Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

9:09pm: I just know so many of you, when you got to that chapter in HBP, spent hours and hours wondering just how Blaise Zabini could be black, right? It puzzled you, didn't it? And surely the only way for you to accept a black Blaise Zabini involved a lot of complicated leaps and jumps and stuff like that. Nevermind that Blaise's dear mum had several husbands or you know, Blaise was mentioned all of once in the previous 5 books. No. That's just not good enough an explanation. It just seemed wrong, right?

Well, fpb thinks a black Blaise Zabini just doesn't fit in the Hogwarts World and by golly, he's going to explain why using lots of expensive vocabulary words and references to C.S. Lewis, Ents, and Macbeth, because that allows him to show off.

WOE BETIDE YOU, PLEBE, IF YOU DON'T AGREE WITH HIM.

Course, for full disclosure, perhaps he should have mentioned his own fic featuring an Italian Blaise? Oh, but surely such a clever fellow wouldn't allow something as silly as that to cloud his views.

P.S. Please remember, we do not troll. And in this case? It would most definitely be a waste of your time. Let him jerk off in peace. We're just here to point and laugh in between wiping away the drool with dorito bags.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/fpb/141034.html

( And just in case, copied here )

11:44pm: Teeny-but-fun Gravitation Review Wank
Gurabiteshiyon.net is a fanfiction.net-esque site that only archives Gravitation fanfic. On this website, newbie yukistwin posts a story in "dream format", which apparently means that punctuation is optional.

This inspires some fun reviews:

Anon 1:
Periods are your friend.
Ellipses are not.
This story really needs a mend.
Stop with the dot dot dot.


Paragraphs are good, too.
And other punctuation.
A beta would help this goo.
Right now, there's no fascination.

Fan DyingAngel, who apparently also types in "dream format" calls the first anon "bitchy". Which inspires another Anon to defend Anon #1 and a tl;dr review on the subject of ellipses.

Then comes this review by "SHUICHI'S MAD!"
You know if people read Eiri's disclaimer at the top of the story they would see that HE TELLS YOU IT"S NOT IN PROPER FORMAT YOU*&%#@% BUNCH OF #%#^@!!*&@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So don't rip up my Yuki just because YOU didn't take 10 seconds to read the fine print!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT"S RIGHT EIRI, I GOT YOUR BACK!!!!

Well, isn't that special?

ETA: BALEETED!