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ingrid ([info]ingrid) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2003-11-04 19:49:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:Candy-Coated

Now I feel old ...
A few million years ago there was an X-Files fan named Hester (a.k.a Stormlantern) who didn't like slash or slashers and there was much wank. Now, a decade later ...

Some things never change.

Uh, oh! Someone accidentally recs this steaming pile of wank-turd brilliant satire on The Haven, not knowing it was inspired by a longstanding "disagreement" between Hester and the mods on some, sadly, lost thread. (Close your eyes and imagine it. I guarantee you'll have no trouble seeing the wank in the far mist.)

Like fine bourbon with a hole in the bottle left to sit for ten years under your bathroom sink, this wank has developed the most amazing bouquet. Pee-U!


(Post a new comment)

...much, much too old...
(Anonymous)
2003-11-05 03:23 am UTC (link)
...that woman is the gunchiest gunch that ever drew a homophobic breath. Piles of steaming Hester!wank can be found on alt.tv.x-files.

(toddles off to find some)

ersatzkat

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: ...much, much too old...
[info]soleta
2003-11-05 03:32 am UTC (link)
thank god I stayed on atxc.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: ...much, much too old...
[info]snacky
2003-11-05 05:55 am UTC (link)
Oh, but she spread her wank there, as well. No place was safe from the WRATH OF STORMLANTERN, CRUSADER FOR THE STR8!

Hmm... do you think she knows about DL_A?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: ...much, much too old... - [info]soleta, 2003-11-05 05:58 am UTC
Re: ...much, much too old... - [info]kristenk2, 2003-11-05 03:10 pm UTC
Re: ...much, much too old... - [info]ingrid, 2003-11-05 03:36 pm UTC
Re: ...much, much too old... - [info]kristenk2, 2003-11-05 06:19 pm UTC
Re: ...much, much too old...
[info]teapotgirl
2003-11-05 07:26 am UTC (link)
Ah, Hester.
She'd even question your sexuality if you didn't believe in the one tru luv!
I remember she threw a shit fit when there was a thread discussing Skinner and Scully as a couple.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: ...much, much too old...
(Anonymous)
2003-11-05 07:33 am UTC (link)
*jawdrop* Iron Giant icon! That's the first one I've seen! I love you! (Where'd you get it? Did you make it?) Eee, love that movie (and Dean) so much.

-- Polaris_Starz (http://www.livejournal.com/users/polaris_starz) at LJ

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: ...much, much too old... - [info]teapotgirl, 2003-11-05 07:38 am UTC
Re: ...much, much too old... - (Anonymous), 2003-11-05 10:04 am UTC

[info]cesare
2003-11-05 03:37 am UTC (link)
LANGLY: I'm talking about his sexual orientation, you dipwad.
FROHIKE: Mulder is Chinese?

GET IT? Orientation? Chinese? AHAHAHahahaha*cough*cough*hack*blargh*.

Ugkh. That one hurt coming back up.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]kyuuketsukirui
2003-11-05 09:25 am UTC (link)
Thanks for the explanation. That one flew right over my head. ^_^;; I was like Chinese wha? But I didn't care enough to reread the previous sentence. :p

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]phosfate
2003-11-05 07:23 pm UTC (link)
Oh.

It's like attempted comedy, in a way.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]banal_o_rama
2003-11-05 04:01 am UTC (link)
You know what's great? Mulder's penis in someone else's ass.

Mm, buttsex.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]singe
2003-11-05 05:35 am UTC (link)
Mmmm, crotch punch!




OW!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]schoenschoen
2003-11-06 01:28 am UTC (link)
You are my new God. *worships*

CHOTTO CHOTTO BUTTSEX!!1!oen!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]setsunastar
2003-11-06 04:27 pm UTC (link)
Shouldn't that be "motto motto", or is that just the rabid slasher in me talking? ;)

(Reply to this)(Parent)

possible self-wanking ahoy!
[info]enkogneatoh
2003-11-05 05:58 am UTC (link)
At least we got a new law out of that wankiness. I wrote:

Deirdre's Law: As a fandom discussion grows longer, the probability that participants will define True Fans as "those who agree with us" approaches one.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: possible self-wanking ahoy!
[info]kristenk2
2003-11-05 06:20 pm UTC (link)
*making sekrit notes* :)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: possible self-wanking ahoy!
[info]deirdre
2003-11-05 08:30 pm UTC (link)
*blink*

You missed that one?

*wank, wank, wank*

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: possible self-wanking ahoy! - [info]smo, 2003-11-05 08:30 pm UTC
Re: possible self-wanking ahoy! - [info]enkogneatoh, 2003-11-06 08:28 pm UTC
Re: possible self-wanking ahoy! - [info]smo, 2003-11-06 11:06 pm UTC

[info]snacky
2003-11-05 05:59 am UTC (link)
MULDER: I don't suppose whupping his little pansy ass would prove anything either.

Oh, Hester, Hester. No, of course you don't have any issues.

(Reply to this)


[info]kristenk2
2003-11-05 06:14 am UTC (link)
The best part of this one to me is that the person reccing didn't even *read* the story, she just skimmed it!

Boy, that really explains a lot about the quality of the recs that often come from the Haven. *g*

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2003-11-05 08:48 pm UTC (link)
Me thinks Hester is in her late forties to early fifties, is still a virgin, and has at least four cats.

Somewhere, in another universe, Mulder is whupping Krycek's pretty pansy ass right now and loving every minute of it.

Logan, who has no journalfen account

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]smo
2003-11-05 08:52 pm UTC (link)
Don't forget "...and lives in a studio apartment, which she is still renting."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]virago, 2003-11-05 09:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2003-11-05 10:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]virago, 2003-11-06 04:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2003-11-06 04:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2003-11-05 09:02 pm UTC
But she is working.. - [info]rubytramp, 2003-11-06 06:57 pm UTC
Re: But she is working.. - (Anonymous), 2003-11-06 07:14 pm UTC
Re: But she is working.. - [info]smo, 2003-11-06 07:18 pm UTC
Re: But she is working.. - [info]rubytramp, 2003-11-06 07:33 pm UTC
Re: But she is working.. - [info]smo, 2003-11-06 07:45 pm UTC
Re: But she is working.. - [info]rubytramp, 2003-11-06 07:56 pm UTC
Re: But she is working.. - [info]smo, 2003-11-06 08:32 pm UTC
Re: But she is working.. - [info]rubytramp, 2003-11-06 08:36 pm UTC
Re: But she is working.. - [info]smo, 2003-11-06 11:05 pm UTC
Re: But she is working.. - [info]rubytramp, 2003-11-06 11:43 pm UTC
Re: But she is working.. - (Anonymous), 2003-11-07 04:59 am UTC
stormlantern
(Anonymous)
2003-12-06 06:02 pm UTC (link)
So this is the Haven for the Internet's Most Dysfunctional. Wow, impressive; the inmates here certainly have it all covered in that regard, including a dysfunctional sense of humor. Glad you folks appreciated my little fic. It's the second time I posted it at Ephemeral BTW. Thus far it's gotten a total of 258 recs from readers, taken altogether. Hmm, how many recs does your average slashfic get? Well, let's put it this way: you people could count the recs on one hand. Which is no doubt your usual method of calculating, given what your other hand is probably doing.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: stormlantern
(Anonymous)
2004-01-23 12:37 am UTC (link)
Which is no doubt your usual method of calculating, given what your other hand is probably doing

OMG u is talkin bout muster mathsdebat BAD THINGS!!!11 OMG they is not inmates they is losers with no lives don't u no how to be a proper person what is posting anonimosly?

PS: Sorry, but I prefer to use my brain when considering how good a story is, rather than other peoples'.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: stormlantern
(Anonymous)
2004-01-23 03:01 am UTC (link)
17 Spookys seems like a pretty good number of recs to me.

Logan

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: stormlantern
[info]eljuno
2004-01-23 08:21 am UTC (link)
Thus far it's gotten a total of 258 recs from readers, taken altogether. Hmm, how many recs does your average slashfic get? Well, let's put it this way: you people could count the recs on one hand.

I don't know what's sadder...that you consider the number of "recs" on your story a statement of worth, that you keep track of them THAT scrupulously, or that you think we actually would give a shit how many "recs" your shitty little piece of writing got.

-El Juno, the incredible un-recced RPS writer.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: stormlantern
[info]hj1
2004-01-23 04:34 pm UTC (link)
258 morons with crappy taste in fic can't be wrong!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: stormlantern - [info]phosfate, 2004-01-24 12:47 am UTC

[info]westmoon
2004-01-23 05:40 pm UTC (link)
Ah Hester.

Good times, good times.

That fic reminded me why I don't visit Ephemeral anymore.

(Reply to this)

  
   
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