Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

4:00pm: Bleach fandom, why do you hurt me so?
Since the last Bleach pairing wank was focused on Ichigo/Orihime, it was only a matter of time before the more er... intense(?)... Ichigo/Rukia fans would start up again.

Over at rukia_fans, new member ichirukicanon (you can already tell what this wank is about huh?), makes an intro post...

Subject: ichiruki is all that matters
hi, I'm new here :)

Rukia is my favourite character, I love her!! I just wanted to say hi, and YAY FOR ICHIRUKI!! ^__^

ICHIRUKI IS CANON!! orihime can either die or have ishida, renji can die!!

RUKIA BELONGS TO ICHIGO!!! :)

And it just spirals from there.

5:09pm: But I Am Le Tired...
Something Positive, everyone's favourite webcomic featuring boneless, extra-huggable kitties, looks to be shaping up for a nasty surprise. The main character, Davan, is heading home, and his roommate PeeJee expresses a niggling sense of impending doom. The title of today's (well...as close to today as the author can get) comic is entitled "PeeJee as Cassandra", adding another level of uh-oh to the proceedings.

You'd think the members of the LJ feed would be able to keep wank to the plot, no?

...Well...

The very first comment, as well as including a lovely "first" line, asks simply, "Who's Cassandra?" Other comm members feel the need to deliver some thwappage. OP snarks "Well, what do you know, I happen to have fifteen [Greek mythology books] right behind me. I understand the concept of Cassandra the frustrated oracle, lets please keep in mind that Cassandra is a more contemporary name than Agamemmnon, and is not simply assumed to be a reference to the fall of Troy.

If that's all right with you."

Commenters call asshole. OP is quiet yet, but I don't doubt zhe'll be unable to handle such stinging insults in quiet...

6:00pm: So, I Can Take That as a "Yes," Mr. Pratchett?
So, Terry Pratchett was (rather unflatteringly) interviewed in the Times. [ETA April 20, 2007: The previous link is now dead. For all those interested in your wank history, here's a working one, supplied here by a helpful anonymouse: Sod the Booker, this is popular: Giles Hattersley meets Terry Pratchett.]

Here is a loose and free paraphrase of a portion of the interview:

Interviewer: "So, when did J. K. Rowling stop beating your wife start ripping off your work?"

Terry Pratchett: "You're crazy if you think I'm actually going to answer that."

Interviewer: "I'll take that as a yes." (<--Actual real quote)

Potter fans: "OMG Pratchett dissed JKR! He's so jealous!"

Me: *Headdesk*

The Leaky Cauldron report on the article, with links to other Pratchett interviews/letters, is here. [ETA May 14, 2009: Although the original post remains, the old comments page, with all its glorious wank, appears to be gone. If anyone knows a workaround URL to get to old Leaky comments, let me know.]

Oh, yeah. The wank report from the last time this happened is here.

( ETA: A response from Pratchett about the interview )

ETA2: Because it's impossible to discuss Pratchett without someone wanting to try his books, we now have a thread of Pratchett recs. In fact, have two.