Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

9:23am: This wank based on true events. [now with baleetion]

I read the strangest rant today. How strange you say? So strange no one can agree just whether it's even a rant at all!

OP replies to requests to clarify, a few times, while a brave idealist attempts first contact, before realizing only a sucker would try to breach such impenetrable walls of WTF.

A random potshot at someone's fic-writing skills prompts the best simile ever.

The more persistent commenters dig through the layers of Bizarro-talk until they uncover the truth: OP is... 'anti-criticism'?

PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE SMILEYS.

And shattered idealism is shattered.

ETA: aslongasitlasts has studied the people of FFR. He's like a magic 8-ball, in a way.

And wank_report has some too.

ETA2: Modly intervention. But he wants to be banned. No, really.

ETA s'more: Post got blanked and F-locked. Comm membership is open, though.

The ETA Apocalypse Now: Comments are being baleeted at random, and the original post is replaced by the preface to The Picture of Dorian Gray. It's the final troll blowout, people.

ETA Captain Obvious:: Oh, so that's what started it. Taunting the mod, and then deleting comments (A no-no in ffr^2). He's banned now, but you wouldn't know because the mod comment that said that is... deleted!

ETA Cry For Justice: There are 409 Google caches of the wank still with pre-baleetion comments. Saving the ones I can before they update.

8:43pm: I refuse to return your stolen tablet until you buy me a better one
Over on FurAffinity Kitara makes a journal about the theft of her tablet (the original journal is on the bottom half and the update is on the top half). She says she lent it to Recca_se_li and it was then either stolen by Razr or Recca lent it to Razr. Either way Razr refuses to answer any of Kitara's emails or text messages on the subject. Kitara then updates same journal (top half) when she manages to contact Razrs roomate/master/girlfriend/sockpuppet knowstobite. Knowstobite insists that the tablet was given to Razrs by Recca as a parting gift and that he will only return it once Kitara gives him another tablet of same or better quality.

Recca says Razrs has also stolen from him and owes him money

ICEman goes on Heidi patrol and internet lawyers

Kitara posts another journal where she shares a conversation she had with Knowstobite The conversation is tl;dr but the gist of it is Knowstobite thinks Razr has done nothing wrong by willfully accepting and keeping property he knows is stolen and again insists Kitara sends a new tablet to Razrs before she receives the original back.

Knowstobite shows up to share her two cents

Knowstobite also posted a journal on the subject of the tablet
The edited version
Screen caps thanks to Nightfurson of the original version in which knowstobite tries to raise money to buy Razr a new tablet.

Screen capt comments from Knowstobite's first journal where we find out Razr just made over $200 dollars on a commission and can easily buy himself a new tablet with that money.
the furbuy auction (half a NSFW picture)

At some point Recca also started taking donation money to buy Kitara a new tablet even though Kitara explicitly said she doesn't want a new one, she wants her old one back for sentimental value. Questions are raised as to what happens to the donation money after Kitara receives her old tablet back. Unfortunately I can't find the original post where Recca says this, just a comment referring to it.

There is much internet lawyering throughout. 

ETA: There appears to be a happy ending after all Kitara posts a new journal saying she got the tablet back.