Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

5:30pm: Attend the Tale of Sweeney Wank!
For the most part, the Sweeney Todd fandom has been very quiet. That was until Johnny Depp was picked to the play the title role in the movie. This brought vomit inducing debates on whether or not Depp can sing the part. The best part is that people have been unable to get their respective underwear out of a twist despite that it’s been months since the announcement.

So over on the one and only IMDB, SummerD links a youtube clip of Johnny Depp supposedly singing in the moive Cry Baby to prove that Depp can sing. Khanum_of_Persia chimes in stating that John Waters has already cleared up that Depp didn’t sing in Cry Baby. Little_Sketchy then writes up a tl;dr report on why she thinks that in the link it is Depp. Khanum_of_Persia is not amused, and then goes on to flap about how Depp fans think they know more than John Waters.

Queue in wankplosion with a side order of meat pies! Oh no, apparently OperaGhost88, pelicans_and_such, and grizabellalover_92 have lost all respect for Khanum_of_Persia.

Meanwhile InuKage-91 takes a condescending tone with Khanum_of_Persia. “ok, you know what? A lot of people who CAN sing dont realize it. A lot of people who are amazing at singing say that they suck and they truly believe it”

All the while PhantomPhan222 and BroadwayBookworm have a small kerfluffle on the side about complaining, hypocrisy, and other such matters. The argument ends with PhantomPhan222 admitting to being a hypocrite, and she’s proud of it!

I just can’t wait for the movie to come out, seeing that these people are already setting themselves up for disappointment. There will be enough wank to last a lifetime.

7:31pm: SG Fanfic: It's about Social Justice.
David Hewlett, who plays Rodney on Stargate: Atlantis, is one of the nicer sorts of fannish celebs: approachable, inclined to provide a place for his fans to hang out around him, pleasantly geeky, and reasonably unflappable. You know what this means, of course: wank. Having previously weathered the storm of his own nudity being displayed to him (yes, it seems he is aware he has a penis), it seems the fans are determined to move on to challenging his zen with that old fannish standby: fanfic.

However, this is not his story.

It is the story of a fanfic awards site, a woman determined to talk about it, and some of the consequences.

It all begins on David Hewlett's aforementioned forums, with Icarus. Icarus starts a thread titled 'Fandom Security' which initially seems to be a discussion of steps to take to keep your real life and your fannish life from colliding, but doesn't stay to that topic for long. Amusingly, a major immediate tangent is how crazy vast parts of fandom are, and how important it is to take steps to protect yourself from people who don't understand how to be polite and sensible members of fannish society--and how to interact politely and sensibly with actors and other TPTBs. Other discussions this thread naturally launches into are such obvious topics as the OOC-ness of slash and the reasons to read and enjoy fic at all. Naturally, it starts to go wanky as early as page three, when an un-named Visitor shows up to question the wisdom of having this discussion on this forum at all:

"I maintain that certain aspects of fandom should be kept within fandom circles, fanfiction -- especially any type of het/slash fiction -- being one of them. Not strictly for legal reason, though those are still possibly a concern.

It also seems that people are still confusing this site with other fandom forums. This is not an extension of fandom in the form of an official site. It is an official site venturing into fandom space."

Pages and pages of argument ensue. I can't even begin to recap them, and really, why would anyone want me to? It's nothing particularly new. No, the different kicks in when Icarus, who is obviously a special child, decides that in the middle of this argument is a perfect time to start a new thread--this one pimping the Stargate Fan Awards, which will be announcing their winners soon. Her reasons for posting are fairly obvious--she mentions right on page one of her earlier thread that she's been nominated--and course the reaction is fairly obvious too, especially since she forgot to log in when starting the thread....

crownglass39: "Is it wise to be posting a link to such a large fanfic forum here?
I've heard authors request that people not link to their fic at the dgeek site, and this is a rather large repository for said fic. "
Vistor: "Thank you, I was just about to make the same request. This is exactly the sort of thing that a large number of us do not want posted to this site. Several authors friends are concerned about this link being here and ask that you take it down."
Hanes: "No one can edit a post created as a Visitor."
Visitor: "Ah. Right. Well played."

Icarus's reaction to all of this?

"It should be fine. It's not a direct link to any specific fic.

Many authors I know are just fine with their stories here. There's a whole fanfiction archive on Gateworld.

If anyone wants the thread edited, Hanes has a point. I was logged out mid-post and can't edit it. They can petition David. He's the only one who can remove it."

There's only one thing left to do now--it's time for it to go to LJ! lamardeuse has a poll in which the commenters feel strongly about this--very strongly, in some cases. And amireal hates it and just wants it all to go away, but with someone like this involved, I believe she may be overly optimistic:

[in response to a suggestion they just shouldn't discuss fanfic on this forum]
"It's a terrible idea. This is why we don't have gay marriage in the U.S. and two friends of mine stand to lose their kid if one of them dies, no matter who actually raised him -- because a few people are offended at the idea of two men (or two women) married to each other."

Made with the assistance of the mice of lol_meme and wank_report. They will find links for cheese. Or even just to alleviate the boredom.

11:19pm: Forget Angela, Jeffery vs Laura
Project Runway wank? Of course! The first part of the season finale aired tonight and the wank is going down at projectrunway.

Note: Some links may contain spoilers later on if members continue to go back and forth for a while and bring up issues shown in the episode. So if you don't want to be potentially spoiled, you may want to come back later.

prevailing wishes to know why everyone fawns over Jeffery so much. Not wanky.

However, when it's paired with prevailing declaring framedinblood is biased for stating that, "Laura is just jealous that Jeffery's collection is a million times better than her own," the wank is on.

After people point that prevailing is being hypocritical, prevailing brings out the, "I'm just joking!" card.

prevailing continues to wank about Jeffery here some more.

Actually, if you just read through the first two or three pages of comments, you can see prevailing either defending the awesomeness that is Laura, or snubbing Jeffery.

All links after this point contain spoilers.

The sentiments of Laura being a bitch (in varying degrees of wanky) are echoed in every other comment from page three and on.

tigerkat believes no one had the right to touch Jeffery's clothes.

A thread on why people are pissed at Laura. Another less wanky thread on the same matter. And another thread calling out Michael for his position in the situation.

cheerio_yoten is basing their belief of Jeffery's honesty according to science.

More to come? Probably. The episode just aired hours ago.

ETA: Bonus wank from Keith Michael, thanks to tez for mentioning it. See Keith use the CAPS LOCK OF RAAAGE.