Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

10:04am: Readers are such sheeple, warnings aren't enough
So, BSG season 2 ended with a bang (or a bizarre whimper, depending on who you talk to) last week, leaving lots of fodder for fan fiction authors for the next seven months. Lots of fodder for dark, angsty fan fiction.

abelard369 is one of many Starbuck/Apollo authors who jumps on the bandwagon and writes dark, smutty fan fiction. I don't know if it's based on the revelations from the season finale, because while she posts her announcement about her fan fiction in beyond_insane, a public Starbuck/Apollo community, her story is SO DARK AND SMUTTY that readers must friend her journal to read it.

That's only semi-wanky: her reasoning isn't really included in the post, and I initially shrugged and moved past since I don't friend random strangers just to read a piece of fan fiction. It's when readers start challenging her as to her reasons that the joy emerges:

( Because readers are sheeple and I must protect them! )

( And the mice get involved )

Fun from all sides. And growing!

6:49pm: World of Warcraft Wanker: "Bouncing Boobies Bad!"
Here at F_W, we all like boobies, right? Especially bouncing boobies? Well, WoW player wanker Lumen is clearly not one of us:

I think the [female Nightelf's hop] animation should be taken out of the game entirely and replaced with a new one. Either that, or turn it into an emote. The animation is involuntary and it's existance just damages the reputation of the female Nightelves, Blizzard and their MMORPG. A lot of the /silly voice clips are pretty obscene too, but they're not involunary like the Nightelves bounce animation; hence, why I don't have an issue with them.

(snip)

Why does the female Nightelf have to be synonymous with sex? Why can't some of you understand that there's players out there who don't want their female Nightelf to look like a call girl? The animation looks out of place and ridiculous. All I ask is for you guys to allow us (the players) to choose whether or not we want to do the boobie bounce.

Lumen also wants us to know that he is "a male player with a girlfriend," just in case anyone might equate his dislike of the jiggling mammaries with Teh Gay.

Twenty-three pages of titty wank ensue. Highlights of the jug jizz:

( Boobies = Cheerleaders =/= Sex! )

( Bouncing =/= Sex! Little girls bounce! )

( Bounce = Happy )

( The Happy Dance =/= The Boobie Dance )

And that's just on the first page. Then we have the typical installation debate: "Uninstall the game if you don't like it!" "No, I shouldn't have to uninstall!" Lumen points out that his post is on the Suggestions Forum, so he has every right to, oh, make a suggestion, to which others reply that they have every right to disagree with his suggestion. Xiria suggests that Blizzard allow everyone to bounce (yeah!). Religion makes its requisite appearance. The definition of the word "idiot" is debated. A bunch of people blame the middle schoolers for hijacking the kerfluffle and for bumping the thread. Endless debate ensues over who wins, who is stupid, who is retarded, and who should quit fucking talking. And people, including the OP, beg others to let the thread die, but can't resist coming back for more themselves.

More highlights:

( Bouncing boobs = good physics )

( I'm a porn-watching Mormon, so call my church and e-mail me! )

( Yo' girlfriend is ugly! )

( The real reason Lumen is protesting the boobie bounce )

( WTF?! )

( Trogdor? Is that you? )

( Bonus reference to the Valentine's Day WoW wank! )

All this boobie wank makes me want to do a little happy dance. With lots of bounce and jiggle.