Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

1:00am: me, myself and I
It's an old story: HP fangirl creates sock, plagiarises (self?), denounces sock, confesses to all, and thoroughly underwhelms audience.

(from a mouse to your screens, dramione drama)

Stone the infamous slytherinjoli, er... cs_kurumi.

It was me all along! Woe. Regret.

The chorus: "I don't care!" "I care even less" "I'm not even conscious!" and further illustrated apathy.

eta: The Cult of Nice vs the Mean Girls

3:07am: Hellsing wank.
neko-youkai04 posts a rather long, uncut piece of fanfic to the Hellsing community. A few people (including me) ask for an LJ-cut until Mr. Mitts puts it a little more forcefully:

"Here's What You Can Do...
LJ-CUT...
DELETE THIS SHIT...
KILL YOURSELF...
Do one of them. Now."

The original entry disappeared within about three seconds of this comment being posted. *tear* But lo! The wank is not lost for a friend of neko-youkai04 came to defend her honour --

Shini02: OMG, that was really mean.
Rest of the community: Loll.

EDIT: Bahleeted already, dagnammit. Anyone save the page?

EDIT #2: ( The U GUYS R MEEN post. Thanks, lil_monk )

ETA#3: Attack of the anons.

ETA#4: Partial transcript and screenshot. Mucho gratitude to lil_monk and OwlMouse_in_shower.

1:09pm: Dominic Deagan rape wank
*write up taken from wank_report cause I'm too lazy to do it myself. But it was taking too long to show up here( the wank starts on page 3)

Over on this thread in the Dominic Deegan forums

http://forums.keenspot.com/viewtopic.php?t=84069

Backstory: one of the female characters in the comic is revealed to have undergone a rape at the hands of a recently introduced character many years earlier.

For the first couple of pages, there's friendly discourse on the moral issues (namely, raping someone to save their life). Enter Fuego Fish. Fuego Fish accuses everyone in the thread of defending rape, and accuses Mookie (Dominic Deegan's author) of being a hack writer and a misogynist. Several forumites respond. Everyone just gets angrier and angrier. Fuego Fish later posts a low-quality comic in the comments which involves a stick figure raping Mookie.

It's a healthy sized wank. 200+ comments and growing.
yaminekohyousai on lj

3:31pm: Full Metal Alchemist- The Wank that Keeps on Giving.
This wank combines three of my favorite wank subjects- FMA, yaoi, and shipping wars.

So it all starts when Milk and a Spoon on ZOMGFTA disses popular FMA fanfic/fanart archive Touka Koukan for its "weird pairings". People soon agree with him:

( ZOMG I H8 UR PAIRINGS! I H8 YOAI! )

Of course, the real wank doesn't begin until the TKKN defenders and mods come in!

( YAOI IZ TEH AWEOSME AND U R WROOOONG!!!1!! )

( And No Wank Would Be Complete Without BAd Elricest to Make Your Point )

Behold the Badly Drawn Elricest Dôjin that makes the forum shit their pants! Sockren, the TKKN webmaster comes in, and the BBS mod freezes the thread!

And of course, you have to get Sockren and Kaltia's and Kalika Maxwell's opinion on the whole thing. They ARE the Touka Koukan mods, and they had to do SOMETHING...

( The Message They Left on thir Site )

-Armand

7:47pm: Of WoW and Moos.
I snagged this little wank from childfree. Pardon me if I get things wrong, my boyfriend plays WoW and I don't, so I don't know what a bunch of the terms mean.

Anyway, on the forums, Lox posts an angry thread explaining why she's killing greys for those who "give a sh1t".

It turns out that she let her pwecious baybee play on a PVP server for her birthday, foolishly expecting her child to be treated like royalty when for the most part, a PVP server serves as a means to fight other players.

So Lox declares "war" by proclaiming "ALL horde will pay" for bothering her fruit of wonders.

Teva tries to reason with Lox by saying "Do on to others as they are doing to you", to which Lox promptly says "shove it!".

On forum page two, blame is somehow shifted to a guild (or maybe some other players), to which members of the guild start nitpicking at Lox's spelling and AOL speak.

It takes until page four and five for people to mention Lox's parenting skills. Lox just snobs it off and a mini-wank about who knows more history of the Night Elves is made.

Drood makes a good point, though:

To all the people issuing complaints about PvP, the festival, or anything else in this topic:

Cry more.

Edit: Bahleeted! I don't have any screen caps... sorry guys!

Edit 2: The first two forum pages were saved and can be viewed here.