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Sister Psychosis ([info]bohicamouse) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2003-03-28 06:17:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:bitchmaster

OMG i bet ur talint izz sooooooo bigg!!!1 lolz
The Ralph Fiennes post reminded me of one of the most horrific experiences I've ever had online, in which I Googled my own name (I get bored, yo) and found This Ewan McGregor fanpage. The entire website is hilarious, but the best part is the section I linked to, in which random fans (one of whom does indeed share my full name, and it's not a common name!) are asked "If you were guaranteed that Ewan would read one message, what would it be?" Some very disturbing answers follow. I think the ones I enjoy the most are the several instances of "I have such a bad crush on you, but you're too old for me, so I'd love to be your daughter." Duuuuude.


(Post a new comment)


[info]mirabellawotr
2003-03-28 01:44 pm UTC (link)
Please get in touch. This is how much I would do just to meet you and speak to you just for one second I would hold the biggest spider in the world for you, That was cheesy really badly but it was good cheese so I will let it go.

Lordy, lordy.

I feel constrained to point out, however, that The Ewan does indeed have a might big talent. Among my friends the consensus is that it is not so much Little Ewan as Slightly Smaller Ewan.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]bohicamouse
2003-03-28 03:05 pm UTC (link)
Unfortunately, that would be my namesake's post. Why? WHY?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


wizzard
2003-03-28 06:17 pm UTC (link)
That whole google thing is a likely story. That sounds just like you!

Ewan.... If you read this massage I just want you to know that I'll always waiting for you ! E-mail me Pleeeaaase.....I'm waiting !

This is simple but it cracked me up. I also like the person who sort of dissed everyone else for being new fans. She's liked him since Shallow Grave-she's a real fan!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]bohicamouse
2003-03-28 06:44 pm UTC (link)
Ahh, you caught me!

Oh yeah, and then the one later where the girl apologizes to him for not having seen all his movies.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]oxydosic
2003-03-28 02:23 pm UTC (link)
"I have such a bad crush on you, but you're too old for me, so I'd love to be your daughter."

Uh...Ewan's old? Wonder what their standard for 'old' is.

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[info]mireille
2003-03-28 04:38 pm UTC (link)
I've got to think this means they're twelve. I've got to HOPE they're twelve, because then they might grow out of this.

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[info]jerry_ds_girl
2003-03-28 02:43 pm UTC (link)
How about the one that says, "Keep being a good father, get read (sic) of your wife, then come find me".

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]sorchar
2003-03-28 08:05 pm UTC (link)
Because the first rule of being a good father is to ditch the mother of your children so you can marry some fourteen year old fangirl.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]tempslut
2003-03-29 03:46 am UTC (link)
In that case, maybe they should start a Roman Polanski fansite.

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[info]ymfaery
2003-03-29 04:18 am UTC (link)
Not Jerry Lewis?

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]phosfate
2003-03-28 04:29 pm UTC (link)
Reading that made me feel soiled.

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[info]mffl
2003-03-28 04:41 pm UTC (link)
The way to woo any woman's soul is through a great smile and a song.

Pouring glitter on yourself and jumping around naked doesn't hurt either.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]bohicamouse
2003-03-28 06:46 pm UTC (link)
And how about that Spider Method of seduction the girl mentions? Man, anyone who would hold the world's biggest spider for me deserves my LOVIN'.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


dawnjosephine
2003-03-28 09:47 pm UTC (link)
I'm hoping the spider is large enough to either:
a.) squish the holder into a little splorch on the pavement
or
b.) consider her a meal, and make a dinner date of the whole "holding" affair.
But I'm mean like that.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


coreopsis
2003-03-28 04:48 pm UTC (link)
Just for his sake, I hope he never, ever stumbles across this site. *shudder* I need to go have a shower and maybe scrub my brain clean now.

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[info]sajasma
2003-03-28 08:08 pm UTC (link)
Hmmm, this is what I would say to Ewan:

Hey Mr. McGregor,

I think you're a terrific actor, but outside of the UK, you can't do accents for shit. We'll see about southern accents with Down With Love and...that, uh...other one (you know, with the crazy-haired auteur? Yeah, that one).

Love,
Saj

P.S. What was up with Blue Juice and The Serpent's Kiss? Dude, those movies were fucked up, yo.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]embla
2003-03-28 09:13 pm UTC (link)
What's up with all these people going on and on about what a fantastic singer Ewan is? He might be a mighty fine actor but he can't sing for shit. In fact he isn't even singing, he's SHOUTING! Take some lessons Ewan.

By the end of Moulin Rouge I was silently praying he wouldn't burst out into yet another smooooootchy crescendo. My ears, my ears.

Hey Ewan! I liked you in Trainspotting. Good film, good film.

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[info]sajasma
2003-03-29 06:07 am UTC (link)
*meep* I love Ewan's singing *sniff*

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[info]sagralisse
2003-03-28 10:27 pm UTC (link)
Dear Mr. McGregor,

I read a story where you had sex with Elijah Wood. That didn't happen, did it? It just worries me because I think it would really hurt Dom's feelings.

A. Fangirl

P.S. Don't worry about Star Wars, I'm sure you'll find a better movie soon.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]embla
2003-03-28 10:39 pm UTC (link)
EWLIJAH 4EVA!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!

Evil, evil Fangirl!!!11!!!

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[info]esorlehcar
2003-03-29 03:37 am UTC (link)
Sag? Have I mentioned today that I adore you?

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[info]sagralisse
2003-03-29 04:35 am UTC (link)
Hee! Nah, but I knew it.

But could you call me Sagra? Sag hits a teensy bit close to home when you're fortymumble.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]hugsnkisses
2003-03-29 11:11 am UTC (link)
WUlDn'tr it bE tOtAlLy FUnNy If hE rEplEed AnD wAS ALl: aCtuALY I HaBe hAd SEx WIth eLijAh AnD thEn YOu WoulF Be al: o.O

Or is that just me.

Yes?

*toddles off*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]sagralisse
2003-03-29 06:32 pm UTC (link)
UR s0 MEEN!!!! i"M gOnNA g3T tEh m0D 2 De3lt3 uR mSSSg!!!!1111~~~~

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]nevadafighter
2003-03-28 10:50 pm UTC (link)
As Richard Jeni once said: "And I'd like to be in a hot tub with Cindy Crawford naked, but hey, let's be freakin' realistic."

I know, I know . . . Realism in Fandom. Blasphemy. Yeah.

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[info]hugsnkisses
2003-03-29 11:17 am UTC (link)
I keep coming back to this post, reading the webpage and then being too shell-shocked to actually comment.

The way that the teenies don't seem to realise he *won't* read it is humorous. And I really must curb that urge to email all the people who said "email me!!!111", pretending to be Ewan and thanking them ofr their sweet message.

*is evil*

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[info]sagralisse
2003-03-29 06:34 pm UTC (link)
::gapes in awe at HnK's evilness::

And the thought never even crossed my mind.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

  
   
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