Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

11:23am: Don't you dare call me a lesbian! Or claim that you didn't! Or prove it!
Much thanks to the mousie in wank_report who unearthed this.

Over at the Fish-In-Barrel shoot known as GameFAQs, there's a thread regarding the yet-to-be released in America horror/survial game "Rule of Rose" (Which I only know from the promos shown on Cinematech: Nocturnal Emissions, but from that and what I've read, it sounds like cross between Haunting Ground and Bully, with creeeeepy little girls as the antagonists).

The topic starts out discussing the games level of bloodiness and main character Jennifer's status among the most helpless Survivor/Horror heroines.

Then out pops user gloomysunday with this nugget o' wisdom: ...Jennifer is not just weak, she is quite stupid too. (Quote is in the middle of the page)

PokerNemesis replies (most would say tongue-in-cheek): You just say that because you are in love with Amanda. (Apparently, gloomysunday has stated that she liked Amanda

Now, you might think this is going to turn into some sort of character bashing session.

( But you'd be oh so wankliciously wrong! )

Just remember, it's always a good idea to insult someone as a "nerd"* because they are in an university anime club on a video games board.
__
* Exact quote: "gloomysunday:Anime fan club at a university? Wow, you are a nerd(no compliment intended)"

2:11pm: insert ironic icon here
Remember that Harlan Ellison wank? Of course you do. The whole thing is still going on, having spawned lots of discussion, wanky and otherwise, half-assed apologies and their retractions, as well as a livejournal community. (Which, as we all know, is the absolute height of seriousness. /mild sarcasm)

However, that's not the wank this time.

This post starts out like a well-researched, well, wank report, with quotes and links and a bit of commentary. The first thing you notice (besides a somewhat confusing reference to a certain Mr. Goldberg, which I would appreciate someone clearing up, if they can figure it out * ), however, is a lot of edits--some very famous names who have asked for their links/quotes to be removed. Fine, whatever, I think. Famous names don't want their material on someone else's blog.

Then I got to the comments.

Wow.

Accusations of misquoting, copyright violations, plaigirism, and threats to be banned from the SFWA for the author (David Moles). Epecially amusing in the light of reviewing Crystalwank and the initial brouhaha over JF's TOS.

( Should I be scared to quote highlights here? )

There's more, but my eyes are crossing and I really don't want to break my keyboard by repeated headdesking. If I get blackballed by the big names of the SFWA, will you all still buy any self-published books I may have yet to write?

Thanks to the mouse for the tip off. EDIT: frequentmouse caught it first. Mea maxima culpa.</a>

* The reference is to a Mark Goldberg on the HE board: thanks to stasha for figuring it out. In my defense, I had been reading Lee's reaction post before getting the notification about this wank.

Obligatory full disclaimer here: I'm of the opinion that this type of incident is symptomatic of a broader and more vicious sexism, and I am, frankly, glad to see it getting aired in at least a semi-public arena.

7:25pm: I KNOW IT'S IMDB WANK BUT I DON'T CARE.
I am so thankful to have found wank surrounding my second favourite topic ever: dinosaurs.

So, like, they're making Jurassic Park IV: The Extinction. While you consider for a moment that this is the best film title since "Boa Versus Python", ask yourself: how much wank could a long-dead (if ever) fandom have?

The answer is plenty.

Venom2000 wants to know what the main dinosaur in JP4 will be. Others speculate, based on dinosaurs from prior movies, when jutuers points out that the T-Rex was undoubtedly the scariest dinosaur of them all.

This greatly upsets scoobysaurus, who posts a long-winded shipping essay post about how much spinosaurus is TEH ROXXOR in comparison to T-Rex, which is actually teh shittz0r.

There's argument about sources, calling people "fags", whether Fox is a "real" news site and Jack Horner's dinosaur theories.

A flame-war about which dinosaur was more kickass? Could there be a more perfect wank?

eta: thanks to Cleo, the most rambling, aggressive-aggressive and cracktacular Ain't It Cool script report on the face of the planet. Even if you don't like the damn movies read it for a laugh.