Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

1:09am: bad_rpers_suck is at it again!

The post itself is angry as hell, and not gonna take it anymore!

Two comments get in before the wank starts to fly, starting with a little bit of UST tension between dispassion and yakkityyakk here, which devolves into a dogpile here.

There's namecalling, REALLY BIG TEXT (whoa!), everyone's being two-faced about being two-faced, and BY GOD there are no girls on the internet, lol.

No one's really sure what's going on, but the popcorn is out.

Thankfully, Captain Picard makes an appearance.

Tea, anyone?

2:09pm: HP-Wank that's not about Snape
Over at the Leaky Cauldron, they post to a news article with the Order of the Phoenix's director David Yates stating:

"The book's huge, but it actually distills quite easily... That said, I've shot a movie that's probably over three hours, so I'll have to lose 45 minutes in the edit."

Will the fans take this news lying down? ( Of course not, it's HP fandom. )

9:35pm: Here a douche, there a douche...
Everywhere a douche douche!

A few night ago, Jared Leto choked Elijah Wood for insulting his band and his brother. (And no one recorded it? Come on, who else would love to watch that girlfight?) There are small bursts of wank in the comments there (a little popup box,) but plenty more to come on other sites, trust me on this. A little bit of "Jared rules" "No Elija Rules!" over at bestweekever., and the implication by someone named "Stephen" that this has maybe more to do with Jared's brother than the actual band. ("I stood about three feet from Elijah Wood’s table all night and saw this tense exchange. The only words I could make out over the music were Jared Leto’s “That’s my f’ing brother, man!” It was intense, and absolutely awesome.") I like a few of those comments. ( Here are some of my favorites. )

Elijah's fans don't have too much to say at his forum aside from that they were worried he might have gotten hurt.

Not so at the 30 Seconds to Mars forum, where everyone's got their willy out 24/7 ready to start wanking. ( Starting on page two of the gossip thread...... )

( But when it really gets going is when someone calling themselves jaredsdouche starts a thread. )

The wank is almost as much fun as trying to picture Jared Leto and Elijah Wood trying to beat each other's scrawny ass and probably end up crying in each other's arms.

THERE'S MORE! Some "Echelon" is upset that Fandom Wank talked smack about Jared hitting women! I don't know where that comment came from (am I gonna have to lose my impartiality and start to actively hate Leto?) but you have angered TEH EHECLONZ!@@@!! (Except that most of them are telling himherit to shut the fuck up already.)

And I fixed the italics. Go me.

11:23pm: James Urbaniak vs. teh crazy
This starts in June 2006 and is ongoing.

Actor James Urbaniak has a livejournal. I know him only as Dr. Venture from the Venture Brothers, but he's done a bunch of other stuff.

His resume has caught the attention of one karen_strang. In her inaugural LJ post, she compiles a list of "the most egregious woman-haters of America's culture". This list includes urbaniak. In her "review" of American Splendor, she writes:
I also did a little research on an actor named James Urbaniak, who plays the appropriately named "Crumb." He has one of the most appalling filmographies I've ever seen, an endless list of creeps, psychos, perverts and killers. Urbaniak must be rated as one of the most misogynist performers on the planet.
( Read more... )

After June, they go to their respective corners. karen_strang starts talking about comics, and urbaniak continues talking about Venture Brothers, Kidnapped, his twins, etc. She sort of drops out of the LJ scene in mid-July, posting infrequently.

Until recently.

karen_strang is writing a book called The Urbaniak Effect. ( No, really. )

Then the whole thing kind of just tapers off. Maybe they'll continue picking at each other. Maybe it'll turn out that karen_strang is a sockpuppet of urbaniak's. Who knows?