Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

1:57am: Minor House Shipwank
(contains some spoilers for the latest episode, so beware)

It all begins when jenuyne posts a quick question in house_md:I just have a quick question. I haven't watched the House episodes from the very beginning so that might be why I'm a little clueless, but who has Dr. House had a relationship with? I'm assuming it was just Cuddy?( Cut for spoilers for the latest episode )

People answer. Then i_heart_cameron (who happens to have the ugliest icon I've ever seen. No, really. I mean it. Fear the icon) comes along with info on 'a few basic things' about the show:( Cuddy is a lesbian and has bigger balls then all of the males )

sincerly_juicy doesn't agree. About Cuddy being a lesbian, that is. This follows a very bizarre conversation in a fangirl dialect I've never seen before (ETA: It's been pointed out the argument is in Pig Latin), which ultimately descends to House/Cuddy vs. House/Cameron wankery. ( they interact )

sincerly_juicy decides to share the link with her fellow-shippers over at house_cuddy.( they all mock )

Then i_heart_cameron shows up and starts trolling the comm by posting truly horrific animated pictures of Dr. Cuddy.

What would Cuddy say? *shakes head*

First wank. Please be gentle.

ETA: Deleted link to her LJ, userinfo says she's 16. Oh well. Many thanks to smut_queen for pointing it out. *g*

2:00am: Mild "The Princess Diaries" wankage on IMDB
luvsparty1216 posts an innocent question on The Princess Diaries message board on the Internet Movie Database, asking what the "green thing" was that Mia ate for dinner during a scene in the movie.

Startanew replies that it is Sorbet, but then AnneHathawaylover answers that "i think it might be mint because it gets rid of the taste of the corse before that so it might be i dont know but when i go to dinners like that it si mint"

gingersnaps1 then posts "from the looks of your grammer, it doesn't look like you would go to a dinner that would have that particular course."

gingersnaps1 also goes on to state how her five-year-old attends etiquette classes at the Ritz Carlton.

The thread quickly goes into wank about why gingersnaps1 would want to send her 5-year-old to etiquette classes.

My favourite comment? When curlyQ379-1 asks gingersnaps1 "if your thirty or so, how come your on a message board for the princess diaries?"

The thread can be found here: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0247638/board/nest/33626486

Well, at least it makes a change from HP wank.

12:29pm: Minor millyfan wank. Ah, for fun.

2:19pm: Bad definitions of "yaoi", worse attempts at humor, and CUTE!

Ganked from a helpful mousie at wank_report

Keysha-chan posts an INTENSELY CUTE FMA pic depicting Chibi!Human!Al hugging Chibi!Ed.

All is "OMG CUTE *ded*" in the comments... Until EvilManiak chimes in with...

Good job, but I HATE yaoi =__=

...And we're off!

Heathenesque to the overreactive rescue!

Note to EvilManiak:  If you have to state that you were joking, 9 times out of 10, it wasn't funny and the explanation won't actually help.  Not to mention, following up your misunderstood attempt at humor with an even worse attempt... Not good.

Not large, but rather heated, IMHO.

4:51pm: Well it had to happen sometime...
Kingdom Hearts II wank: come one, come all!

I posted once in clairvoyantwank, and my mystical powers were spot on :D

In the Kingdom Hearts II LJ community, this dumb bint makes a stupid post:

Stop making the characters gay for eachother.
they are not into eachother.

...Yeah. So.

People respond funnily, the gem being the essay snark a bit down, and she finally starts replying, culminating in a second follow-up post.

And a third.

She even pulls the age card.

You know what? I'm just gonna go ahead and side with the slashers because it's SQUARE-ENIX, FOR GOD'S SAKE. You do not GET much gayer than Final Fantasy, dudes.

Edit! Apparently she's deleting comments, too.

Edit the Second! First two posts deleted, but screenshot here.

SHE POSTED AGAIN WHAT THE HELL.

5:30pm: nqdonne, SUPRA-GENIUS!
Over on i_wank, nqdonne posts about her LJ rant on JKR's treatment of female characters that got wanky..

Nothing wrong with that, right?

Unless you're trying to avoid wank People grumble about the new "posting on i_wank excludes you from being posted on fandom_wank rule.

The mods have a change of heart

7:33pm: Joe Rogan: Wankier Than You
Basically, I just stumbled across this at VH1's Best Week Ever Blog and was dumbfounded at the sheer wankiness.

The short version: Joe Rogan dives head-first into the wank when his entire fanboard starts to splooge all over a former poster when they discover ex-poster was, HORRORS, a fatty. It proceeds into trolling, lots of Anti-Semitism (including jokes about the Holocaust) and Rogan being happier than a pig in ... well.

VH1 provides plenty of the wanky links but, if you really want to torment yourself, just surf the thread for yourself.

You might remember Joe Rogan from Fear Factor or maybe from when he trolled some kid on myspace. Maybe even from the one good project he was involved with, Newsradio. I will now always remember him as that guy who is WAY too into his fanboard/spends too much time on the Internet and who doesn't have the slightest clue what the word "karma" means.

9:53pm: "I barely have any skin left on my palm!"
Yes, Supernatural fandom, we have arrived!

I'm not exactly sure what's going on here, but some panties are certainly in a bunch.

So first traveller makes a filtered post (since unlocked) about fandom politics, and her distate thereof. I tried reading the whole thing, but the lack of capital letters hurt my brain, so here's the gist of it:

( On the momentous creation of a filter )

Meanwhile, ethrosdemon's ears are burning:

( 'I know all you want desperately is for me to pay attention to you. I officially am.' )

SPN wank! MY LIFE IS NOW COMPLETE.