Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

1:24pm: Bestiality, necrophilia and castration. Comics bring the best wank.
You may remember teh_no from at least one other comics wank. He's a well-known wanker in the relatively small comics fandom on LJ. And he's at it again.

A while back, he made a very NSFW post on scans_daily, the LJ hub of comics wank. The heroine castrates a rapist, has sex with her cat, and rapes a corpse. She is, says teh_no, everything Girl-Wonder.org, a movement to improve the portrayal of women in comics, is looking for in a female hero.

This has a mixed reaction, as the comments show. Supporters of G-W.org don't appreciate the "joke", and say so. Notice the comment from monkeycrackmary. That name will become important in a moment.

Cut to a more recent post. He is still bitter about being called puerile. He calls G-W.org out on it, and says they shouldn't be offended by his "joke" because they are "ALREADY associated with pedophilia. Mary Borsellino's name is all over the girl-wonder website. She's described as the founder on the media page and credited with the coding. And she writes wacky stories about grown men having sex with young boys:". He links to and quotes excerpts of her Batman/Robin fanfiction, and also mentions one of her other projects, violatedbydemontongue.com. Mary Borsellino is monkeycrackmary, and was the founder of G-W.org. She uses her own name rather than a pen name, so the connection is not a difficult one.

"Please do not pretend moral superiority," he says, "when I made a joke and your boss lady gets off on pedophilia and incest. Okey-dokey?"

Various supporters of monkeycrackmary chime in. She makes a short post on the whole thing.

But where, I hear no one at all cry, does teh_no's apparent hate for monkeycrackmary come from? Well, before any of this happened, this happened. She didn't comment on his fic, the whore!

Oh, comics. Why do I bother?


ETA: Why Yuletide is superior to JBBS, by teh_no. His conclusion? Yuletides gets him more comments. I'm sensing a pattern here.

3:19pm: Once upon a time...
Once upon a time, in a wonderful land full of profit, the good company Disney, not content with its other triumphs, decided to go out and establish itself on Broadway. And thus it was that Beauty and the Beast, Tarzan, Mary Poppins, The Lion King and Aida came to the fair city of New York and delighted the hearts of children and adults everywhere. But not all were pleased with the works of Disney, and seeing the happy faces of children spilling out of Disney musicals darkened the hearts of posters on Broadway internet boards. A great evil began to arise, and the dark-hearted ones attempted to bring doubt to those who loved the good Disney. "The Disneyfication of Broadway is bad!" they cried. "Where are the days of original musicals? Why must Disney take so many theaters?" But Disney carried on with their work, undaunted.

And then it was that Disney decided to expand its happy empire with The Little Mermaid. Rumors began to swirl, encouraged by the dark hearts of the doubting internets posters: how will this be staged? Will there be water involved? Will it be as wretched as Tarzan? But their most insidious tool of evil was.... casting rumors. "Who will play the roles?" the innocently curious people asked, not knowing the danger. And then it was that someone claimed that Norm Lewis would play Triton, the father of Ariel the mermaid. And then it followed that wank exploded in the dark internet realm of Broadwayworld, for the rumored Ariel is white, and lo, Norm Lewis is African American.

A great battle was waged with terrible cost. FOAnatic lead the charge with an inability to imagine just how this will work out:
Please someone explain this to me.

Ariel is white.

I'm all for color-blind casting, but when it's believeable.

This, I don't get.

Sweeping generalizations were made by Fenchurch (who rather enthusiastically throws him/herself into such threads):
The debate itself is racist. Having a problem with a person in a role solely based on their skin color is racist.

Period. End of Story. There's no getting around it, no verisimilitude arguments, they don't hold water. If you can't see past the skin color of a person, you're a racist.

Plain and simple.

Fenchurch and FOAnatic continued to duel (My argument is right, his argument debases humanity), and others joined in. As time went on, some fell to fighting over the concept of color-blind casting, and others spoke of mermaid genetics and discussed the sad discrimination against giant lobsters and bird actors in the musical industry. Some tried to walk a middle-ground and come up with explanations as to why a merman could be black and his merdaughter be white. But the darkest hour came when Fenchurch implied that those in disagreement with him were members of the KKK:
If it's a problem for you, then you're more than welcome to put on a white sheet and protest in front of the theater, or in frony of Disney's offices.

Wildly exaggerated rhetoric flew. Those who could threw up the defenses of mockery and graphics, but still the uncomprehending raged on:
You obviously don't know me at all....Or anything about biracial families...which exist all over the country...there are families who have a black parent and a white parent and blonde-haired/blue eyed kids....look at the Singerl twins...perfect example...That's all I'm gonna say about this...I can't educate the totally STUPID!!!!!!!

Will there be a happy ending, or will chaos rule the land? Good Disney didn't write this one, but since it involves the evil internet, I doubt the perfect ending is in sight.

5:56pm: Now she ded from Trimspa?
Moved from clairvoyantwank.

Anna Nicole Smith is dead. So, of course, this is a prime opportunity to wank about her life and consprechy!11!!! theories about her death. There's a bitty wank on the Snopes.com boards here, but of course our friends at ONTD wank the hardest. ONTD was temporarily ded from server and may well vanish again, so I've reproduced some of the wank below.

( *insert boob joke* )

And on and on. jezepuff also directed me to TheSuperficial.com, where there's ONTD-esque wank in the comments, including this gem: are they sure they just didn't find a blow-up sex doll in there and got confused?? And thanks to hangingfire, commentary from The New York Times' The Lede blog. One example: I’m sorry to say but its not like she was a symbol of America. She was a sexual enthusiast and doesn’t deserve all this agony. She is dead but we are not. You can call me an ass but I’m not the one crying about a dead pornstar

— Posted by Joe

I doubt this is the end of it.