: War Gaming: Can't We All Just Get Along?
You may notice my phrasing below touch on the vague side. This is because I'm not actually in this fandom; my guyfriend modeler directed me to it.
So, there's this subset of tabletop games called war games. It involves using little tin-sculpted figures to play out strategies and battles and objectives and the like. One of the systems for it is called War Machine, put out by Privateer Press. Geared to be a brutal, violent, and above all MACHO affair, every War Machine book has a page near the start which espouses its philosophy in one glorious page of over-the-top fappery. The content of this page (Page 5, specifically--yes, it's the same in every War Machine book ever) can be summed up in one phrase, also the motto of the scenario:
Play Like You've Got A Pair.
Now, a cousin-system for War Machine is called Hordes. One of the races in Hordes is called the Skorne. With a vaguely Asian armor design which appeals to many, the Skorne are savage nomads with an exceptionally harsh, militaristic way of life developed to match their harsh native environments. They also torture animals in order to get full use out of them. Giant elephant-like beasts called titans are kept in control with hooks and chains by a class called Paingivers; the Skorne are said to have raised the methods and results of torture to an art. It's one of the race's main themes, in fact. Now, it's no secret that War Machine and Hordes have a history of putting out very twisted fluff (extra material) for the races of the fantasy world in which the systems are set, the Iron Kingdoms. As sure as D&D Monster Manuals get more horrible with every new installment, there's a certain kind of war game that probably pays its developers more for every horrified shudder that they can evoke.
But now? Oh, now they've gone too far.
( No baby elephants were harmed in the posting of this wank. )
(First wank, hurt me gently, etc.)
You may notice my phrasing below touch on the vague side. This is because I'm not actually in this fandom; my guyfriend modeler directed me to it.
So, there's this subset of tabletop games called war games. It involves using little tin-sculpted figures to play out strategies and battles and objectives and the like. One of the systems for it is called War Machine, put out by Privateer Press. Geared to be a brutal, violent, and above all MACHO affair, every War Machine book has a page near the start which espouses its philosophy in one glorious page of over-the-top fappery. The content of this page (Page 5, specifically--yes, it's the same in every War Machine book ever) can be summed up in one phrase, also the motto of the scenario:
Play Like You've Got A Pair.
Now, a cousin-system for War Machine is called Hordes. One of the races in Hordes is called the Skorne. With a vaguely Asian armor design which appeals to many, the Skorne are savage nomads with an exceptionally harsh, militaristic way of life developed to match their harsh native environments. They also torture animals in order to get full use out of them. Giant elephant-like beasts called titans are kept in control with hooks and chains by a class called Paingivers; the Skorne are said to have raised the methods and results of torture to an art. It's one of the race's main themes, in fact. Now, it's no secret that War Machine and Hordes have a history of putting out very twisted fluff (extra material) for the races of the fantasy world in which the systems are set, the Iron Kingdoms. As sure as D&D Monster Manuals get more horrible with every new installment, there's a certain kind of war game that probably pays its developers more for every horrified shudder that they can evoke.
But now? Oh, now they've gone too far.
( No baby elephants were harmed in the posting of this wank. )
(First wank, hurt me gently, etc.)