Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

5:24pm: The Aryan Dollhood
On AG playthings--yes, there's TWO BOARDS about American Girl Dolls,-- only1genevieve posts how she hopes the newest rumored Historical doll isn't a blond. Other people chime in to say the same thing and talk about Jewish dolls and heritage.

Then CoG (which stands for Child of God) speaks up to say "Why does everyone complain about blondes?" Now, this wouldn't be a big deal, but when others disagree she goes on about how it's unfair that people make her feel bad for being white and having no heritage. missnellieomalley steps in: "Lets all just come to a compromise and go with the natural blond doll with a mohawk and dyed green tips... Then you get your precious blond doll and we get diversity. Everybody wins. So Merry Christmas." Later, she replies with "Aryan doll" and CoG says the line of the week:

"I did not say I wanted another aryan doll, either. Just that they are unappreciated. And that some people don't get that there's nothing wrong with Aryan dolls."

And it goes on for a bit before the discussion turns to Scandinavia.

Small wank is still wank.

10:05pm: A Nice Light Who Wank
So, who needs a palate-cleanser after all the HP and b_p things of this last week? I know I do, and this one comes with french fries.

time_and_chips is known to many wankers and many Who fans as the home of the crazy Doctor/Rose fans, who have even acquired their own name: the batchippers. But reassuringly, it also seems to be the home of the sane shippers as well, or at least the "not that crazy" shippers.

When it comes to the first kind, though, range_heidi knows her audience, or at least thinks she does. She posts an internet petition to the community including only two lines of explanation, one being, "If you still need convincing, read my statement and I'm sure you'll be convinced."

What is this incredibly eloquent argument she's sure will win anyone over, and what the petition is about? ( If you're one of the five Americans who has avoided a certain end-season character development and wants to remain unspoiled, this cut is for YOU. )

Startlingly, the community is largely unmoved by this impassioned and exceedingly well-reasoned plea, as several members instantly post comments expressing their devout hope that the range_heidi is joking.

range_heidi wants to know why they would think that.

And it all goes downhill from there.

We get:
- Accusations that people are being insulting.
- Suggestions that K9 the robot dog was better for the Doctor than Rose. (There goes several people's childhoods.)
- Speculation about range_heidi being a troll or sockpuppet. (She is the latter, but like they always do, she claims to have a good reason.)
- Indignant demands to know why someone who dislikes a character in a pairing is in its shipping comm. (With an answer everyone around here can respect.)
- Complaints about how spinoffs are all 'ridiculous'.
- Discussions of how stupid it is to already like Martha when she's never been on-screen.
- The interesting fact that she spammed other communities with this (Here at the least; I cannot explain why she chose to ignore rose_lives, which you'd think would be the obvious choice.)
- Apologies for how omgmean everyone was to the OP.
- A simultaneous case of both whining and attempting to appear superior.
- And, of course, pedantry.

Bonus: that's just the first ten threads! All this, plus an inevitable Fandom Wank name-check. Come on in, folks; it's a Doctor Who wank that isn't largely incomprehensible to outsiders, yet has touches of damn near half the wanks the fandom has had all year, and it's as close to friendly as Who wank gets. All tied up in a shiny bow, just for us. (As seen on clairvoyant wank.)