Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

1:10am: Baby Wonka Pedophilia Wank. . .

yumegari explodes in a blizzard of splooge on fanficrants.

"And speaking of lobotomised teenybopper fangirls, peep rule #2. ALL AGES?! Ordinarily this kind of crap that doesn't even deserve to be called writing has a million and one age restrictions, if for no other reason than to keep peoples' asses from getting SUED! Are they THIS ignorant? Well you know, I hope they end up getting sued for everything they're worth, which is a great big, steaming, smelly nothing." -yumegari

Someone call teh intarweb lawyers!

1:55am: Jude Law wang wank
Jude Law paparazzi pics. NOT WORKSAFE

In the comments, people discuss the size of Jude's schlong. Here are some highlights:( tl;dr )

2:53pm: Where Are They Now? An exclusive look at the exciting world of the H/Hr petition
This isn't Harmonian wank mostly. This is people-pretending-to-be-Harmonians wank. Other people are then outraged.

( Enter the vicious circle. )

4:04pm: Stargate: Atlantis wank
From an anonymouse:

merryish sez: "Wow, I wish a certain segment of the fandom would stop moaning endlessly about everything in the fandom not written or run by themselves or their friends."

her post seems to implicate thepouncer, wickdzoot, carolyn_claire (who as usual thinks it's all about her precious thecuttingboard community), and possibly some others, at least as many others as it would take to constitute a "clique".

What this wank is about - oldbies vs. newbies, negativity harshing one's mellow, big name fans calling out other bigger name fans. Bad science in SGA stories. Um... other stuff.

But wait, there's more. This all seems to stem from a locked post which trashed several Johnny-come-latelies to the SG:A fandom, most prominently rageprufrock who was the star of last month's SG:A wank. In the ensuing drama, alyse deleted her journal in a huff (back now); rivier went completely friendslocked (because OH NOES people not in her clique on her friendslist were commenting on her journal!); and wickdzoot announces she's doing a fandom flounce and deleting her website.

ETA: According to munchkinott we are getting three wanks for the price of one! Alyse-and-rivier-huffage is due to "That was the great SG:A newsletter 'everyone has a RIGHT to know, by the POWWA of intarwebz journalizzim that the must-know people in this fandom have borink liiiiiiiives' blow up of a fortnight ago." And there is apparently a "SPOILERS OH NOES" wank as well.

brighidestone tries to be reasonable.

girlclone mocks them all.

Alas, most of the really dishy wank is either locked, retro-locked, or deleted.

4:42pm: The Dark Side tempts FF7 fans
Final Fantasy 7 fansite ff7ac.net posts that someone's ripped the DVD-sequel (currently available in Japan only) and it's been posted on various torrent sites for download.

Wank sparks in the comments over whether downloading it makes you a true fan or not, proclamations of "I won't/will download it!" along with the 50-odd comments of "link plz!" (and various spoilers, or comments parading as spoilers.) People call each other names, stand on moral high grounds, and type in netspeak.

Not the most dramatic thing in the universe, but still funny.

10:51pm: Cheeringcharm has a community called A Chapter A Day. On the surface, it appears to be a community for, you know, discussing the Harry Potter books a chapter at a time. Just so we're all clear, here is a sampling of TEH RULES from the userinfo page:

THIS IS NOT A SHIPPING COMMUNITY.
This is not a community to debate the logic of your ship and the idiocy of other ships. There are plenty other LJ communities that are created for that purpose alone. Go there. Don't bring your beligerent shipping attitude here. If you want to cite examples of what you think shows a potential Remus/Sirius relationship in PoA, feel free. Even a 'this is where it all started for Ron and Hermione for me' is fine. It is when simple comments become a raging debate that we will step in.

No character bashing. We all have our favorites, but as soon as you start bashing a character, or a user for their preferences, your post will be deleted. Continue to do it and you will be banned.

Simple enough rules to follow right? But what if you're a Harmonian? Harmonians don't NEED NO STINKIN' rules! What ACAD seekritly is is a forum for disgruntled H/Hr shippers to bitch and moan about how awful the book is and how useless JKR is, and especially how much Ron sux0rz.

Shocolate decides to lighten things up a bit by commenting on the things she likes that other people hate, usually Ron, or Ron/Hermione, or *gasp* Harry/Ginny. But once she made the mistake of saying a naughty word, oh noes! So Cheeringcharm laid the modly smackdown on her, because they only talk about canon on ACAD (which naturally includes Harry/Hermione!) Later, Shocolate thinks it's a shame that only H/Hr shippers do the summaries, and other people don't necessarily agree.

Recently, snark filled commentary on Chapter 24 was posted. Cheeringcharm hates it, of course (the chapter, not the snark). But many people come out of the woodwork to talk about how much they loooooove it, especially the Harry/Ginny kiss, especially Shocolate. Aww, Cheeringcharm isn't happy that everyone doesn't hate the book as much as she does! ( cut in case she deletes it ) Poor Cheeringcharm forgot to label her community 'only for Ron HBP haters'. Ever since then she's been mostly quiet, probably because she can't really think of anything else to smack Shocolate down for, but keep an eye on her journal and the community for wank once the summarizers reach the end of the book.

One has to wonder why Cheeringcharm even bothers to read the Harry Potter books, since she hates them so much. Oh wait, she's a Harmonian, nevermind! Too bad she didn't stay out of "pontificating, theorizing, analyzing, predicting, squeeing, praising or any other -ing verb in regards to HP" like she threatened to.