Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

8:24am: Oh, for Randy's sake! aka short SomePos wank
Something Positive is an immensely popular, often sarcastic, usually funny, and occasionally touching webcomic. Its fans, however, don't seem to be able to take a joke.

It all starts when Randy draws a two part comic from the point of view of Dahlia, the main character's disabled sister. The two comics aren't funny, and aren't meant to be. But the lj feed is, of course, a different matter.

Xander_cane posts "Brng back teh jokeS! These comix sux!" Furrymouse says that the "l337" sucks, to which Xander replies that he's Randy, the artist's, friend. Obviously. So it was also obviously a joke. Furrymouse continues to be offended, and claims that "The psychic powers every LJer is assumed to have must have been on the blink" and begs for forgiveness. Sarcasticly. A couple more people weigh in, and then the thread dies among a flurry of sarcastic jokes about Choo-choo Bear and furries.

But then, holy crap, the real wank starts! Seanporter posts a very long, very involved comment blasting the jokers. Clearly these idiot posters have never been through trials like this! Please, everyone, listen to my story about my close friend who killed himself, and stop the joking! I mean, it's not like it's a comic strip or anything, gawd! Druhol shoots back with "Did you lose your ability to detect internet sarcasm in an auto accident?" something Seanporter thinks is Not Funny. He blows up, calling Druhol a "20-year-old shit" and lamenting all that is wrong with his "your generation and the world today." The rest of the comment speaks for itself without any snarky comment:

If it wasn't for the fact I moved out of Santa Cruz, I would drive the 75 miles to San Francisco and show you what a true sarcastic shit can do when he's kicking your ass up and down fucking Market St. So do the world a favor and pull the head of yours out of your ass and either join the Army or go back to school and get a real education. If your going to stick up for other peoples bullshit, or sarcasm as you put it, then expect to pay for your insensitivity.

I can't make this shit up.

Anonymammal (was anonymouse taken?) sums up the feelings of the sane people in the thread thusly: "Because making a flippant comment on an LJ feed to what is considered one of the most darkly humorous, sarcastic web comics available is so much worse than threatening physical violence because someone says something you don't like. You're a 'special' kinda person, aren't you?" Amen, sister.

Then Xander_cane speaks back up, touting again his friendship with Randy again, as if that makes Everything All Right. He also pulls out the sympathy card, claiming seven family members have died of cancer, and that he is "infatuated with a boy who doesn't have much of arms or legs to speak of."

Seanporter again makes this report easy by not needing any commentary to get the WTF-ness: ( Cut for length, yo )

Tkitch tries to make everything okay, diplomatically telling Seanporter to stop being an asshat (or as diplomatically as one can). The rest of the comments in the thread devolve into more jokes and sarcasm, as anything related to SP should in the end.

It's only a little wank, but it's really a little fandom. I've got $10 that says Randy shows up bitching about how much he hates LJ before I get off work.

12:38pm: obviously Singer hasn't seen Smallville
I had to post about this, because it just cracks me up every time I read it:

From Australia's the Age.

After weeks of internet buzz that the new Superman movie portrays the Man of Steel as gay, the director of the film has issued a strong denial, saying it was the most heterosexual character he has filmed.

Superman "is probably the most heterosexual character in any movie I've ever made," said Bryan Singer, director of Superman Returns a new movie about the crime-fighting superhero that opens June 28. "I don't think he's ever been gay."

In recent months, the movie's ability to lure its target audience has been questioned by internet buzz probing the superhero's sexuality.

Young men are the movie's target audience and the film needs to attract millions of them to earn a profit and relaunch the Superman film franchise.

A major gay magazine, The Advocate, ran a cover story with the headline: "How Gay is Superman," and the Los Angeles Times weighed in with its own story on whether being gay might hinder or help the movie's box office receipts.

After all, gay romance Brokeback Mountain won awards and raked in $178 million worldwide.

So he wears a leotard and flies around in a red cape. Big deal, Singer said, noting Spider-Man wears tights. The X-Men do too, and they aren't gay. Singer ought to know, he directed 2000's X-Men movie and 2003's X2: X-Men United.

Singer said his version of the Man of Steel, who is played by Brandon Routh, is a "very romantic icon" - handsome, virtuous and vulnerable.

( vague plot spoilers... )

But will anyone think of the bisexuals?

4:45pm: Because someone had to do it...
Imagine if one of the biggest BNFs in one of the biggest and wankiest fandoms was found out to have systematically trolled, wanked and manipulated her friends - using a series of high profile sockpuppets - over a period of several years in order to gain fannish status.

Imagine if someone wrote up a comprehensive set of reports (comprising around 90,000 words) detailing and explaining every aspect of this behaviour and exposing it to general fandom for the first time.

Then imagine if it was corroborated by various well-known fandomers.

This is the (alleged) Msscribe story. Also showing at a bad_penny near you.

key words: Harry Potter, Gryffindor Tower, heidi8, cassieclaire, msscribe, pottersginny, fermatojam, sockpuppets, fandom uproar, witchhunt.