Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

12:09pm: JKR Ruined Draco's Armani Suit
Thanks to estrella for pointing this out to me. petterspider started a thread on Fiction Alley Park:Which character(s) do you think JKR ruined? There's a poll with many options, but the real point of this is to rant about how JKR can't write Draco Malfoy as well as Cassandra Claire, and that Draco should wear an Armani suit.

"I think Draco's (yes not Malfoy's :P) character has been completely slaughtered by JKR !! (Yes, I just read the "Draco Triology"...) He has been far better developed by writers such as Cassandra Claire where he is portrayed as the erm *hero* but a complete "bad-boy" all the same (with a BRILLAINT sense of humour!). So rather than being like Harry, with his selfless heroism, Draco is seen as somebpdy who would sacrifice himself for someone else, but be dragged kicking and screaming to the altar all the same.

In the books, Draco's obviously evil, and can't *magically* become a hero , but JKR has potrayed him as being a rather unsophisticated and unintelligent villainous git (This impression has been worsened by his portrayel in the movies, especially PoA). It would have been so much more fun to have him as a slick, extermely sophisticated and witty villain with a love for Armani (etc) "

Some of the other posters attempt to give petterspider a basic introduction to reality. Petterspider doesn't get it. Until that is, she does get it and decides to pretend everyone else is just misunderstanding her thread topic.

( 'Saying JKR slaughtered Draco because she didn't make him witty and sophisticated with a love for Armani is like saying that George Lucas slaughtered Luke Skywalker because he didn't make him a genius with a passion for folk music.' )

( 'ah well, you obviously haven't read any books with third person narration centering around more than one character have you?' )

( 'I guess I was just a bit fevered about my love for leather pants Draco when I started this thread.' )

( 'I usually don't throw my academic background at people (because that's lame and I'm cringing as I type) but I'm an English Lit major' )

( HBP!Lupin is a pedophile! )

9:58pm: IMDb brings all the wank to the yard.
Looking for wank on the Interned Movie Database messageboards is, of course, not unlike looking for penguins in Antarctica - it's not always immediately visible, but when you find it you always find a lot of it.

As such, I wouldn't normally bother reporting it. But this one amused me.

It started in a fairly straightforward way. On the X-Men 3 message boards (I will add here that the entire thread is spoiler-free) a poster named brinycbri starts a thread entitled Mutants were not part of Noah's ark..

I'm sorry, but to hear all this about mutants and different things happening in this movie that is no where referenced to the bible...i think thie movie is blasphemous...and anyone seeing this will most likely go to hell..prove to me that God created a mutant and i'll agree with you, otherwise, i'll pray for you...

He quickly follows up with an expansion of his position.

Of course I had to do it, these are things I stand for, and I hope you understand why I feel this movie, like the davinci code, should have been made illegal to make and see

The reactions are... pretty much what you would expect. A couple of verses of 'it's just fiction', a quick chorus of 'hey, brinycbri is a troll'. Insults are slung around, people harp on the bible's contradictions, and all is perfectly boring and normal on the IMDb message boards.

And then the wonderful (if semi-literate) lazerustheduck decides to take up the original post's challenge.

Prove there were mutants OK simple it is in Genesis.

6:2 That the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose.
6:3 And the LORD said, My spirit shall not always strive with man, for that he also is flesh: yet his days shall be an hundred and twenty years.
6:4 There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown.

Children begat by the sons of god and the daughters of men. A mutant species.

Of course, I can't really endorse this position. As a true Marvel Geek, it's blatantly obvious to me that the above verses are actually referring to the Eternals, and possibly the Deviants and Inhumans as well. Still, it was nice to see a coherent argument.