Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

10:10am: Fanficrants feeds a troll...what else is new?
A brand-spankin' new user who calls herself Missey3455 posts to Fanficrants about how MEAN people are and how she just wants reviews for her "Arthur" fanfiction.

The usual crowd at fanficrants screams "troll" but Missey is persistent in her replies.

Then it comes out that Missey believes Arthur talks to her.

Ah...fanficrants. You bring the wank and the weird.

3:53pm: The Castlevania Dungeon Forum community is usually a fairly non-wanky bunch, considering the other wanky bastards out there. About the only things that get them going are discussions about new games and bitching about the story retcons the producer made a couple years ago. Basically, he took four games that really didn't make sense out of the timeline. All of them were after he made the game that pretty much redefined Castlevania, Symphony of the Night. This doesn't stop people from calling them "classic".

These confused and annoyed some people. They've mostly quieted down, though, with the most recent one being mostly on the side of IGA. They go on for eleven pages anyway. (A troll does show up at the end whining about how much he dislikes IGA and is a drama queen. However, he is quickly banned.) The first few are fairly old, but entertaining anyway, if only for them all trying to make sense of the story and the inevitable overblown statements of IGA's arrogance.

However, the new wank is all about the new PS2 game, Curse of Darkness. About how it's getting bad reviews (and how it will suck) and about the demo (and how it will suck). There's a slightly older one about the trailer (and how it will suck). Endless fun!

Apologies if this is a little disconnected, but I was trying to round up everything I could find.

5:43pm: Usagi Kou related wank? No way!
We all know what comes with Sailor Moon wank, don't we?

Usagi Kou related wank, of course!

The Sailor Moon Pocky Box has several articles covering the major dramas and wankers within the Sailor Moon community. Naturally, Usagi Kou is shining brightly amongst the drama articles, which brings us to our wank.

Gothicanime would like you to know that they are not a minion of Usagi Kou.

Neoqueenserena adds her two cents for publicity and remind you all that "luna is me friieeeend! Dun be meeen cuz shes muh friieeend!one"

We have a calling out of one of the Pocky Box members, Eudial (endymion_sama). We have the abundant usage of emoticons, piss poor grammar, and netspeak. We also have jabs at the most important achievement in life. Ever: getting laid.

It's small, I know. So to compensate, I give you Kakyuu Kou vs Kou Minions wank to go with it.

lolzdrama must be having much to talk about.

Note: Don't bother looking at neoqueenserena's user profile, or any of them for that matter, if you're on dial up.

Edit: Neoqueenserena's entry has been bahleeted. Unfortunately, I am screencapless.

Edit 2: Gothicanime has friend's locked her entries. Sadly, I do not have screencaps of these either.

7:07pm: VG Cats and the Philosopher's Wank
So, Scott Randsome of VGCats posts a new comic that is, basically, a Harry Potter/Fullmetal Alchemist crossover, in which Harry calls Ed Oedipus. All is well on the VGCats Livejournal feed until tenshihan shows up and says, "and none of you morons even know what Oedipus means. Fuck all you ignorant bastards. That was the best rip in the whole comic."

Wank about Oedipus, Google, grammar, and the "bait and switch" of internet insults (I don't even know) ensues.

7:46pm: Oh, Fanficrants...
Ok, Fanficrants, I know yesterday was Wank Amnesty day, but you don't have to try and make up for lost time. Honest.

Cookies > Sex

7:56pm: rahedion_woif posts a small essay on the mechanics of male genitalia. All is going swimmingly until suzanami responds with how 'i am a [straight very non feminist] chick and agree 100% with every biological comment you made.'

From there, rahedion_woif responds with the somewhat incoherent

Maybe it's because I've had some rather bad experiances with the real man hating hairy stinky bra-hating lesbian sort of feminists. The ones who believe that if women don't get every luxury a man has, and then more because 'OMFG, WE BEAR THE CHILDREN'. Yes you do, you bear the children, and we men put up with nine months of your weird cravings, strange emotional changes and odd personality changes.

And then we put up with eighteen years of your criticism for not raising the children exactly how you think we should.

Oooh, and throw in the whole 'agree with me or you don't get sex' crap that so many women have adopted as general practice. That's just wrong, yo, just wrong.

Need I spell out what went down from here?

10:49pm: The Wank that Wouldn't Die
Just in case anyone was about to forget the Harmony wanknarcissam posted on Friday, Caina's sister has set up a new LiveJournal to make sure the name calling and general asshatery don't die down.

HMS FWNLOC, as the sis is calling herself, uses her first post to order everyone on HermionePotter.net and hms_stfu to stop obsessing over their mutual animosity and then uses her second post to... obsess over their mutual animosity.

( See sis accuse others of immaturity! )

( Taste the delicious irony! )

( And don't miss the idle threats! )

The comments on this thread are growing exponentially, so there's sure to be more wank in the offing.

ETA Part IV: For those of you arriving after the bahleetion, here are the screencaps in zip format thanks to feenix.

ETA Part III: C**** / Caina / She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is Leaving Teh Fandom!!1 because people are mean to her, and she needs to work on her masterpiece.
Where will we get our wank now?

ETA: Deleted.

ETA: HMS FWNLOC comments on Fandom_Wank in the comments, although, in fairness to sis, it seems like she might have been goaded into it.
FWNLOC's take of f_w: That just means there's 3000 idiots that need telling off then.