Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

1:27am: High School Musical wank
Over on LJ's idontdance community, devoted to (apparently) a High School Musical slash couple, the mods post to ask people to please avoid making potentially racist remarks regarding the hair of one of the two characters involved.

Predictably, the wank is started in the first comment by killerspork33, who takes every possible opportunity to point out that s/h/it knows a white person with hair like that!, and goes on to contribute half the comments and 80% of the point-missing and general wankery to the post as a whole.

Fortunately for the lulz-to-serious ratio of the wank, it's not all standard racism wank -- we have alethalia wanking about how edgy and un-PC s/h/it is and how the mods are being oppressive and are suppressing s/h/it's speech.

headachehead wanks over use of the word "retarded" as a generalized insult, is offended at being called immature, and complains about being disrespected for "having a sense of humor."

Small in terms of comment-count, but efficiently packaged. Now that it's hit metafandom in a comment, it might even expand.

1:34pm: Fandom Secrets wank!
Note: In the interests of full disclosure and neutrality, much of this report is directly taken from volitioned's wank report here as far as links and such with my thanks and apologies because she did a huge amount of the footwork. I have only edited it for impartiality and added some background of my own.

Let's get started.

For anyone who has not heard of fandomsecrets, people anonymously submit images with secrets related to fandom on them (e.g., I think this pairing sucks, I can't stand this series but everyone thinks I love it, etc.). Since roleplaying is included under fandom, there's a fairly steady influx of roleplaying secrets: people falling in love with their RP partner, thinking someone in an RP sucks, or just RP wank in general. It makes for some lulz in the opinions of many and creates a fair amount of wank (for even more lulz) from people who think RP secrets belong in a different comm, but in the end most people get over it.

Secret posting seems to tend toward cycles, and lately, the majority of RP secrets seemed to be about a fanon-adored pairing from the series Death Note; people saying how much they loved the pairing, even more RP secrets about people playing as them, shitty fic authors for the pairing. You name it, someone wrote about it.

In the latest secret post, another secret about this pairing was made with an RPer wanting to be the Matt to someone's Mello ("I want to be the _____ to your ______" is a phrase commonly seen in the comm.) After only a few hours of the secret post being up, various threads were made (more, more, more, more, more, and one more) in complaint to there being too many pairing secrets for these two characters.

( ZOMG STFU )

( The anonymice battle the mods! )

( BUT THAT'S NOT ALL, FOLKS! )

SO, TO SUM UP:
Anonymous secret with extremely common sentiment is posted at fandomsecrets.
Several commenters object to the secret as overdone and the pairing as unrealistic.
Secret poster responds to comments, telling them to shut up and sit down. Mostly they ignore her.
When one thread gets super wanky, one of the mods deletes it and the secret at the request of the OP.
Mods laugh at wank.
Anonymous commenters object to deletion, wank, and laughing.
Anonymous calls for removal of technophile as mod for being immature.
volitioned posts a wank report in her LJ with a focus on technophile's involvement in the wank.
serenesanity shows up and takes a personal objection to the links that may or may not link to her comments. I'm not quite sure.
Arguments ensue. Volitioned says it's not about Serenesanity. Technophile continues to laugh.

And the wankas win!

EDIT FOR GREAT JUSTICE: volitioned has deleted her journal! Color me shocked!

EDIT FOR SLIGHTLY LESSER JUSTICE: Undeleted!e