Mock. Mockmockmock. Mockity-mock-mock

6:16pm: Lily Potter, a trophy wife
The essay about Lily by randomneses continues to attract crazy people. oryx_leucoryx finally stopped wanking here, but don't worry! Enter n1ght1ng4l3, who claims to be not a Snape fan and to dislike the Marauders and Snape equally, despite being a member of Snapedom and two Sirius comms (also such comms for butthurt fans as dh_oh_shit and deadlyhollow).

Wank ensues. Some comments by n1ght1ng4l3:
( Read more )

8:32pm: Give Me Your Huddled Masses
Thanks to an anon on wank_report for all the links.

SPN fans Legoline and benitle wrote a long post called Workshop: Faking It: Pretending You're A US Citizen When You're An Ocean Away. It covers immportant issues for SPN fic writers like how big the United States is, how the social security system works, and the need to spell colour as 'color'.

Oddly enough, the writers aren't Americans or native English speakers. They talk a lot about the US as if it had just one culture. They make several mistakes. And maybe they just went a little over the top at points:

High school/college-based shows like Glee or Freaks & Geeks will give you a first impression of how the educational system works and where you need to do some further reading. If you're into shows like Criminal Minds, CSI or various police shows you can get a feeling for law enforcement (which might come in handy if you're writing a fic from Henriksen's POV about chasing the Winchesters). If you're willing to invest the money, there are plenty of textbooks about Criminal Investigation that show and explain various techniques of interrogation etc. to students of criminal science. These books are usually very expensive, but it's worth keeping an eye on Amazon marketplace or eBay - sometimes they pop up there for a few Dollars or Euros.

Initial response was positive, until someone asks if the OPs are just talking about dialogue, or are they saying the narrative should sound American too. 'Because the latter would be incredibly offensive.'

benitle responds that it's the writer's call, but they're just trying to help fic writers hide their non-American-ness. And kaboom, wank explosion!

( Highlights under the cut )

11:34pm: internet lawyers and exploding sanguinarians
Once upon a time there was Kia, aka Angelica Caprice aka absintheminded aka kiastar67 aka AyahuascaDreams, a Wincest-shipping self-professed vegetarian vampire who feels she has been persecuted on the internets.

No, seriously.

Kia's problems with the internets started on buzznet.com, where some of her statements were brought into question. For example, there's the bit where she said the show Supernatural promotes factual interpretations of paganism and paranormal whatnot. (Her posts were deleted, but the bulk of them remain as quotes in other people's posts. Watch for kiastar67 or absintheminded.)

Also, she found herself the subject of mockery for discussing her vampiric and/or sanguinarian leanings. In a Question of the Day post about vampires, Kia took a question about the vampire bill of rights seriously:

Yes, it is called the Black Veil! It was written a while back by a Sanguinarian from House Kheperu and COVICA . It is a code of Ethics for the Vampire/ Vampyre/ Sanguinarian community!

And, when prodded further, proceeded to claim that author Charlaine Harris is secretly promoting the sanguinarian agenda.

Well, I'm SURE no one here knows exactly where she got it or her EXACT meaning or purpose.

And then, as if realizing she was burying herself, decided to bury buzznet readers. In text.

WHAT? Hell NO! I learn from YOU GUYS daily! I know a little about nothing. Its just called being sick and stuck so reading too much(until I ruined my eyes) and being, like that Astor Roth(?) song about college says,"can't i just stay in college? That's what I did...professional student. Also a weird assed childhood. LOLAnyway...I know THIS because I have been a Sang before they came "out of the coffins and into the light" of the media and books. There are some Sanguinarians and Swans on Buzznet but I would never out them (don't worry guys) That is just "being discreet" which is part of the Black Veil. They will speak if they feel comfortable. People do NOT want to speak out because of certain books or stereotypes (remember what you guys said about OTHER stereotypes before laughing about this) Hell yes you can have sex without that. Blood play is a dangerous thing nowadays and donors (swans) are screened and taken care. In blood-letting or "feeding' they do say it is best to separate sex and that aspect. You can take life force through many ways (energy vampyres) and even those that think they can take only through blood can get it through sex Prana and Chakras (separate from the blood) It is VERY dangerous if people do not know what they are doing,the person and what they might have , how to take it without infection or hurting the donor. It is NOT something I would suggest! Sex (if you are an adult I will say because i am being official) is great for energy work as the energy from this is IMMENSE when done properly to TAKE Prana! If a Sanguinarian tells you they can turn into a bat, live forever, not go out in the sun(some don't do well in DIRECT sunlight) and things like that...run.They are nutters! Did that help?

And then gets into an argument over whether or not she said vampires were sanguinarians, or whether or not she knows psychic vampire sanguinarians, or . . . Yeah. It goes on for just about ever.


Things stayed quiet for a little bit. Then, on November 19th, tumblr user focahontas posted a screencap of some of Kia's crazy. This post got reblogged by a few users, then by newageamazon, who added "Fun fact, folks: nobody cares if you wank to Wincest. But if you habitually make yourself look like an idiot in a public forum? That’s when people start to care."

Doing so, of course, was like throwing rocks at the proverbial beehive.

Kia responded by getting a little passive-aggressive on her twitter. She performed brilliant tactical ass-covering by cutting out letters of the names of people she felt had wronged her, thus rendering her invisible to the eye of the internets. No one ever saw her snarking against those internet meanies, or expressing at length her thoughts on her oppression.

Wait, that's not how it worked at all. Seriously, someone get this woman a livejournal. (Extra points for Godwin's, "I'm not anti-gay, I have gay friends," use of "feminist" as an insult, and a random PERSECUTION macro.)

Buzznet user bznetgossipgrl tried to inject sanity into the cause; Kia responded by ejecting a rainbow-tone dissertation all over her myspace. Dissenters shall be obliterated! Though . . . if you scroll down far enough on her myspace, you'll learn how to curse people in the name of the Father, Son, & Holy Spirit--you know, like they did in the Old Testament. Or how to summon your very own sex demon.

Her long-winded attacks on high-profile buzznet members--a mod included--eventually resulted in her being banned from buzznet. So, feeling extra-persecuted, Kia fired off a cease & desist to Buzznet staff. This cease & desist. Word for word. ETA: Original twitter links are gone, but other people are talking about it: 1 2 3 4 5


Kia's talking about internet lawyers and lawsuits. Some buzznet users are talking about Kia's talking about internet lawyers and lawsuits. I get the feeling this one's gonna be like C.S., only with more sex demons and possibly a tasty, tasty Sam/Dean center.

ETA 2--Holy Geometry, now we're speaking Sanguinarian!: Kia takes on Landover Baptist--yes, those guys.

Wow, people are very intolerant. Hey, that Ok, I will post the site on Buzznet and let people come and debate! I honestly doubt that any of you seriously know what a Sanguinarian is. Therefore, how can you speak on those people. Have you ever heard of the Yazidi people? I have a feeling 99.9% will say NO(even if they do worship angles) (...)

Also, her collegiate kid who's helping her start her hippietrancedojojuicebarclub was fourteen last year--but that's okay, she's a business-owning super-genius.

You make fun of people that are in need of med's? My daughter has Iritis and is 14 with a 170 IQ.She speaks Fluent Japanese and already has opened a business. She is slightly asthmatic and is on Coricoid steriods for a time. For the Iritis she takes eye drops. Even ON these meds she is 10 fold ahead of where you will ever be.She has apathy and compassion and offered her blood when her friend was in an accident,even though she is in deep fear of needles due to painful test. She is half Native American(her father and i are half) and also speaks 2 basically dead languages ,along with Latin and Sanguinese. \

ETA 3--She Comes From a Land Down Under (the ocean): Kia's people are from Atlantis.

Also, she knows more about "angles"--and everything else--than you do. Even if those biased close-minded Judeocentric meanies on the Supernatural boards don't believe her.

Well wait, first,these are olf Jewish "angles" and the kaball;ah is some serious S***. I have studied it for let's see, over 20 years ,and STILL have to keep many books to understand the higher issues ,KOS and HOW TO PRONOUNCE IT.
(...)
I have been dealing with magic, from vodoun, Palomayombe, Sanguinese (one you will NEVER see your entire life no matter what you do) Druidism, Paganism, most South American Animism and spirit believes,Enochian magic, Luciferianism,and so many many more since i was about 6. I own a magic gallery that sells items from antiquity some so rare we have found only one, many from dig sites, etc. Getting the picture? I grew up living with many different Indigenous peoples and learning culture and magic and it is sad when rubes like you have to put that down, can't understand.

And for the tasty Sam/Dean filling! You don't know Sam and Dean like she does, because of her cultural learnings. Wincest is okay because the Pharaohs did it, and because it's in the bible; and so, it's wrong for us to judge. I . . . I think I've been schooled, guys.

ETA 4--I'm on the internets, corruptin ur babeez: Either she's googling herself or has a myspace tracker; the f_wank post has been found. No matter her previous thoughts on being involved with internet drama, her response is as you might imagine: yet another endless twitter rant. Journalfen's users are losers and drama queens, and she knows her internet law. It looks like she's read my Strikethrough writeup and decided it means I'm a pedophile--and though she believes Wincest is all well and good, she feels her child is in danger from me. She also is pretty sure I'm Newageamazon. That's absurd. I'm caito. And tomorrow she plans to take this post and "show us the truth." I wonder if she can do it in tie-dye. Alas, no dice. But like the creepy mouthbreather hell-bent on handing their hardcore RPS fic to their fannish idol, we shall watch and wait.