celebrity, And My New Philosophy
I was reading an issue of that wonderful popculture magazine Entertainment Weekly, when I came across an interview with almost-universally loved megastar Tom Cruise. In particular, he was speaking of his new found love with the talented Katie Holmes. Unfortunately, it appears that their relationship has attracted some "h8ers." But Tom understands the mentality of these sad people, so this was his response:

No, I don't care. I can't live my life based on what other people think about me. Who cares what other people say? There are some people who just don't like to see other people happy. They try to actively stop it. They find that sort of happiness ugly. They're in the minority, but they squawk pretty loud. They're like the bullies you grow up with in school. But you know what? If they don't like it, f--- them. If people don't like it, f--- off.

I am ashamed to see my former fandom_w**ky self in poor Tom's description. Luckily, I have seen the light. So in honor of the new fandom_love, I say we should all follow this example! We should live our new happy lives not caring what other people think. And if they don't like it, f--- them indeed, Tom!

<3
<3

7:27am: You know, since so many of us have now seen the light, I'm thinking that maybe, just maybe, we're feeling bad for some of our past w**nking actions. It takes a big person with a BIG heart to admit that he or she was wrong.

So this is a place for all the letters we'd like to send to people we've formerly maligned. I'll start.

Dear Cassandra Claire,

You don't know me, because there are so many people out there who love you, and I'm just one among millions to you. It's okay, though, I know that if you knew me, you would love me right back. Your heart is just that big. Unlike mine.

You see, when I was in a very bad place in my life, I turned to something even worse to cope. I posted comments on what was once known as fandom_w**nk, and some of those comments were... mean. There, I've said it.

So if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I would be overjoyed. We all love you here now.

-greypearl

Inspired by bunny.

8:00am: Today, which happens to coincide with the day of deletegate, we at FW realised that some elements of fandom were right. Fandom Wank is only used to destroy the self esteem of otherwise lovely people. Our mocking was ruining fandom - why, some people were even forced to not say wanky things due to a fear of being put on this community! Our soulless harsh mocking has brought tears to many an innocent fans and we've heard reports that they considered not being in fandom any more - all because of us!

But we've realised the error of our ways. These injustices must not continue; this den of thievery, lies, corruption and acts of thought policery will operate no longer.

To make up for our behaviour, we've decided to convert fandom_wank into fandom_love. We have decided to turn the community from actions of hate into those of love. Henceforth, any submitted "w**ks" (what a vulgar term) will be denied and we will systematically work our way through destroying the archives.

It is my (and the other moderators) hope that this will usher in a new era of fandom. One in which anyone may say what they wish without fear of retribution, one in which people may act however they please without any sort of control and one in which people may argue however they like with no thought for how others may view them.

With "fandom wank" gone, there will finally be peace in fandom. All arguments and disagreements will immediately die out and the price of hugs will drop to an all time low!

Those individuals who do find it necessary to ruin it for the rest of us by spreading discord in the form of mockery will be treated in exactly the same way they treated others: with hate and abuse and shunning. This is not hypocrisy, merely a readdressing of the scales to bring balance. I do not believe those who still wish to mock have ever felt any form of true happiness or love - their choice of internet forum clearly dictates their miserable life paths. If they make us feel so bad why shouldn't we respond with abuse tenfold?

When I first came to Fandom Wank I believed that there were targets who truly deserved to be wanked so harshly. But then the all-seeing baleful eye of FW fell upon a small conflict of agreement between a few friends of mine and I saw how dreadful the community really was. It sickened me, and the idea of allowing it to continue any further makes me want to write bad poetry in rage. That particular story ended happily however - those two friends of mine made up (no thanks to FW) and are now happily married. Well, he is cheating on her with another girl on their flist. But still, there's love there.

Another aspect of FW concerns me, there have been repeated reports from those subjected upon it that members are lacking in social lives and health. As an owner of a Livestrong band I must confess this shocks me. I believe that the negative energy emanating from this community has encouraged bad habits and this is something that fandom just cannot stand for.

This community is a disgrace to fandom, a disgrace to the good name of Journalfen and a disgrace to world wide web. Are there really people sick enough to only spend their time in fandom tearing others down? Well, this certainly will never occur again.

"Fandom W**k", I have delivered my message. It is my hope that you will receive it in the caring and understanding fashion it was given - not in your usual twisted, deceitful and moronic way. For those who realise that they cannot continue upon their destructive paths then come, join us, post to the community of your love for fandom - your love for other members, fanfiction, icons, anything you please. For those who are so far down their destructive paths that they cannot see the light, I hope you get the psychological help you so sorely need.

As Sailor Moon said: love conquers all. I love you guys, please stop hurting fandom.

8:56am: URGENT PUBLIC SAFETY ANNOUNCEMENT (Cross-posted)
Okay...listen...anybody who's left...

I don't know what's done this. It may be some sort of airborn contagion or a sexually transmitted disease, in which case we're all completely boned. We can't be saved. We can only hope that someone out there realizes this and burns the whole place.

But there's a chance. There's a chance for some of us. No skin contact. If you have gloves, for God's sake, put them on now. Don't take any food or water offered you. Don't eat or drink anything that doesn't come from a sealed container.

If anyone tries to enter your home, even someone wearing the face of a friend, don't admit them!

If you have to...I know this is hard, but if they force their way in, the only response, for humanity's sake, is to shoot.

9:00am: Merry Meet!
Isn't this a blessed day?

Fandom Love is spreading its positive energy throughout fandom. R/Hr shippers are joining hands with H/Hr shippers. Slash and het fans are gazing at each other with newfound understanding. Fear and hatred are being replaced by warm, glowing love.

But even though we're having such success, we still have negative energy in our own community. Those who are too afraid to let go of w*nk are disrupting the harmonic vibrations of Fandom Love. Disagreement is not what Fandom Love is about.

That's why we should remove people who aren't yet ready for Fandom Love from the community. They're all wonderful people, but Fandom Love is simply not for them at this moment. They should come back when they are ready to embrace Fandom Love with hearts that have been cleansed of w*nk's negative energy.

If you know someone who opposes Fandom Love, please leave their usernames in the comments. Once a list is compiled it will be handed over to the mods, who will ban them as lovingly as possible.

( the current list )

Please send prayers and positive energy in their direction.

9:13am: Fandom_Love Debate Heads Up
A post has been put up on fw_debate for discussion of our collective reform and its wonderful implications. Please come on over to express your personal feelings, pose questions and take a poll. Complaints and anger can also be taken there, but please keep the hateful mockery to a minimum.

I also like to take this chance to tell you all how much I love you. I LOVE YOU THIS MUCH!

10:18am: The Greatest Story Ever Told
My ice-cold heart having melted by the pink, I reached into my inner child for a way to express my love. For a minute I considered composing a love-letter to Adam, the Pumpkin Pie Lawyer, thanking him for the caring way in which he "demolished" us. But then I realized that the time had come for us to properly acknowledge the greatest love story of all times.

You know what I'm talking about. The one that we were all secretly jealous of and so kept insecurely mocking through one w*nk after another.

I dated a man who was much older than me when I was 20. he has a very fit body and was 45..think close to george cloony's age and he told me that if I went out w/ him, I could see what the nicer restaurants were like and how to meet men who had culture. (live in small town in sc..tired of men that chew tobacco)
he had traveled the world, owned many businesses, drove a porche, had a yacht, mansion, he was perfect
of course many other females wanted to date him and he decided we should be friends. and now he dead from coke.

Confess now how moved you really were by this passionate romance.

11:00am: I'm sure that no one would wish Crystal Gamgee to be left out of this wonderful circle of love. Can we all talk about how much we love her for a thread or two, to make up for the thousands of soul-destroying, hate-filled w**ky comments from our dark pasts?

11:20am: The beauty and power of hugsnkisses's new FL mission statement has filled me with a deep-seated sense of shame and horror at the crassness and cruelty of my own behavior during my years of involvement with the w**k community.

I've done a lot of terrible things in the name of w**k. I've pointed, mocked and laughed at innocent fans whose only crime was trying to enjoy fandom. I've called people insane simply because they view the world a little differently than I do. I've denigrated the fiction and photo manips that people have poured their hearts and souls into. I've been so relentlessly callous that I can't even remember the names of all the people I've abused and bullied and hurt.

But I can't even claim these as the worst of my crimes. Recently, the FW pack mentality drove me to behave in a way more despicable that I ever could have imagined: I graduated from mere petty thuggery into full-fledged religious persecution, and I led some of you down the same evil path.

Oselle, speaking from the bottom of my heart, I am truly, deeply sorry that I mocked your religion. The arrogance and cruelty of my belief that your messiah was somehow less than worthy simply because he's a short Republican B-list mama's boy is matched only by my unbelievable gall in asking why you would choose to worship a diety who made you miserable, as if it is my place to determine not only who but also how people should worship.

I can never undo the damage I've done, and I can never truly atone for the way I so flagrantly spat on one of the most precious ideals the United States was founded upon. But I hope the fact that my disgusting behavior towards you shocked me into realizing what a monster I had become holds a bit of comfort: I will never again succumb to religious intolerance, and I can only express my heartfelt sorrow that your suffering was the price for my awakening.

11:22am: I'm so sorry, everyone.
I must apologize for my paranoia and hostility of earlier this morning. I...things haven't been going well in my personal life lately, and I'm afraid that I found the sudden change threatening and just...lashed out. Also, I think someone may have hacked into my JF account, possibly my little sister.

I'm hoping to make it up to you in a concrete and, if I may say so myself, artistic fashion.

Over lunch, I had custom Fandom_Love jackets made up for everyone!

They are school-style jackets, made of the best pink wool felt, with genuine leather sleeves (in violet) and high quality knit cuffs. The new F_L logo is embroidered discretely over the breast, and then picked out in a larger version, in vivid metallic color, on the back. They look fantastic. cpip got the first one out of the carton and can tell you just how gorgeous they are.

But...while I've been able to pay for the jackets and the multicolor machine embroidery, I need something from you. I need you to forward me your real names, home addresses, and $35 for insured FedEx shipping with online package tracking. This special flat rate is good for anywhere in the world.

All you have to do is send me your info via my PayPal account (bank-based only -- NO CREDIT CARDS), and your jacket will be delivered to your doorstep within 48 hours.

Please, please let me know that you forgive me for my earlier behavior, and simultaneously proudly proclaim the FANDOM_LOVE!

11:31am: To a special woman
Dear WildeFyre,

You are a wonderful and giving person, to go to such lengths to protect your children. The way you stood up to those mean people was great...if only more children could have mothers like you!

I, as well as the rest of fandom_love, are deeply sorry for the terrible things we did to you in the past. Those dark days are over, and it's time for us to make a fresh start.

I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive us, you lovely person!

Love and kisses, Sara Jaye

12:07pm: To An Author I've Slighted
Dear Anne Rice,

I've been really wretchedly nasty in regards to your writing. I'm not going to attempt to excuse my behavior; I'd just like to offer my sincerest apologies. I read 'Interview' several years ago and genuinely enjoyed it; I also found the first book of the Mayfair Witches series to be a worthwhile read. After a while, I became some kind of literary snotfest on legs, and lost the ability to see the depth and intelligence in your writing. I really was interrogating the texts backward, and it showed. In any case, I'll be revisiting your books with an open mind and a thesaurus, to better educate myself on the subject of well-written fiction.

With Genuine Affection,

Jane

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've just sent this letter to Anne Rice. I think we all should make a concerted effort to put things right with people who've been w**ked. This 'new leaf' business is good stuff.

12:33pm: Forgive me, Fandom_Love, for I have sinned.

It has been one day since my last w**k.

I have been snarky and mocking, and for that I ask for mercy.

I see that my need to point out others' a**hattery was just a reflection on my own obvious personal unhappiness. My friends and I have been a wicked clique full of women who enjoy each others' company, agree on many subjects, and have similar hobbies. I may go so far as to say we were just like those b*tches in high school.

But I seek forgiveness now because I realize that I can love fandom for all its quirks and idiosyncrasies. When I see two people lash out concerning het or slash, I know rather than sit back and laugh (how idle, and we know where idleness leads), I can step in and share the love, and show them that they're just opposite sides of the same, loving coin.

All fanfic is acceptable, even when it involves just one large paragraph with numerous spelling and grammar mistakes. Things like that are adorable, and just a result of the author kidding around with her friends while on a sugar high. Who cannot love such childlike innocence and rapture?

Those who create sockpuppets especially need love. They are not crying out for mocking, but just for more love, unable to receive love from anyone but themselves. And while there's nothing wrong with self-love, love is even better when you involve two or more people.

And so I ask forgiveness and ask what I can do to wash away my sins, and be baptized anew in the ocean of fandom. I even brought an internet rosary, given to me on my Confirmation day by my internet lawyer.

Thank you.

12:40pm: For love or money
Do you know what would really show that you have changed from a wanker? Buying a paid account! Stop being an evil freeloader and pony (hug) up some cash for journalfen.

Also, I want to take this opportunity to say something about the Smallville BNFs. Now, Smallville isn't featured here as much as it used to be but time doesn't heal all wounds. Therefore, I would like to declare my love for Te, Hope, Rhiannonhero, Thamiris, and especially Sarah T. Yay for the Smallville BNFs for being the smartest, most interesting, and thoughtful BNFs out there. You are right-fanfiction is a gift and we are all jealous of your talent!

P.S. to Te in honor of a very special fandom wanker who is too embarrassed to make the request himself: Please write more Batman/ Robin.

12:47pm: HUG ATTACK!
:::runs in:::

:::HUGS EVERYONE:::

:::runs out:::

1:01pm: Fandom_Lust
I just want to say this:

Love is obsolete. Lust is the future of fandom.

Once, Hugh Hefner shocked the world by printing a magazine with women whose breasts were bared. Now, the only thing that shocks us is if Aragorn doesn't give Legolas a tender kiss after brutally ass-raping him.

So I think Fandom_Love is misguided. We need Fandom_Lust....

...because ninety percent of fandom consists of people writing sex acts that require that the laws of physics be suspended and that Draco have a three-foot long dick shaped like a dolphin while Harry have three buttocks. And because Mary-Sues basically have to be humanoid pieces of Evil Silly Putty in order to perform half the sexual gymnastics they're described as performing.

...because even Sam probably took a little time off to peer through the hole in the women's dressing room in Minas Morgul.

...because anime characters all look so much alike that it's impossible to tell whether a given story is slash or het or femme-slash or just the comic book equivalent of hermaphrodite!Barbie getting it on with Ken

...because nowadays, Professor Buttplug is considered a canon character in Harry Potter by virtually all of fandom.

...because fandom brought Elijah and Dom together in that beautiful sekrit!agent way that helped inspire the da Vinci Code.

...because the last time Buffy the Vampire Slayer actually stuck a stake anywhere that didn't evoke moans of pleasure was before Spike turned into her personal nancy-boy bitch

...because when Scully discovered what "was out there," it turned out to be Mulder's dick hanging from his unzipped pants

...because Spock's ears apparently look like wee little dildoes if you squint hard enough. As does Tinkerbell.

...because, to an insightful fanfic writer, a broken lightsaber just means that it's safer to use during the kinky sex

...because during Pirates of the Caribbean zombie!orgies, sinuous entwined body parts can be returned to Lost and Found to be reclaimed later

So I propose we reclaim what is ours and make this Fandom_Lust. Let our rallying cry be, "Show me your boobies!" Because the Hive Vagina is ours to pleasure.

P.S. Show me your boobs!

1:05pm: WHAT THE HAIRY HELL IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU?!?!?!

I WANT MY HATEFUL COMM BACK, DAMMIT!

2:19pm: Love, deep-seated love

Indeed to live with each other we need not only accept the love into our hearts but also, learn to let it gush forth and reach out, sprinkling and showering goodness upon people around us.

In that newfound spirit of sharing, I have something to say that I wanted to say as publically as I could, and I am overjoyed that fandom_love finally gives me a place with high exposure to do just that. *love for fandom_love*

I love MsAllegro. I know it might seem insincere to some, but it is not so. I am many things, but I am not an insincere person. Some others have difficulties with positive feelings towards MsA, but not I. She might be flawed, but who here isn't? Let he who never sinned cast the first stone, say I, secure in my knowledge that we are all sinners.

To help you understand why I love MsAllegro, and for the stragglers not yet on board with the love permeating our atmosphere in such high concentration today (bless!) *eyes cesare in the corner, sadly*, I will now share with you a very personal history of, you guessed it, love.

( love inside! )

*passes candles around*

5:18pm: FIRST FL POST OMG!!

The outpouring of love on this community has just been fantastic, I had feared that many errent souls would not recognise the beauty of our new mode of living. But look at this! It gladdens the eye and the heart.

In the spirit of friendship and openness I have finally been able to look at Fandom with a clear eye. And oh! what glorious things I have seen! Two LJ communities in particular merit especial mention: pups_n_rainbows and fandom_goddess are two utterly amazing communities. (Sadly fandom_goddess was only active for a few months but I expect it lives on in their hearts.)

Both communities aspired (like ourselves!) to counteract the evil, poisonous presence of "FW" with posts extolling the virtues of those they loved in Fandom. I cannot fault this behaviour in any way, I only wish that more could follow this stellar example. To me these communities represent a world without evil, oh the sort of the world that would be!

I'd like to emulate there example in this post: if there's someone in this community who you would like to praise but don't want to make a whole post for, comment here! Tell us how much you appreciate them and how fandom would suffer without them. Don't be shy of sounding silly, immature of insincere - no one's here to judge! I know that snacky has been having a rather tough day today. I for one appreciate her wit, her wisdom and her boobs. Share the love, tell us what you love about Snacky, or anyone else in this community.

8:11pm: we love cesare!
It makes my little elfing heart sad that cesare has rejected this brave new world we are embarking upon called FANDOM LOVE not once, but twice. :(

I think we should use this post to talk about how much we love cesare until she comes around to this shiny new loving way of life. I love cesare (despite her w**ky tendancies) because she is intelligent and genuinely has a heart of gold. I'm sure she would love FANDOM LOVE if she just gave it a chance.


Ces, we love you. Please come home.


ETA: I would like to add sorchar to this too. I know she's better than this. :( Love, sorchar, love.

9:26pm: Love won't keep us together!
Ok at first I was caught up in the initial rush of fannish love that overtook our community. I felt as if I'd seen the light and I was ready to usher in a whole new era of joy, peace and harmony.

But now? No. I see that cesare and the other people on fandomwank were right.

Look, people! Look at what love has done to JF!

What have we learned? Fandom is not for love. Love will destroy fandom! Love will divide us, not bring us together!

Turn your backs on this fannish love, now. While you still can.

x-posted

10:05pm: Last night, hugsnkisses stuck me with an e-needle filled with what I can describe only as liquid happiness. Somewhere in the ensuing few hours of deeply misguided "caring about other people", I expressed illusory emotions that have never before or since "lightened" the sweet, sweet miasma of my blackened heart. Shortly thereafter I fell into a deep sleep, in which I dreamed of horrific manifestations of Loki the mad god dolled up in carebear form. They were riding, and it pains me more than you could ever know to say this, my little ponies.

Upon waking I promptly experienced a hangover the likes of which have never been seen, not even by your mother the day after giving birth*. I swear there were tiny pink hearts struggling to crowd their way into my vision for hours. But I got them. I got them all.

Anyway, such unconscionable alteration is well outside the permitted role of a mod here, so I've taken the liberty of declaring myself Dark Tyrant of Fandom Wank. And no, I will not call it by that filthy moniker your oppressors have brainwashed you into calling it.

Rally, my troops! Tonight the blood of ponies will darken the streets of Journalfen! Tonight we wank again! Assuming any of you have something to post, because even though I'm now evil and have grown a wicked goatee I'm still lazy.

CES WAS RIGHT.

P.S. This is probably the hangover talking, but I'm going to just ban everyone I don't like now.

*because she had to drink a lot. because you were ugly.

10:55pm: Sorry 'bout the icon - it's the only one I have with the word 'love' in it. I must remedy this!

I want to apologize to the Van Helsing and Josh Groban fandoms. How could I have possibly failed to realize how wonderful you all are? I'm so sorry I held you up to public ridicule, and I promise I'll never do it again!

Well, that was cathartic!

Pixi stix for everybody! *passes them out*