Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

4:24am: CSI Fanfic Wank Ahoy!
Grabbed from W_R. I have some CSI wank, but none about the finale. I shall call your attention to exhibit A: an extremely short fanfic (if you can even call it a fic) featuring Greg and Nick, written by gregandnickfan. The commenters aren't exactly sure how to react. Some are annoyed, some call troll, and some are oddly amused. One commenter asks GNF's age and he claims to be a 45 year-old male. For any interested, the rest of the story can be seen here in Part 2 and Part 3. The current theory is that GNF is parodying a certain slash fic written by csi_nikki, found here, in which Nick wakes up as a dog.

Nikki finds out about this and shows up in the comments of GNF's latest try at fanfic seen here.
At first Nikki says to ignore him... and then proceeds to call him a gay freak. Which is rather interesting, considering Nikki is a slash author.

The wank closes with people wishing to start the fandom over and to return to "the good ole days".

This last installment was posted yesterday. Will we hear more from GNF in the days to come?? Only time will tell.

ETA: Upon checking GNF's profile, I have discovered that the theory may be correct.

ETA Part Two: Thanks vomitymcpuke for pointing this out. GNF apologizes to the comm. And by apology, I mean bitchslap... with poor grammar.

ETA Episode III: And GNF has deleted his LJ! But before he departed, he had a question for the comm. Why was the other parody fine but mine wasn't?!

11:56am: BPAL hate memes smell like...wank!
Well, thanks to a 'Craptastic' mouse at Wank Report (and additonal reporting by Onaga), we now know that Bpal_whore started an annon hate meme for the oh-so-wankable BPAL fandom.

It starts with complaints about fans... Moves on to the mods..and happily jumps to just jealous', relationships, obligatory defense posts, cowards, tearful apologies, CAPSLOCK OF RAGE, and the pleas for everybody to quit wanking and play nice.

Along the way we see fat fans, some truths (which I think some wankas called in an earlier bpal wank) Harry Potter slash fics, and a host of good points which boil down to it's just perfume and get over it. Pull up some popcorn and join the saner fans if you'd like...it seems to still be going on. It's pretty standard as far as both hate memes and bpal go.

Still, I had to post it because one bravely annonymous soul speaks a Perfect Truth that can be applied to any fandom, anywhere, at any time: Apparently, my fandom is full of hate filled, lifeless, pathetic, simpering, whining, bullying mother fuckers.

ETA: This wank LOSES. laerwen informs us that they've invoked Snacky's Law.

Son of ETA: Who says there isn't porn in this fandom?

3:25pm: Battlestar Galactica spoiler wank
Nabbed from wank_report, and posting by request of an accountless friend who thinks BSG fandom is shamefully overlooked by F_W. Note: I don't follow BSG, so apologies for any errors. This is a near-copy of the report with links and spelling fixed; the "I" refers to the anon who reported.

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Ah, Battlestar Galactica never fails.

I'll warn up front the wank is about spoilers and there are spoilers for BSG Season 3 in here.

Meet Michael Hinman, he writes for the site syfyportal.com.

He wrote an article about some spoilers/rumors for BSG season 3. So far so good. Then he posted a teaser and link at the BSG News community on LJ.

Problem is, both the subject line of the post and the teaser he wrote spoiled two things that will happen. Several posters asked him if could please put that under a spoiler cut since many people are trying to stay spoiler free. He does not take this request well.

He argues and argues with everyone there. The number and length of his posts is something else. I don't want to post highlights here since most of them relate to the spoilers in question. I'm polite like that. I will share a few of his gems.

"Oh, and another spoiler ... BSG is coming back for a third season in October."

"I am too busy of a person to get into a point-by-point debate with anyone."

I believe this may the best post of the thread:

"So, do you tell pro-choice advocates that to be polite to the unfair demands of other people, they should be pro-life? How is completely giving in to the bitches of two people, and some add-on somewhere, being polite? If your life isn't exciting enough that you have to create some drama, create it with someone else's post. Not mine."

The mod chimes in here, and it only increases the wank.

Nevertheless, michaelhinman edits the first post to put it under a cut -- but neglects to change the subject line, which is still spoilery.

He also continues wanking and wanking. When in doubt attack people for not posting with their REAL NAMES:

"Oh please spare me. It takes NO guts to come onto an online forum with a fake name like "HRLO" and attack someone because of some strange desire to have drama in their lives. I came and simply posted something from the site, which had a BSG news story, into a community that I have been a part of that publishes ... guess what!! ... BSG news."

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And per the request of the commenters here, don't miss 50 Things You Probably Didn't Know About Michael Hinman!