Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

10:27am: OMG White Wolf is trying to KILL LARPING!
White Wolf, publishers of the popular and angst-ridden World of Darkness line of roleplaying games, have announced a new licensing system for Live Action Roleplaying (LARP) events run in their universe. In short, WW wants to require people who charge a fee for entrance into a game to join its national LARP club, the Camarilla, at a cost of $20 a year, and to require that all players in such a game be Camarilla members as well. This is a wee bit controversial, since the license is unclear as to whether requesting donations to cover costs counts as charging a fee. Additionally, many people (full disclosure: your humble scrivener included) think the Cam is useless.

Consequently, eight nine many pages of hell break loose. A representative sample of the discussion: WW-is-killing-LARPing!!!, OMG-I-QUIT!11, quit-complaining-they-own-the-copyright, what-the-hell-are-they-smoking, help-help-i'm-being-repressed!11!!, and feh-this-license-is-unenforceable. (My favorite part so far is tweaker, The Amazing Armchair Lawyer, on page 4.)

3:00pm: Metaquotes wank
You knew it was coming, didn't you? That's right.

Someone makes a Harry Potter-related joke about British Rail, and someone else metaquotes it. Much snickering ensues, until brn_eyd_grl gets her knickers in a fierce twist about it, and starts wanking all over the place. Watch as people try to reason with her, to be met only with rabid ranting! Share the WTFBBQ??? of most participants! Boggle as person after person tries to explain the difference between 'mocking someone's pain' and 'dark humor as a coping mechanism!' Laugh as a clever commenter links to TOO SOON! in the Encyclopedia Dramatica!

And then she runs through the thread posting the following to everyone: "I'm done.You people do not appreciate anything. Have fun making fun of and mocking that which is tragic and those who are dead. Buh-bye!"

Sadly, she does not actually leave at this juncture. However, since she's providing a good chuckle on a day that could use it, I'm almost grateful.

I posted a couple of times here, but I don't think I was wanking...I'll be glad to move this if requested, however.

ETA: The OP has finally fallen prey to the wank, snapping with this little gem: "I lost friends in 9-11, dumbass. Pull your fucking head out of your goddamned ass and stop making blanket assumptions and statements, you godless pussy couchfuck." Charming.

9:00pm: GAFFers GAFFing the GAFFed
(This is my first wank. Watch your step, I kinda spilled the lube on the floor.)

Discussions on homophobia: always a breeding ground for wank. Even when this one started, it attracted more wanking than an adult cinema house in SF's Castro district. In fact, one of our members confused this discussion (and GAFF in general) with the aforementioned Castro Cineplex. Several of us had to forcefully explain to him that GAFF is a place for discussing bad fic and other things that suck -- it is not the place for wanking.

Well, not that kind of wanking, at any rate.

But that's another story. I bring you here to point out the more recent, and more traditional, mutual bitchslapping between the Conservative Christians and the Queer Advocates.

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Conservatives: "I don't hate homosexuals, I just think that they should refrain from homosexual behavior, and what's with all the hatred, can't you show some tolerance for my beliefs?"

Advocates: "Are you daft?"

Conservatives: "But the Bible says it's wrong, dammit!"

Advocates: "That may be true, but the Bible says lots of things, and has it occured to you that teh evul h0m0s might be closer to you than you'd every thought?"

Conservatives: "Now you're getting personal. Shut the fuck up."

Advocates: "Hey, polite discussion flew out the window two pages ago; why can't I have some fun in this thread?" (Starts singing, to the tune of the Meow Mix jingle.) "Gay gay gay gay, gay gay gay gay, gay gay gay gay GAY gay gay gay..."

Meerkats: "Your [sic] all gay, your all gay, your all gay, your all gay..." (Warning: Flash Animation.)

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(Sorry, I went a little off-topic with that last one.)

Lesbian porno fans? Check. Cruelty to animals? Check. Outtakes from "When wild animals attack"? Check. Outtakes from Shrek? Check. An audience gleefully watching the wank? check, check, and mate. Yep, this one has it all. It even has the obligatory would-be voice of reason, predictably pointing out that the discussion is headed for Fandom Wank. Oh, wait. That was just me. Everyone else here decided that if they were going to wank anyway, they might as well make it good wank.

Come in and join us! We've got plenty of buttered popcorn! (Or at least, that had better be butter...!)

10:27pm: ontheqt posts to a Beatles community, highly angry and disgusted:

was i the only one who got literally sick to their stomach when they heard puaul and u2 perfrom sgt pepper?

The community members immediately begin snarking, and not just on "puaul," whoever that is. Musical elitism + boneheaded nonsense repitition = WANK.