Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

10:35am: Phantom butterfly vampire wank

Gerard Butler (probably best known at this point from The Phantom of the Opera) has extremely devoted fans who call themselves "Tarts." They hold conventions, show up at movie sets, they swarm talk-show tapings, and have started ganging up at film festival screenings so heavily that they're actually getting mentioned in news articles. Frequently they get into contests of oneupmanship--I met him at the taping, well I got him to kiss me, well I met his mother, and so on--at the gerardbutler.net forums. I'll digress for a moment to tell you my favorite story is how they once said that he was a "precious butterfly" who brought them together to, I presume, stare at him while he flutters around in a Mason jar. This was before they printed out several hundred pages of forum threads, IIRC, bound them together, and presented them to him.

(Wait, I lied. My favorite story is about the article where a Tart actually told a journalist that she has life-size dolls of him.) (ETA: AIEEEEE.)

"Does Gerard Butler think his fans are ‘crazy’?"

Yes. Yes, he does.

As the OP at ONTD then notes, "What was their reaction? According to the person who e-mailed me, they were horrified and set up new rules for their community." The rules (see link for full text) were leaked by an anonymous tipper:

Somebody e-mailed all of this to me, afraid to speak out because she didn’t want to be banned from the community! [My note: The forums are already pretty well known for "disappearing" posts that don't toe the party line.] To quote her:

However, know in advance that, if you accept this mission a legion of porculent grandmas and twiggy tweens will plague your life. It's drama...but a) they were asking for it and b) I firmly believe that it is just the brand of petty-bitchery that makes ONTD such giddy fun.

Petty bitchery, you say? Here begins the naming of names. (Scroll down to "LadyKatheryne.")


ETA: It's IMDB wank, but you get to see the players in action.

"What kind of weirdo would go chasing off to Scotland?" "I DID!" And they're off. Hang in there as the conversation changes from "You're crazy" to "No, we're not" to "Oh God, it's the gb.net people!" and thence to "Also, you are OLD."

The Man is changing like a magnificent Butterfly! I told y'all.

Thanks to Witchery Bitchery for the extra links.

7:37pm: A rather small wank, but I think it's all we're going to get out of it.

shes_unreal tells fanficrants that SONGFICS ARE LAAAAAAAAAAAAME.

People object.

Then it gets personal.

It seems to have slowed, but may perk up again.