Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

12:49pm: Is there wank on Mars?
Yep there is. As usual. Thirty Seconds To Mars official board.

Slight wank - Shadow wants the band to play more songs from their first album, at first people agree, then what follows is a war between old schoolers and new fans. On page three sadness begins because Jared (as in Leto, as in lead singer, as in Jordan Catalano, as in Fight CLub and Alexander) said they won't play old songs because people don't understand them anymore. Inflammatory words for a group of old fans who already hate the NEW fans!

( Highlights include... )

JulesKD (some of you know her, she has been on here before) brings the wank with an entire thread that asks people the question of, does the band sell sex? She posts a link to a video of Jared Leto rubbing his dick on stage and asks if people think he's using sex to sell his band. Because that's not obvious. Some people think yes, he is drawing in screaming 14 year old fangirls and the band has left their true original fanbase behind. (I agree. I'm oldschool what can I say. I don't like this band as much as I used to but this isn't about me..... I just lurk.) Some people say that it's not so, that rock and sex go hand in hand. Others argue that the band didn't used to be like this so that can't really be true. It gets into, "when Jared jumps into the crowd, should people grab his crotch or not?" Everyone says they shouldn't, but some people figure that he knows he's going to get groped and he does it anyway, so he can handle it. ( Highlights include... ) Weirdly enough the thread ends on how pretty Jonathan Rhys Meyers was in Velvet Goldmine.

Also from this board I bring you feminism wank of gold. You want circular arguments and dictionary definitions? This thread delivers. It all starts innocently enough with a post about some girls who made a video using a cardboard cutout of Jared Leto, and let the witchhunt of fangirls begin. There's a lot of ewwing and oh gross-ing and "they should be killed" comments. A little bit of "calm the fuck down they're just kids." The real fun comes about halfway down page seven when Dr. Frostbite comes out with
This shit is perfect example of how fucking stupid a lot of you women are. You talk about her being a stupid fangirl? Come on, this girl just got fucking death threats over something this fucking small. Do you women inhale the fucking ink in the cd pamphlets until your brain fucking collapses on itself and the only retaining thought in your head happens to be 'The Kill'? ...
You women bullshit about "fangirls", yet it's perfectly acceptable to go out of your way to find the pierrot masks and get to the front of the line, wear that shit, and throw several 30stm-related tattoos on your body? GTFO. Holy shit, he said "women." WHo takes the bait? Hi again JulesKD. Yup, she might not have been to Iraq or seen a mass grave, but she is a feminist and don't anyone forget that. (And I'm not saying feminist like it's a bad thing, but she just won't quit.)

( Highlights include... ) The funny thing is that later in the thread, Dr. Frostbite and JulesKD end up bonding over martial arts while she and AxeGoddess (see the wank above,) are still going at it.

From there we turn to the less wanky but still fun Witch-hunt thread. A list of pathetic fangirls! Call them out! They get into MySpace, fat-wank, and the evils of RPS. This one is small and not as wanky as the feminism one, but it's still cute. In response to that, Who here isn't a fangirl/boy? List them too! Nothing wanky on that one so far, but resident troll Jer suggests that popular poster HipMomster might be a fangirl because she posted a picture of Jared Leto, so this thread does have some promise.

Thanks for rubbing your dick on stage, Jared Leto! Yes, there is wank on Mars!

3:10pm: Son (or Daughter) of the American Girl Wank
Remember the recent American Girl wank? The one where mods of one board banned members of another because they didn't like them? Well, it marches on, my friends! The mods, who have been conspicuously silent since the news broke out in the AG fandom have finally spoken to Nethilia (kittikattie), a mod at ag_over_18, and they employ the kind of doublespeak that would make a politician caught with his pants down proud.

( The mods, they have spoken! )

Of course, Neth isn't going to take this lying down:

( Here she is, calling crap for what it is! )

Most of the angry responses can be found on ag_over_18's version of this post, but it's currently locked. I'm just linking to Neth's entry with her permission. And this isn't even counting the mods reappearing on the AG Playthings message board (again, locked to members) just to...pointedly ignore everyone's demands for answers.

American Girl Dolls = still serious business.