: Welcome to the Wank Parade, aka One Ring to Wank Them All
Planet of the Apes fanfic writer Neil Gaiman fanboy My Chemical Romance's frontman, Gerard Way, is known in the fandom for suffering from verbal diarrhoea yet being paradoxically reticent about his personal life. This doesn't stop the fangirls and boys from speculating about whom he's seeing. And although, if MCR fans are to be believed, the band saves more lives than Chuck Norris, lately all the fandom seems to be doing is killing kittens.*
The story begins in 2004, where a hairdresser by the name of Eliza Cuts (member of the World's Most Hated Crew and friend of Alicia Simmons, fiancee of MCR bassist and Gerard's brother Mikey Way) has several comments on her now-deleted MySpace from a certain "g".
( Come one, come all, to this tragic affair...and not only is it tragic, it's LONG, so I warn you now. )
By now fans have pretty much assumed Kat to be out of the picture, but no one is sure whether Gerard really is with Eliza. Her presence, however, is strong enough to be felt on![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif)
mcrsecrets, a Post Secret-type community about, who else, MCR.
( I gave you my bullets, you gave me your blog )
Yet another MCR secrets post features some Eliza secrets, this time more negative. A few say that this relationship is making them lose faith in the band. Someone raises the possibility that she is merely attention whoring. Most are just confused about whether they really are dating or not.
Then more Eliza hate abounds, as people share their experiences with her and once again quote from her blog.
( I never told you what I did for a living. )
Others are starting to think that Eliza might be delusional, and dropping hints to make it look like she's with Gerard.
Then Gerard finally decides to talk about his love life, and there is no mention of Eliza. Instead, he says that he's very much single.
( I don't love you like I did yesterday. )
Such definite statements, however, only seem to further anger the fans. There is also pointing, laughing, and outright hatred for Eliza. However, the wank and fury die down soon enough, and even Eliza decides to take herself out of the e-spotlight. It's not enough for some fans, though.
( If it looks like I'm laughing, I'm really just asking to leave. )
People wonder if there's a deeper reason behind Eliza suddenly going private, and an exchange between anonymice offers the following words of wisdom: "Gerard's record label is now on her ass" EXPLAIN
Well, when a man and a woman love each other very much, the man inserts his record label into his woman's ass.
Despite attempts at levity, the fandom won't be satisfied until they get the real deal between Eliza and Gerard. Somehow people think they can get the truth from Miss E akadevilmuse, another member of the WMHC. Unfortunately she doesn't answer with a simple yes or no, but with more tl;dr that boils down to "it's none of our business, I have no right to tell you." This really doesn't make anybody happy, and people continue to insist that Eliza is an attention whore/really dating Gerard/masterminding a plot to fuck with MCR fans. When anonymous #9724385 brings up the MySpaces (first mentioned in this post) devilmuse states that they are both fake. It doesn't matter, though, as people continue to argue about if she's really dating Gerard, is she really a bitch, are the myspaces fake, what is the true meaning of groupie. Some decide to take their eyeliner and go home.
Eventually the issue dies,anonquestions continue trash talking and searching for celebrity screen names, the fandom moves on to talk about which MCR member has the biggest penis and begging each other for concert tickets. Until The Black Parade tour officially kicks off, and we see (or don't see) ( my preciousssss... )
So, in summary:
- hairdresser drops hints that she may be dating a rock star, fans think she's attractive and cool
- hairdresser is perceived as using the internet as her gateway to fame, pisses off fans
-fans feel like they're being played, which pisses off fans
- rock star says he's single, pisses off fans
- hairdresser gets off the internet, pisses off fans
- rock star starts wearing a ring during shows, pisses off fans
-the pissed-off fans get tired of being so pissed off all the time, and start thinking hairdresser is attractive and cool once more
And every wank needs a macro.
*But no one saves more lives than Chuck Norris.
ETA: Apparently there's more "proof" that these people are, indeed, engaged. Discussion quickly devolves to an anonymice fight telling each other to LURK MOAR and that they are not creepy stalkers enough to be good fangirls.
The story begins in 2004, where a hairdresser by the name of Eliza Cuts (member of the World's Most Hated Crew and friend of Alicia Simmons, fiancee of MCR bassist and Gerard's brother Mikey Way) has several comments on her now-deleted MySpace from a certain "g".
( Come one, come all, to this tragic affair...and not only is it tragic, it's LONG, so I warn you now. )
By now fans have pretty much assumed Kat to be out of the picture, but no one is sure whether Gerard really is with Eliza. Her presence, however, is strong enough to be felt on
mcrsecrets, a Post Secret-type community about, who else, MCR.( I gave you my bullets, you gave me your blog )
Yet another MCR secrets post features some Eliza secrets, this time more negative. A few say that this relationship is making them lose faith in the band. Someone raises the possibility that she is merely attention whoring. Most are just confused about whether they really are dating or not.
Then more Eliza hate abounds, as people share their experiences with her and once again quote from her blog.
( I never told you what I did for a living. )
Others are starting to think that Eliza might be delusional, and dropping hints to make it look like she's with Gerard.
Then Gerard finally decides to talk about his love life, and there is no mention of Eliza. Instead, he says that he's very much single.
( I don't love you like I did yesterday. )
Such definite statements, however, only seem to further anger the fans. There is also pointing, laughing, and outright hatred for Eliza. However, the wank and fury die down soon enough, and even Eliza decides to take herself out of the e-spotlight. It's not enough for some fans, though.
( If it looks like I'm laughing, I'm really just asking to leave. )
People wonder if there's a deeper reason behind Eliza suddenly going private, and an exchange between anonymice offers the following words of wisdom: "Gerard's record label is now on her ass" EXPLAIN
Well, when a man and a woman love each other very much, the man inserts his record label into his woman's ass.
Despite attempts at levity, the fandom won't be satisfied until they get the real deal between Eliza and Gerard. Somehow people think they can get the truth from Miss E aka
devilmuse, another member of the WMHC. Unfortunately she doesn't answer with a simple yes or no, but with more tl;dr that boils down to "it's none of our business, I have no right to tell you." This really doesn't make anybody happy, and people continue to insist that Eliza is an attention whore/really dating Gerard/masterminding a plot to fuck with MCR fans. When anonymous #9724385 brings up the MySpaces (first mentioned in this post) devilmuse states that they are both fake. It doesn't matter, though, as people continue to argue about if she's really dating Gerard, is she really a bitch, are the myspaces fake, what is the true meaning of groupie. Some decide to take their eyeliner and go home.Eventually the issue dies,
anonquestions continue trash talking and searching for celebrity screen names, the fandom moves on to talk about which MCR member has the biggest penis and begging each other for concert tickets. Until The Black Parade tour officially kicks off, and we see (or don't see) ( my preciousssss... )So, in summary:
- hairdresser drops hints that she may be dating a rock star, fans think she's attractive and cool
- hairdresser is perceived as using the internet as her gateway to fame, pisses off fans
-fans feel like they're being played, which pisses off fans
- rock star says he's single, pisses off fans
- hairdresser gets off the internet, pisses off fans
- rock star starts wearing a ring during shows, pisses off fans
-the pissed-off fans get tired of being so pissed off all the time, and start thinking hairdresser is attractive and cool once more
And every wank needs a macro.
*But no one saves more lives than Chuck Norris.
ETA: Apparently there's more "proof" that these people are, indeed, engaged. Discussion quickly devolves to an anonymice fight telling each other to LURK MOAR and that they are not creepy stalkers enough to be good fangirls.
Current Mood: *thud*