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	edward_hyde 2003-10-16 08:30 am UTC (link)
	Wank: the Great American Sport. Or something. ^^;; (Reply to this)

	quinctia 2003-10-16 08:34 am UTC (link)
	That's not really wank, it's just Chicago baseball. Most people aren't really upset, and the ones that get upset don't get it. XD (Reply to this)

	terminal_frost 2003-10-16 08:51 am UTC (link)
	And they say that there's no passion left in baseball fans, or that they no longer care... Apparently they still do. They're so passionate they're orgasming. is hoping to see NHL wank shortly now that hockey season has started (Reply to this)(Thread)

(Anonymous)
2003-10-16 06:06 pm UTC (link)

There was actually a fairly amusing wank about a week ago where someone made a sparkly banner in rememberance of Dan Snyder, and people got on her case for it being, well, sparkly (I seem to remember something along the lines of "mourning shouldn't look like Las Vegas") and then the bannermaker and her friends got all irritated over that....

....but it was deleted before I could report it.

I didn't have a lot of time to look, but I did find this somewhat weak wank- "You spell things wrong!" "You're stupid for poining that out!" "You're the 'biggest dork i've ever come accrostt' for correcting me! Go be a teacher!" (http://messageboard.tampabaylightning.com/InfoPop/ubbcgi/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=1&t=003990)

Or, in a sorta weaker one, Red Wings fans, once again, use Cujo to bash the Rangers (http://www.letsgowings.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=9577). Reading Wings message boards makes me understand what it must be like to be a sane Harry Potter fan (what with all these crazy people supporting the same thing you are)

Hope that eases your NHL wank craving.

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(Anonymous)
2003-10-16 06:16 pm UTC (link)

Reading Wings message boards makes me understand what it must be like to be a sane Harry Potter fan (what with all these crazy people supporting the same thing you are)

Try being a Leafs fan.

I think the most common type of wank in hockey (or in most sports) is the "hypocritical defense": in which people jump all over players from another team for being bullies/bad sportsmen/etc, but when someone on their own team does it Must Defend Him At All Costs. "He didn't mean to." "Well, X had just done even worse to Y so it was provoked."

See: Domi, Tie and Niedermayer, Scott.

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	phosfate 2003-10-16 08:38 pm UTC (link)
	A Nebraska player recently punched a fan who had run on to the field. Guess who Nebraska fans are blaming? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	calluna 2003-10-16 10:32 pm UTC (link)
	I love my wanky state. :P (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	phosfate 2003-10-16 10:36 pm UTC (link)
	I'd set it on fire, but I'd have to move all my stuff out first. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	calluna 2003-10-16 10:38 pm UTC (link)
	You work on that, and I'll start pouring the gasoline on downtown Omaha. ^_^ (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	phosfate 2003-10-16 10:42 pm UTC (link)
	tents fingers Excellent. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	singe 2003-10-16 11:48 pm UTC (link)
	Ya'll skip Grand Island, though. (My Mama lives there!) (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	phosfate 2003-10-16 11:51 pm UTC (link)
	Of course. Destroying Grand Island would fuck up way too many tornado betting pools. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: singe 2003-10-16 11:53 pm UTC (link)
	BWAHAA!! (Reply to this)(Parent)

terminal_frost
2003-10-17 12:33 am UTC (link)

Try being a Leafs fan.

I'd wager ANYTHING involving the Original Six teams (Toronto, Montreal, Chicago, Boston, Detroit, and NY Rangers for the non-NHL'ers) is a good source for wank, simply because the teams have been around the longest.

Especially if it involves team rivalries. (Toronto/Montreal wank anyone?)

Am not a hockey fan, but I do live with one. They're a Habs fan (Montreal Canadiens), and watching them watch their team lose is always good for a laugh.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

(Anonymous)
2003-10-17 01:18 am UTC (link)

Try being a Leafs fan.

You win.

I think the most common type of wank in hockey (or in most sports) is the "hypocritical defense": in which people jump all over players from another team for being bullies/bad sportsmen/etc, but when someone on their own team does it Must Defend Him At All Costs.

Very, very true. I think I may have actually done that myself a time or two *hangs head*

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	(Anonymous) 2003-10-16 09:12 am UTC (link)
	Was wondering how long it would take for a baseball wank to make it on here. Did it take anyone else several comments to realize that the Sox they were talking about were the White Sox, not the Red Sox? Or maybe it's just my weird Boston-centric self... (Reply to this)(Thread)

	jfpbookworm 2003-10-16 09:12 pm UTC (link)
	There've been a few baseball wanks here. Enough for me to keep this icon around. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Damn... iczer6 2003-10-16 09:12 am UTC (link)
	I think I may share a state with these people. Makes me glad I'm an utter anime geek and have no interest in sports. Icz (Reply to this)

	arien 2003-10-16 09:47 am UTC (link)
	I admit that I don't have the slightest clue what this wank is about, but I feel really sorry for the poor guy who tried to catch the foul ball. Like those jerks wouldn't have tried if they were in his place. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	rann 2003-10-17 12:41 am UTC (link)
	Of course they would. But THEY would have had a perfectly good excuse for it, of course. And everyone would be wrong to bitch at them over it, since they should KNOW they'd have a good excuse. But hey, it's THAT guy, not THEM, so kill! Killlll! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	(Anonymous) 2003-10-16 02:38 pm UTC (link)
	Uhm, i'm a bit confused. What happened? Some guy caught a foul ball? (Reply to this)(Thread)

	teratologist 2003-10-16 04:14 pm UTC (link)
	Apparently by doing so, he prevented an actual player from getting hold of the ball and making an out, thus changing the Mojo of the game. At least it wasn't a soccer game. They'd have set him on fire. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2003-10-16 05:02 pm UTC (link)
	At least it wasn't a soccer game. They'd have set him on fire. If he was lucky. Death by mobile phones and water bottles seem to be the favourite among Real Madrid supporters. (Reply to this)(Parent)

teratologist
2003-10-16 04:19 pm UTC (link)

I suspect that by being a hive vagina of a generally non-sports-watching nature, we've been missing out on a lot of prime wank.

I've been hearing about these damn Cubs (and the other ones, the ones with red stockings) for WEEKS now. "Why are they the 'loveable losers'? No one gave the Phillies any media hype when THEY were winning. I hope they all lose in the ninth inning of the seventh game on an error!..." ad infinituum. And the football boards seem to rival the HP fandom in their ability to create endless numbers of threads during the off-season based completely on rumor, speculation, the way a 'character' was holding his little finger funny during a key play last year....

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	panthea 2003-10-16 05:11 pm UTC (link)
	i grew up in bridgeport and know how to handle yuppie faggots like you quite handily. Ahahaha! ...ha. cough Oh, sports fans, sports fans. Whatever are we going to do with you? "Quite handily". Hee. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	Yeah! irk 2003-10-16 10:00 pm UTC (link)
	He handles quite handily, dammit! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Yeah! panthea 2003-10-16 10:43 pm UTC (link)
	Hey, I wanna know how he "handles" yuppie faggots! Handily! I feel this is something we the public have a right to know! PORN! PORN! PORN! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	loki 2003-10-16 05:44 pm UTC (link)
	You know, if the Cubs were a good team, it wouldn'tve mattered about the guy catching the foul ball. (Reply to this)

	soleta 2003-10-16 05:54 pm UTC (link)
	the funny thing is, the guy who caught the foul? (he did catch it) I know his nephew. I was waiting for this to show up. g (Reply to this)(Thread)

	irk 2003-10-16 10:01 pm UTC (link)
	Cool! Congratulate him for me! XD (Reply to this)(Parent)

tempslut
2003-10-17 02:16 am UTC (link)

I think this calls for a "My fandom is cursed" icon.

Regarding NHL wank...try being a Blues fan. 20+ years, non-stop, getting into the playoffs, and no Stanley Cups to show up for it. The Blues=Supreme Playoff Chokers.

And yet, I still root for them. *sigh*

As for the playoffs...it's actually made Cardinal-rooting me not hate the Cubs so much. That'll change once the season begins again in April, of course ;)

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	Goats? Curses? loafing_oaf 2003-10-17 04:56 am UTC (link)
	Speaking of being cursed. Would I be right in thinking that Cubs fans believe their bad luck is due to being cursed many years ago after not admitting a goat to the stadium? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Goats? Curses? ieatpeople 2003-10-17 06:32 pm UTC (link)
	Sadly, yes. Though it's even more sad that I know this. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Goats? Curses? loafing_oaf 2003-10-17 07:43 pm UTC (link)
	First of all, I love your icon. Now that's out of the way - please tell me more about the goat. It's just sounds too good to be true g (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Goats? Curses?

ieatpeople
2003-10-17 10:12 pm UTC (link)

I love that pic, too. *g*

But okay... apparently, back in the 1940s, while the Cubs were still a good team or something, some guy who owned a tavern near the ballpark tried to bring a goat into the stadium during one of their world series games.

He wasn't allowed in with his goat, and supposedly cursed the team/ballpark/something. Since they haven't won a world series since, people seem to believe it.

I have unfortunately been subject to this story by my boyfriend along with many, many, many other baseball stories. I get revenge by telling him about my gay Snape dreams.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

	madelfdisease 2003-10-18 04:40 am UTC (link)
	I know the feeling. I have this soft spot in my heart for the Blues, but the customers in my bar learned last year that they don't even want to see me after the playoffs. I put their football ranting to shame. Wow, my husband rubbed off on me way too much, and I'll be over here now. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	tempslut 2003-10-18 05:39 am UTC (link)
	Well, next spring, if all goes to plan, we can wallow together. Last one who shows up at Ted Drewes turns into Mike Keenan! (Also? The Detroit Red Wings are definitely the Yankees of hockey, and thus, I hate them, too. Sorry Red Wings fans.) (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: madelfdisease 2003-10-18 06:17 am UTC (link)
	LOL - that is so true. Damn Red Wings. I'll have to bring my Blues puck into the bar this year so I can throw it at anyone who mocks my hockey love. Last year I was only able to threaten them when some asshat tried to change the channel during the play offs. He didn't seem to understand the concept of bartender=God of the Remote, who rules with Iron Fist. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	tocomfortyou 2003-10-17 09:03 am UTC (link)
	Dear Fans, This is why sports bars were invented. This is all fun when you're on your 6th bottle of beer with the rest of your buddies trading gripes about the fifth inning with the bartender, but on the Internet, it's just wank. Cut it out. Annoyed (Reply to this)