Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

12:30am: Emerson is So, So Hawt!
Emersonspartz.net.

I'd heard of the Emerson Spartz fangirling, but I thought it was a bit of joking.

It's.... oh god... there's someone there claiming to be Emerson's girlfriend and some of the other members don't believe her, and the fangirls are fighting with the random posters who wander in to tell them they don't know Emerson, and threads titled things like "Emerson is a self-absorbed egotistical maniac" or "To the ppl who hate Emerson", and... *whimpers*

11:31am: Knorgwank
I was going to post this in clairvoyantwank, but the second page changed my mind.

One of Knorg's pornfics is posted in New Releases by an anonymous poster: Knorg is the GAFFer who goatse’d the entire board and who ceaselessly attacks anyone who gets the better of him (keeping him busy). This is going to be posted anonymously for that reason.

All is going well while Cleric and Sennet and a couple of other people have a conversation about the mechanics of the whole thing.

Then Knorg appears!

( His response )

Everything stays pretty calm, until an anon says:

Thanks for the trojan asshole. Hopefully you get banned.

My stupid little bother thought it was a joke and clicked it.

Instant wank!

Discussion of "Your little brother shouldn't be looking at this site, it's adult-only" and accusations of hermaphrodicy ensue! Read all about it!

5:55pm: "Wah, wah, they didn't give me as much free publicity as I wanted!"
Over on the Comicon message board, some guy named Keith Klein is apparently horribly offended that an article about his (independent) comic got bumped off the main page of The Pulse, a comic news site somehow affiliated with Comicon.

He starts off somewhat coherent, albeit whiny and overly dramatic ("The comic industry is going to fall...it would be dead right now if it weren't standing on legs made of debt!"), but after a few people, including a guy named Nat, start taking apart his posts and pointing out not only the flaws in his logic, but also that he's coming across as a real jerk, he quickly deteriorates into childish retorts ("I'm glad I'm not your parents..."), name-calling ("Gnat, move out of your parents basement. Start your life. Please."), and the inevitable Nazi comparisons ("You're a pro among Gnats! Listening to the spin and parroting what you read from the other Goosesteppers here. Congrats!"). Eventually, he devolves completely into a five-year-old:

He, he, he!!!

GNAT...GNAT...GNAT!

Bzzzzzzzzzzzz! Bzzzzzzzzzzzz! Bzzzzzzzzzzzz!

GNAT!

Finally, he leaves: "Bye all...it's been fun stirring up your little world for a few days!"

He's really the only wanky one in the entire thread--everyone else responds to him with logic, even if they do get a bit snarky after a while.

As a disclaimer, I've never heard of this guy before; a friend of mine linked me to the post to share the amazing whininess with me.